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That sounds terrifying. I'm so sorry.
I have had sleep paralysis, and I also get nightmares of the attackers, and related events.
I think it's normal that you experience this but I am sorry you do.
I have also definitely stayed awake due to thinking the attackers are near.
I try to...
Deeper blues can be more muting than calming. Everything gets "quieter."
Yellow gives me energy and makes me feel more cheery or less doom-y.
Pink or Rose I detect a low-level anxiety. For that reason I don't mess with red.
Don't know about green.
What helped me was to be honest in my body and affect when I started speaking and to NOT do simultaneous self-judging.
Rather than meet social norms of composure... I left all the inhibitions off for the day... And I still do this. If I start talking and tears come I let them flow full on even...
I just realized for the first time in some new way, that what happened to me is real.
I've been doing somatic therapy and I think it may have made room for my body to let in just a little bit more that what happened really, actually happened.
To me. To THIS body.
And I think that I possibly...
Being high functioning can be so lonely. More than others, we high functioners are seen as just fine and not in any turmoil and just look how we "can get out of bed, but you know Susie has it so bad she can't even get out of bed, so just feel lucky you aren't in THAT much pain..."
Yeah. Chip on...
You're not alone.
Welcome, welcome.
Let it all be known for what it is. Let yourself recognize the aftermath, and your incredible strength for surviving to today.
I recommend ... doxylamine succinate ... for sleep. It is OTC in the US often sold as Unisom but you must check ingredients bc Unisom has a whole line of meds.
It is an antihistamine. Non habit forming and no weird side effects. Take as needed.
I'm with you on the heavy duty stuff.
I'm also...
Doxylamine
Active ingredient in Unisom, but actually an antihistamine.
I use it regularly for sleep but it also gives me anthistamine effects the next day.
It doesn't cause me any anxiety.