Is My Therapist Doing Emdr Right?

[Janellen]

I have a trauma from when I as 20. My EMDR therapist let me do EMDR for it, but then she said that EMDR is supposed to be for traumas under 14 yrs old, so we have to find that memory. I told her that it related to something in high school, so she said we could go back to that. But that isn't even before 14. I think that the trauma from being 20 triggers me, so I don't see why I can't just focus on that. Does EMDR really have to be just young traumas? Can't I use it for things in adulthood?

 

[anonymous]

Does EMDR really have to be just young traumas? Can't I use it for things in adulthood?

Well as people here have used EMDR for things like car accidents etc then it doesn't make sense that she's saying it can only be used for childhood trauma. If anything it's generally the other way round and as less often recommended for the more complex trauma often associated with childhood traumatic experiences (although there are a number of people on this site who have found it helpful for treating complex trauma too)

Are you sure she saying that has to be trauma you experienced before the age of fourteen, and not that it should be trauma you experienced less than fourteen years ago? ....Again though, there are people here who have successfully used EMDR for older trauma.

I would go back to her and ask for clarification.

 

[garden]

I have traumas from early childhood and then incidents sprinkled throughout my life and my therapist strongly believes that EMDR would cause me more problems, and does not recommend it whatsoever. I have seen many posts about it's efficacy and have been really curious about it, but it's apparently not for everyone. I am not sure what determines when it's okay and when it's not, but I have noticed that it's contraindicated sometimes...

 

[ihateusernames]

I have no experience with it, but that is completely contrary to what I've read.

 

[ihateusernames]

and not that it should be trauma you experienced less than fourteen years ago

Yeah, this would make a whole lot more sense. She might feel that you don't remember things well enough that are older than that. Especially if you're young now.

 

[anonymous]

have a trauma from when I as 20. My Link Removed therapist let me do EMDR for it,

I think that the trauma from being 20 triggers me, so I don't see why I can't just focus on that.

Do you mean she was going to let you do EMDR for it and then changed her mind, or that you did do EMDR for it and want to do some more on it?

 

[Deleted member 28942]

@Janellen EMDR can be used for different traumas. However, it is useful to identify the core trauma or touchstone memory and clear that one up. If that is done usually the later traumas resolve on their own. If you want to learn more about it, I recommend the book:
"Getting Past Your Past: Take Control of Your Life with Self-Help Techniques from EMDR Therapy"

It explains EMDR and how to identify the memories to be targeted and it helps in understanding the process better. An example, a person is in an abusive relationship. This is a traumatic event. However, the reason for this is most likely related to some memory/ies in childhood. Clearing up those memories can have a greater impact then clearing the memories of the adult abusive relationship.

 

[Janellen]

No, she really does mean under 14 years old. I can see how we could maybe look for an old memory if it comes up. She starts to let me do EMDR for an adult trauma, then she sabotages it, saying I need to look further back, or that I need to change my self-esteem. I just wanted to know if she is right according to the principles of EMDR, or if she should be more flexible, or if there tends to be more flexibility in EMDR. I thought I could just do adult traumas by themselves.

 

[anonymous]

Not every adult trauma has a root childhood trauma.... This may be where she is going astray.

 

[Deleted member 28942]

I need to change my self-esteem.

Is this how she said it? If she said it that way, I am concerned that she might not be the best therapist for you. Changing self-esteem for trauma victims does not come easily. It is not a switch you can turn on or off. It takes time and effort.

 

[Janellen]

Changing self-esteem for trauma victims does not come easily. It is not a switch you can turn on or off. It takes time and effort.

Right, raising low self esteem is different than boosting regular self esteem.

 

[Lucycat]

but then she said that EMDR is supposed to be for traumas under 14 yrs old,

I have done EMDR for trauma that was over 30 years old, endured when I was a small child.

Are you speaking of your age or the age of the trauma?

Are you sure you and the therapist are meaning the same thing?

What do you mean when you say the therapist is sabotaging the session? Is she stopping it because it is not progressing to resolution? Do you mean intervention rather than sabotage?

It sounds to me like you need a frank discussion with your therapist to ensure you both understand your aims and objectives.