Goal of The Day-Challenging Your PTSD

[ms spock]

I am doing so much better today. I am feeling so much better today I should say. I am going at a consistent pace. I did my first Dip in the Ocean. I am cooking lunch now. I have to do a few errands and tidying up then I am going with an acquaintance of mine for another Dip in the Ocean. Might not get as much done today as yesterday but I am managing okay. I will pick up pace again as I go on.

 

[saffy]

Dip in the Ocean

I love the ocean :)

Always make time to play :) have fun Ms Spock :)

Best wishes
Saffy :)

 

[CraftyCath]

I want to live by the ocean, I just love it.

Well today I have brushed the stairs and the kitchen floor and cleaned out the bird cage but I now need to hoover up. Now here is the problem. My goal is not to clean up but to avoid an argument with my eldest and deal with him without dissociating. And here's how it goes:

He complains when I hoover up in the morning because it wakes him up (morning being anything up to 3 pm!). So if I wait for him to get up he then complains that I'm hoovering up around him so it is a no win situation.

Seen as I haven't yet mopped the kitchen floor I will be doing both shortly weather he is up or not so my goal today is to not let his attitude get to me. House needs cleaning so unless he does it or rents me a cleaner I guess I will have to do it.

 

[safenow]

I got up around 3:30am. I woke up around 5 minutes ago. LOL. The body has been doing all sorts of things. We have been posting all morning. We got the dishes washed and in the strainer. I'm going to go make my bed now. Then I'll have some breakfast, then do my scripture study at 9:00am and begin my day.

Anyway, my goal to day is to wash the walls around the window in the living room beside my chair. Which means I need to exert extra energy to pull out the recliner, and stand to reach those area I can't reach in the wheelchair. That makes me anxious just thinking about it. But I know it will be worth it.

I hope you all are able to do what you want to do today. Remember the spoon theory. (If you don't know what I'm talking about, look it up on search here. The link is here somewhere.)

 

[Britt.f7]

And there is no fixing my family.

I have to remind myself of this from time to time. All I can fix, or change is how I deal with them. My aunt may have cut herself out of my life and I may never know why. I know I did not do anything mean or wrong. Only thing I can think of is I admitted to her that I was institutionalized earlier in the year due to suicidal thoughts, but that I was better and still seeking counselling. I also said it was no one's fault. It is since then that I haven't heard from her.

I think it is strong of you to walk away and understand the limitations. I'm hoping to gain that strength.

morning being anything up to 3 pm!

My son is like this, especially in the summer. Drives my husband mad. I usually wait until a relatively reasonable morning hour and do what I need to. I'm not much good later in the day so it has to be done when I am able to do it. Sounds like a no win situation with your son so you mise well do it when you want to. ;)

 

[The Albatross]

Not feeling too good today, but my day challenge was to go to the beach, armed with a couple bags of cornflakes from the dollar store. I had been three weeks into the photo challenge and not been to the beach. So I did that today. I live a mile away from the beach, it was kinda disappointing really that it was an effort for me to go there unaccompanied. But I did it.

Met a nice local who is now living in North Carolina... there were about 30 people on our little stretch of beach today, she snapped a couple pictures of me for a friend in the hospital. It was the best two bucks I'd spent in a long time, I fed the seagulls and there was one pidgeon, sort of out of place in the group. I made sure that goofy pidgeon got their share of the cornflakes.

Not really much of a goal... but I had been avoiding the beaches since my dad died of kidney cancer. I think I'm going to take a cue from Ms. Spock and get more daring this spring and summer. I did snap some photos to share, and hope my husband can upload them tonight or so.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

My husband and I dusted and vacumned this house. It is nice to have it done, and I feel a sense of accomplishment.

 

[safenow]

Well, I thought I was still working on the living room thingy by cleaning one wall by the recliner, but so much for that idea. The body will not allow me to do what I wanted to do.sigh. By the time I prepared the area to clean, I was too weak to clean.

