Am I A Horrible Person If I Don't Go Visit My Sick Old Grandma Before She Dies?

[Philippa]

That's also what I figured too saffy.

With dementia, they really don't know who you are, so it has to be asked, does it really matter if you go or not, as they aren't really 'there' with you? My father had to deal with his own mother not even recognizing him, and actually thinking he was her lover:confused:.

She also used to beat him with her walking stick when she would get ragey, and be just horrible. She told him she loved him (for the first time in his entire life) when she was mad and in a home.

Ever since, he has been acting like he has dementia. It's as if it is contagious if you spend too much time with someone in this state?

 

[p-no]

With dementia, they really don't know who you are, so it has to be asked, does it really matter if you go or not, as they aren't really 'there' with you?

I think it's more about whether you want to be there with them, not vice versa. Your life is about what you want -- not implying ruthlessness.

 

[Philippa]

Yes true.

 

[saffy]

Ever since, he has been acting like he has dementia. It's as if it is contagious if you spend too much time with someone in this state?

He must have felt totally bewilldered and confused about this, and I doubt he wanted to talk about it after either. Dememtia is a terrible thing to see in someone you love. I remember the last time I saw my nana and she had no idea who I was and just repeated ' who are you then' over and over again. Not her fault at all , but I dont think it helped me or her by being there. She died peacefully in her sleep, which I am thankful of at least. And I remember her as she was.

Best wishes
Saffy :)