Relationship Combat Ptsd - My Partner - Any Help Advice Please

[Wendyjaneadams]

Hi there,

I'm wondering if anyone can give me a bit of advice. My boyfriend of two and a bit years has always suffered PTSD, back from 1st Gulf, and treatments he had back then before I knew him didn't work. We have a long distance relationship, but have spent a lot of time together overall. He seems to cope well and we have a great time mostly when together, but he decided to have another go at a newer therapy and went residential in Washington.

There was no contact with me for 11 weeks, until yesterday, when he emailed me. It is a terrible email, paragraphs of how hard it's been - tortuous, he called it, and feels he's not yet fixed and maybe won't be, and questioning whether I should be waiting for him and what he can offer me, and really sounding like there is no hope for us, though he suggests we talk on neutral ground when he's back in my country. I have replied without being dramatic or showing how very hurt I am, just said whatever he needs is fine, of course we can talk, and we can just be friends if he prefers. He has had a habit when away of writing emails a bit like this, with the PTSD talking, but this is the longest time we've been out of contact and this is the worst.

Inside, I am devastated though, and don't know if I should assume he doesn't really want me and just walk away. Please, if anyone has had a similar experience, or knows what goes on at these residential courses where you are cut off for weeks...I'd really really appreciate it.

I feel guilty joining a forum and just piling in begging for help. I haven't really done forums before about anything really, so I'm being selfish I know..but I am desperate..and reaching out just to see if someone might be able to say something.

Hope I've not approached this or done anything wrong the way I've just come on here.

Thanks a lot for reading.

 

[Sighs]

Hello.

I have been in a relationship with a combat vet for over a year now. He has not been in residential treatment but we did a long distance relationship for a while. I have found that the longer we are apart the more doubt he has about the relationship. I don't think its doubt about his feelings for me - its more about how he feels about himself. In his dark days he hates himself, sees himself as a drag on me and is convinced I would be better off without him.

He has on several occasions told me the relationship is over - including once just a few days before I was due to move interstate to be with him. I was absolutely gutted - no job, belongings in boxes, removalists booked etc. Every time I reassure him that I love him, that I want to be with him, that I don't see him as a bother and that I see qualities in him that he doesn't see.

If you want to continue the relationship you will need to reassure him over and over that it is what you want.

Feel free to private message me if you want. Hope this message gets to you as I didn't see your post until today.

S

 

[Wendyjaneadams]

Hello.

I have been in a relationship with a combat vet for over a year now. He has not been in residential treatment but we did a long distance relationship for a while. I have found that the longer we are apart the more doubt he has about the relationship. I don't think its doubt about his feelings for me - its more about how he feels about himself. In his dark days he hates himself, sees himself as a drag on me and is convinced I would be better off without him.

Thank you so much - this sounds exactly like him :(. I would really like to private message you but can't work out how to do it. Thanks again.