Alternative Dictionary Of Therapy (humor)

[Anarchy]

Insensitive piece of skin on the end of a penis:
A male medical practitioner.

 

[Deleted member 29920]

Good one, @Anarchy :tup:

Reflection time - the perfect way to get rid of a patient for a really really long time in the hope they'll just fix themselves.

Therapist's reflection journal - a safe way of expressing exactly how much you hate your patients without them ever finding out.

CBT - the NHS' "solution" to every psychological disorder under the sun.

 

[Anarchy]

National Institute for Clinical Excellence.

A deceptive/Orwellian name for a health care rationing board

 

[Changing4Best]

My therapist said she was going to help me get off of medications. She said that therapy can be an end all.

Result: I ended up in the mental ward, where they put me on more meds!

 

[Deleted member 29920]

NHS definition of "the near future" - two years to never.

 

[Ronin]

Narcissism - that disorder everyone on myPTSD's mother suffers from

Psychopathy - the disorder local exes do

Sociopathy - suffered by exes we hold extra grudge with

 

[Deleted member 19804]

EMDR: that thing with the eye movement that works in a set number of sessions. If not, you're "hanging on to PTSD and too afraid to let go"

 

[Deleted member 29920]

Oppositional defiant disorder - a patient who can think for themselves and refuses to take any more crap

 

[Ronin]

Conduct disorder - I have no idea what that teen's doing but I'm too scared to look out for them

 

[Recovery4Me]

Intermittent Explosive Disorder (IED) - useful disorder as quite billable with insurance for the recently engaged Therapist. Promotes continuance of sessions and allows Therapist to practice talking 'to' their clients instead of 'at' those patients. Thus inciting their anger becomes a non-issue.

 

[Lucycat]

A deceptive/Orwellian name for a health care rationing board

OMG - I first misread this as 'ironing' board. It might as well be!!

 

[Deleted member 29920]

Therapist burnout - omg, what happened to you?! I have no idea how to help you with that so I won't even try any more.