Recent content by Ash_3

Sorted My thoughts Into a box, Sent them away to Outerspace

Why do we keep going? Why do we persist with this deep torment and anguish? It doesn't stop and I can't accept it. The things that happened to me were unfair and I was just a kid, why does it feel like I'm being punished? Everyday is a struggle and I hate waking up to the same pain. I can't...

Thank you!

Thank you! I'm trying my best, it'll come together. It always does. I'm studying mathematics! My new roommate and I have hit it off really well and I have a few friends that are around. I met them when I was here last but COVID makes it difficult to stay connected, that in conjunction with my...

Hi survivor3, it's been a hectic time in my life. My mother was recently diagnosed with borderline by her therapist in rehab, but her therapist doesn't believe my mother could handle the diagnosis so she is unaware of her mental illness. I've been NC/low contact with her for a month or so but...

I can't say for certain since I am not her but I've come up with so many possibilities as to why she would do this. It's perplexing. It was dark I'm sure she couldn't see me, plus I just moved back to the area so she certainly wouldn't have known to be expecting me. It's a temple in a big city...

Today I drove 30 minutes to attend lecture at my church. I was so excited it's been so long since I've been able to go. I originally was going to go with others and then the plans changed so I decided I was still gonna drive out. When I got there I started feeling really anxious and stressed...

The last movie I watched was called My Beautiful Broken Brain on Netflix. It is a documentary about a young woman who suffers a stroke and struggles to grasp the language and mobility she once had. I found that much of the language she used to describe her plight went hand in hand with how I...

In a week I will be moving back to school, thousands of miles away from my hometown, the ultimate trigger. I should be excited and part of me really is. I'm going to be able to grow in ways I can't here. This is everything that I've wanted and worked so hard for the past 10-12 months but my...

2 weeks ago after talking with my psychologist I discovered that my mother sexually abused me and my siblings. I don't remember the extent of it because my childhood memory is faulty from the many times I dissociated being raised by an alcoholic/narcissistic father and a borderline/opioid...

The Wilted Leaf's Bargain My heart needs release Release... Release... Release... From the carried blame, And troubled shame That fight the way back To their rightful owners May the waterfall of grief Find relief In the reservoir Of its' tears

@TruthSeeker thank you for the space to share my words. I have many poems and love writing, but don't always feel comfortable sharing them with others. It's been so nice to read and experience the world through other survivors eyes.

Letting the Stones Go I live in a secret world A world in which I have to hide Hide from what? I ask myself The answer unknown I have nothing to fear inside But there is pain, A pain of remembering A pain of knowing How young I was In time I'll learn to Embrace that pain So I can relive...

@Survivor3 For the first time in my life my living situation is safe. The family that I'm staying with is a good thing I have in my life because it makes me feel like I don't have to go through this alone. I'm grateful for the people I met in my spiritual community. I'm grateful for my sisters...

Before the quarantine my mother was my hero. Now she's the woman who abused me for 12 years of my life due to her opioid use disorder. She doesn't want treatment, so I've had to cut her out of my life for my own sanity. I'm relieved, but also very confused. I feel somewhat grounded in myself, I...