Recent content by Mushy

  1. M

    It's gonna get better

    Been awhile, but life has been so busy I've barely had time to breath. A lot of changes going on at the moment (some good, some not so good) which is making me go nuts. Anxiety is crazy intense, nightmares, and emotional fladhbacks have been constant. This past week I've been struggling with...
  2. M

    Putting off grounding

    I totally relate to this! It's the weirdest thing to me that I have to talk myself into doing things and routines that I know are beneficial and once I do them...I'm like...why the hell didn't I just do that 5 hours ago.:mad:
  3. M

    It's gonna get better

    It's been a very hectic month. I've neglected my self care routine which wasn't an issue really up until the past week. Kind of have been on auto pilot and haven't felt connected to myself. Kind of like I'm outside of myself and not connected to my physical self. I have no real identity that I...
  4. M

    It's gonna get better

    Haven't had a lot of time recently to focus on myself as I have been busy being pulled in a million different directions. Been doing good at working in self care on a daily basis even if only for a brief moment and something small..like shaving or taking time to stretch. Nightmares are still off...
  5. M

    What is the bravest thing you have done lately?

    The bravest thing I'm doing at the moment other than facing my daily fears and stressors is starting my own business so that I can take control of my work life and free myself to enjoy not only my work, but my life as well :) I'm just getting started and I'm stepping way out of my comfort zone...
  6. M

    What is the bravest thing you have done lately?

    When bees land like that they are usually tired and hungry, so you were doing a wonderful thing. It's hard to plan for, but if you keep some sugar water handy you can give them a good booster snack and they will love you for it. I keep a small jar out back on my porch and a spoon.
  7. M

    Emotional ferris wheel

    I totally hear you, it's just the particular situation I'm in at the moment I'm not afforded a place to rest and I'm stuck in this repeating pattern :( It's not permanent...but will take some time to be free and in my own space where I can peacefully reflect. One day at a time :) I love the...
  8. M

    Emotional ferris wheel

    The best way I can describe my emotional experience is it's a bit like being on a ferris wheel. There are intense highs, intense lows and sometimes the ride gets stuck. When the ride stops that's when I panic. I really need to learn how to cope with the times when things stop, breath and enjoy...
  9. M

    I Realize That I

    I am too codependent on others to put value on my self worth. I spend too much time addressing the needs of others and not my own needs. When I do make the time for my own needs...I feel guilty. I realize that has to change and that there is no shame in taking time to love myself and to care for...
  10. M

    Have you researched your abuse?

    I find research to be very helpful in my own personal journey. I feel like the more I know about my own brain and how the abuse affects it, it leads to ways of healing. There are some tough moments and triggers along the way but in the long run the work I'm putting in now by learning more about...
  11. M

    It's gonna get better

    Been a pretty good few days. I'm getting better at working through the difficult emotions and memories. I have a better understanding of my triggers and how to work through them as they come. Meditation and self-care have been key and I can start to see the results of sticking to it and I feel...
  12. M

    Poll Did You Believe Your Abuse Was Normal?

    As a child I thought that it was normal and it's what everyone went through. It wasn't until my early teens that I began to realize it was wrong and not normal.
  13. M

    Is anyone else panicking about the world news?

    I stay away from news as much as possible. In my opinion it's designed and created to keep you fearful and on edge as to keep you glued to the TV. If I do watch any news, I also balance it out by searching for good news stories to read. They are out there, you just have to dig a little for it :)
  14. M

    It's gonna get better

    Been fairly angry the past few days, but have been doing a good job of not stewing on that anger and turning it into productive energy. Sleep is getting better too :) Been focusing more on how I react to situations and less on the people who are trigger me. I can't change them, but I can change...
  15. M

    Emotions & cptsd

    So I guess I felt it was normal being completely emotionally numb for days and then on an emotional roller coaster the follwing days. I thought that's how everyone operated. Now that I know that it isn't normal (for lack of a better word) how in the heck do you acheive balance between the two...
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