Recent content by samanthavad

So this might sound crazy but stick with me... My abuser kidnapped me, held me hostage and killed himself. Died in my lap. forward 6 years.. My life has been nothing but chaos and a series of unfortunate events. I don't leave the house unless to get groceries, i talk to one maybe two people...

I recently had someone get upset with me when I didn't respond to a text message. So I told them about how I let a noise scared me enough to make me throw up. and then had to try and quietly have a panic attack because I didnt wanna wake my parents. this bitch straight up told me I was playing...

I don't think we have anything like that here, in the USA but i can look into it. I have my pre-probation screening next week, does anyone know if i wil get drug tested there or not yet?

I do have alot going on. This isnt even the half of it. I literally have no permanent address, staying on friends' couches. Trying to get away from my toxic boyfriend. Like i said even the thought of having to quit makes me anxious. How do i get help with reducing? Im stuck between being honest...

what? no my lawyer doesn't care about my past abuse and is super unprofessional and judgmental. The courts don't seem to care about my past, if my lawyer even told them)

everything. My anxiety is a million times worse, I cant eat, I cant get myself to leave the house, I have nightmares, and more

I am currently facing drug charges due to my toxic boyfriend (see my other posts). They are trying to make me go to drug court and probation. Will me having a medical Marijuana card make any difference? I've smoked for so long I am literally terrified thinking about having to quit.

Yes I have talked with my lawyer and given him copies of my police report and statement from previous abuse and yes I am working with a counselor. They don't really seem to care. My lawyer said something about how he can control me and make me so something from jail. CLEARLY you've never been abused

I am(was) in a toxic relationship. I lost myself trying to keep him on the right track and out of trouble. He lied and manipulated me into needing him or relying on him. I always felt like I wasn’t good enough so I started being more like him and doing the things he liked, hoping he would like...

ugh you're so good at this stuff! can you please help me learn how to do that? I dont wanna live like this anymore.

I dont know how to stop living as if im still in an abusive relationship. I dont know how to stand by my boundaries and always end up doing things I don't want to just to make someone else happy or to avoid upsetting them. Im so weak, submissive and pathetic that it lead me to getting arrested...

I've wanted nothing more than to deal with/work through my trauma to heal from it but myself won't let me. I dont understand things, I can talk about it when its casually brought up in conversation but go completely blank while at therapy and asked specific questions. I hate it! I can feel...

I am too but I get shit from my family for it all the time. my mom says that I dont wanna be part of the family because I never come over.

my whole life I've heard people say "time heals all wounds"... yet the more time that passes, the worse I get. my trauma was 6 years ago yesterday. I couldn't just sit home and feel sorry for myself 6 years ago so i jumped back into life pretty quickly.. I ended up going back to school and...

why do I always feel the need to justify/defend myself for having sleep problems, memory problems, anxiety..? why I do things that I do and stuff like that. I feel like im constantly having to make excuses for myself and its tiring. people say "it's okay to not be okay" ... okay then why do you...