Recent content by Curzone

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    Suicidal Ideation - Will It Ever End?

    I've been suffering with suicidal ideation for over a decade... Been close to doing it a number of times. Problem is, despite being on medication (Olanzapine) things have kinda got worse - I think about it day and night. I keep talking myself out of it, but I feel stuck in this circle of hell...
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    Beachy Head

    Hi guys, I'm okay... Sorry for the post. Had a weird few weeks - going through a "dark night of the soul" moment. I'm staying away from Beachy Head. Still on the downs - but somewhere safer. Just sleeping, listening to wind, trying to silence my thoughts. Thanks for the kind words...
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    Beachy Head

    I spend my weekends at Beachy Head waiting for the anger to spiral out of control, to give myself the courage to jump. I've lost all hope.
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    Anyone Else Here Parenting Small Children?

    I have a 4 year old daughter. The light of my life... She gives me purpose and a reason to live. Don't see her as much as I'd like to - wish I could be with her more often.
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    Living Out Of My Car?

    Yeah, please take care Smile. Wish I could be of more help. Being in the UK, I'm not sure what services are available to you. I'm sending my love from the UK and wishing 2016 will be a better year for you.
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    Living Out Of My Car?

    Hi Smile, Hope you're okay. I've recently separated from my wife so needed to move out of the family home. I was living out of my car last summer. It became too cramped (It affected my health - I actually got a DVT) so I traded the car in for a small second hand campervan (VW California). I...
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    Suicidal rage

    Sorry for what you're going through Junebug. How are you doing? I guess we all have some idea of what you're going through... We wouldn't be here otherwise. Although, ultimately only you really know your pain. It's difficult, and everything feels complex. And it's that complexity - the...
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    Music Therapy - Learn Guitar

    “Music has charms to soothe a savage breast.” - William Congreve I’m trawling for various forms of therapy and was intrigued to learn that learning guitar can alleviate the symptoms of PTSD. I pretty much need to listen to music to release my anxiety and anger, and I’ve always wanted to learn...
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    Other Betrayal - Cause Of Trauma?

    Thanks for the link Shimmerz. Pretty Hurts, oh yeah. I wouldn’t take the meds any other time. I know someone said that you get used to them over time, but is it normal to spend the day completely dissociated whilst on them? I almost spend the whole day in a trance. The day just shoots by.
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    Other Betrayal - Cause Of Trauma?

    No, you’re just being honest, which I respect. Actually, it’s the trait that I respect the most. That’s my main concern - how my behaviour is affecting those close to me. I don’t want to spread this like a virus. I want to give my daughter the best start in life. The last thing I want to do is...
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    General Ptsd And Gastric Problems

    Wow! So PTSD can be associated with these physical symptoms. It kind of makes sense… I’m really sorry to hear what you’re going through. This truly sucks! Nietzsche said that, "what does not destroy you, makes you stronger”. It’s the same as the Chinese word for “adversity” having the same...
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    General Ptsd And Gastric Problems

    About a month after displaying my first PTSD symptoms (about ten years ago) I started suffering from gastric problems. I had a cast iron stomach before that. Anyway, the gastric problems gradually got worse - I lost loads of weight and started passing blood. It turned out I had Ulcerative...
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    Suicidal rage

    Nice one. Thank you FridayJones.
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