Recent content by Bonsiren

@FridayJones I've been reading and re-reading your message and trying to decide how best to respond. I'm not really sure what sort of response you're expecting, but "aha! got you!" like it's all a big joke isn't it. The violent abuser in question is my mother's current boyfriend, and he turned...

The anxiety is coloring everything in my life. In October, I discovered that a violent abuser knows where I live. My residence was supposed to be a secret, and my partner and I have plans to leave the city and move elsewhere in the state. But those plans are temporarily on hiatus due to...

No, I don't trust the police at all. I was raped by the son of a police officer. The rapist's father did everything in his power to prevent me from accusing his son in public--because I am, apparently, just a loser who won't amount to anything and no one will believe me anyway. I used to live...

Right there with you. There is one man on this planet who can say those three words to me, and we've been in a committed relationship for a while. It was hard to shake those suspicious feelings, but he was worth it, and I did eventually. Still, his mother has been making a greater effort to...

It's my own policy to start early and start vague, since I was diagnosed years before I started dating. "Hey, you should know, I have PTSD." I do it around the first date. The rest of the details come when I feel like sharing them. Thus, my current partner has always known. @Seagreen Point is...

Every man my mother has brought home has wandered into my bedroom at some point or another--usually repetitively--starting from when I was seven. She's been calling me a whore and a home-wrecker since before my first period. She's been opening accounts in my name and letting them go delinquent...

I have to teach people who live with me how to handle me sleeping. If they stand over me, touch me, push on the mattress, or anything of the sort, I'll wake up with fists flying in complete fight-or-flight mode. It's easier and safer for everyone's noses if they just call my name from the door...

I was homeless for most of my adult life up until about a year ago. I felt like a huge failure, entirely worthless. There's not much more that made me feel invisible than sitting on the street, needing a shower and food, and watching people pass around me like I'm not there. Being homeless is...

I once had a therapist who hounded me for saying "my abuser." She would interrupt me every time I said it. She said using that phrase meant I was letting those people own me. I don't know if she was right, but her distinct lack of tact made me stop seeing her. It's hard to open up when you're...

I have mixed feelings about mandatory reporting. Overall, though, I wish the system were better, not gone. Several attempts to report the sexual abuse I was suffering as a child ended up blowing up in my face: the counselor called CPS, who sent a couple of workers to our door, who then...

I think what disturbs me the most is that it never occurred to me how violent and awful they were until I confided in my current boyfriend about them. I knew, on some level, they were bad. But I learned that most of the people I'm in contact with almost never have violent nightmares--period. It...

I've been living with PTSD for almost fifteen years. I grew up with it. My biological parents are directly responsible for my PTSD, and now I'm estranged from both of them. When I started to date, later in life, it didn't start out so hot. My ex-boyfriends were violent and abusive. I ignored the...

There's nothing wrong with establishing boundaries in a firm and understanding way. I can understand feeling responsible for everyone else's crisis and the need to be supportive when they're facing something huge, but you're not a therapist. Encourage them to seek out other healthy alternatives...

Some personal sexual details below: I have very similar feelings regarding my sex life. Before Boyfriend and I got together, I actually gave him a warning. My sex life is extremely difficult and inconsistent. I have long stretches where I am utterly disinterested in sex. These periods of time...

@Notsowild It depends on the person and the position. I work a lot with my district manager. He knows I'm a little stressed out, but he doesn't know about my PTSD or anything I've suffered through. No one else really knows that I'm stressed out. Since I meet with them only a few times a month...