The good thing is, I saw my landlady this morning while I was getting the mail, and I asked if they would replace my blinds or clean them when I sign my lease this October. She said yes, no problem. They either do the carpets or the blinds. So at least by the end of the year i'll have one thing clean. LOL. I just need to get the carpet cleaned on my own dime. I can save up for that.

When I try to do something this simple and can't, I get a tad bit anxious, and it frustrates me that I do. This is all residual from last July before I went inside myself for those three months. They said I'd had a small stroke, but I came back from it. Now, I'm having problems again. I know it looks like a stroke when I switch to someone inside who is carrying the pains of the body, but when they go back down, the symptoms leave. That alter is a little, I'm sorry to say. Which is why I try to carry my own pain. But when I'm really tired, and my blood sugar is all over the place, she comes out for a little while.

 

[a3a2]

My house is a mess and makes me feel frazzled and out of control...not as bad as it used to, but bad enough. This weekend I will (try) to get just ONE ROOM super clean so I feel like I have a retreat from the mess. My kids WILL help me!!!!!

 

[ms spock]

I did get moving this morning despite feeling like I just wanted to sleep the day away. So that was good.

 

[saffy]

Hi Craftcath.

How old is your son, can I ask?

is he old enough to share the load?

and is he old enough to set a compromise?

I get really angry when people assume it is our job to do the housekeeping, actually it is not, us women are just better at it, but it is not our job.

Everyone who lives in a house makes equal mess so why should it be only up to one person to clean it all up?

Depending on the child's age, but even as young children they need to learn that living with people in a nice house takes responsibility on their part too. Even if it is just tidying up after themselves.

A short story, my daughters fiancée had everything done for him and it causes rows for them because she is always picking up after him, that is not her job as a person. It made her feel like she was nothing more than a scullery maid and she started to resent him for it. For a while it actually broke them up because she did not feel like the beautiful lady she should have felt. They are back together now and work as a team when it comes to the more mundane cleaning jobs.

My son helps around the house all the time with his girlfriend and in fact I have to tell her that she is being lazy and making excuses about why she cant do this that or the other. She told me her mother sat on the settee all day watching Jeremy vile on Tv and stuffing her face, expecting her husband, who was also in the army to do all the work. His discipline kept him strong but he too resented her for it. My sons girlfriend thought this was the norm until I explained that in their home they should help each other, it is not one persons job over the other.

When they were growing up we all had to help around the house if they refused I put all their junk in their rooms and told them if they liked to live in shit they could do it in their own rooms but do not spread it around the house so I have to live in it. I refused to go into their rooms and left their mess for them to do themselves. They realised after a while that they did not like this and started pulling their weight, they are both tidy in their homes now.

Anyway what I am trying to say is that is everyone has different rules in the family home but some actions have a knock on effect later in life. Do you really enjoy doing all this by yourself??

Sorry if this is out of term, you might have OCD or something.

Have you ever watched Shirley Valentine :)

If you have to do this work coming to a compromise is about the best to move on.

Make a time that you are both happy with. Say 9am. He should be out of bed by then anyway. IF he is not prepared to help at this time then tough, he can always go out if he hates the noise of the hoover.

For your needs to be met, you like to do things early so he needs to respect this also, you are respecting his wishes by not waking him up aren't you?

Assert your needs and rights hun :)

Best wishes
Saffy :)

 

[saffy]

Not really much of a goal.

You must be joking, give yourself a break Hun, it took strength and and courage to do this and you did it. :)

When I try to do something this simple and can't

It is not simple to you and that what matters.

Feeling a failure comes when you compare your efforts to others. But, those others are much more abled to do it. Compare yourself to someone of equal disability instead. Someone who looses breathe or feels pain to move or needs a wheelchair or lacks confidence in themselves or has no support.

Don't be afraid to ask for help either. please try not to judge yourself by the cleanliness of your carpets and curtains there is so much more to you than this :)

Best wishes
Saffy :).