Debby Valium & Mary Jane

[Charlie Darkest]

Valium seems like a Debby.

I am a regular marijuana user and was recently prescribed Valium for anxiety related to work. I am taking 5mg twice a day and I feel like a million bucks. I take it at 7 and 7.

Around 5pm I start to feel like the entire world is ending and my skin crawls so I smoke weed to cool it out. Then when I take my 7pm Valium I feel like I imagine heroin might feel.

I'm scared of my indulgence and I can't seem to find the line between therapeutic relief and destructive fun.

Is it OK to enjoy the things that make you better? or should it be just enough to make living bearable?

 

[Deleted member 1860]

The danger with enjoying it so much is that if you hit tolerance on the Valium, you'll need more and more to feel good. And since you love that feeling, upping the dose is that much easier.

Walking a fine line with benzos sucks! Yes, I've been there...well, actually am there now. I'm out of Ativan and my current Rx has been waiting at the pharmacy for a number of days. I suppose I let it sit there just to prove to myself I am not dependent. But, I am not taking it regularly as regular use induces dependence and subsequent withdrawals for me.

So, my advice is to be aware of your dose and take note of whether it seems to become less effective over time. Sometimes I think these pills are the devil, but when things get bad they keep me from doing incredibly stupid things (I use mine to quell thought rumination when my coping skills don't work.)

 

[DharmaGirl]

I have chronic pain and I constantly worry about addiction. I used to have Ativan as needed, but I decided to use meditation instead since it is so addicting. Does your doc know you use marijuana? I also have narcotics, but i don't like to use them unless I have to. That way I feel in control of them.

 

[Anna]

It is all down to moderation and having it under control, when it becomes an addiction this is deadly and can spiral out of control.

I myself love alcohol. A beer in the evening topped off with some vodka shots. This helps me to sleep and calms my anxiety. Also recently in the mornings Espresso, coffee, tea and recently nicotine chewing gum. I gave up smoking years ago due to chronic bronchitus but I miss the nicotine. This helps me through the day.

It is moderation though. I do not feel the need for it. I just find that evenings I sleep a whole lot better and quicker when I am intoxicated to a drowsy extent.

 

[Hashi]

Is it OK to enjoy the things that make you better? or should it be just enough to make living bearable?

The thing is that they don't make you better. They make you feel better for a short time. It's not the same thing.

Obviously there are risks to do with what you're taking, dependency and side effects. i think there are also risks that the main issues won't be addressed, so nothing will change outside the medication (official or otherwise). I'm speaking from experience, so please know that my intention is sharing, not judging.

Are you doing any work on the anxiety? I know this might sound harsh, but in some ways having to face the anxiety is more likely to make you do something about it. I think blunting it, or even getting past it to a chemical vacation, doesn't do anything beyond the short term unless you use the opportunity to make some changes. I think that's the most important question.

 

[LC23]

I am also a cannabis user, and find it's very helpful, but I also go to therapy and work on my issues in other ways - it's never going to be a total solution, just one thing in my toolbox. Valium - be verrry careful. I try to use it only very occasionally, on heavy anxiety days, once every two or three months. If it's part of your regular habit, that could be problematic the longer that goes on. Cannabis is practically a vegetable and a vitamin in comparison to Valium (or SSRIs, for that matter).

 

[Charlie Darkest]

Thanks for all your help. I feel like we're all unplugged from The Matrix even though that movie sucks now.

I had a really good day today and didn't feel the need to smoke in the morning. I was able to rock my 2-year-old daughter for a long time before I put her in bed tonight. Usually I put her down as soon as I think she's asleep so I can run downstairs for weed. Tonight I felt like I bonded with her. Then I was able to watch The Grey on Netflix Instant with my wife without smoking weed. I gave her an hour-long foot massage. She smiled when she kissed me goodnight. I'm stoned now anyway but I feel like my good wolf was bigger than my bad one today.

By the way. The Grey has some really existential undertones that appealed to my current situation.

Thanks,

C. Darkest