Childhood How to tell if fragment, or brain filling in gaps?

Late 2024 I had a flashback accompanied by physical symptoms, and dissociation. It was a memory id always found confusing, but this time it came back with more stuff. Of very likely CSA. Since then have been in therapy, and a little more came back.
Until yesterday. I was in therapy when suddenly image flashed in my head, with feelings of discomfort, disgust and the sensation that what followed the image was worse.

I know that some times the brain tries to fill in the gaps, but wondering how you know for sure? This image/flash isnt part of the original memory

Thanks

It is so incredibly confusing when this happens.
But it is so common for trauma survivors.
It amazes me what we can switch off in our brains.
Up until the age of 24, if you asked me if I had experienced CSA, I would have firmly believed that I hadn't. Even fast forward to my 40s and I still thought I had experienced a couple of things. It wasn't until therapy that the rest came tumbling out.

For me, I think there is an inate knowing underneath the confusion.
I also think: why would you make it up? The distress is real.
It may be that some memories are distorted because memory isn't accurate. However, the main gist of things are there.
I know that I conflate two incidents together. Both were abusive. What I now can't decipher is actually which person did what because I've merged it in my head. But, ultimately, both people did something to me. And that's the issue.

So, whilst there may be memory distortion, my view is that it is unlikely to be an entirely fabricated memory.
The feelings about it are the issue. How you felt then and how you hold it now.

Movingforward10 said:

It is so incredibly confusing when this happens.
But it is so common for trauma survivors.
It amazes me what we can switch off in our brains.
Up until the age of 24, if you asked me if I had experienced CSA, I would have firmly believed that I hadn't. Even fast forward to my 40s and I still thought I had experienced a couple of things. It wasn't until therapy that the rest came tumbling out.

For me, I think there is an inate knowing underneath the confusion.
I also think: why would you make it up? The distress is real.
It may be that some memories are distorted because memory isn't accurate. However, the main gist of things are there.
I know that I conflate two incidents together. Both were abusive. What I now can't decipher is actually which person did what because I've merged it in my head. But, ultimately, both people did something to me. And that's the issue.

So, whilst there may be memory distortion, my view is that it is unlikely to be an entirely fabricated memory.
The feelings about it are the issue. How you felt then and how you hold it now.

Click to expand...

Thank you. Yeah, I was 42 when it came back.

I think you're on to something there - the inate feeling underneath it, and the why would we make it up. My therapist said people without trauma histories dont jump to CSA as a possibility...that there is usually something to it.

Thanks to therapy, I can recognise the disgust, discomfort and the feeling without letting it overwhelm me at this point.

InkStained said:

Thanks to therapy, I can recognise the disgust, discomfort and the feeling without letting it overwhelm me at this point.

Click to expand...

That is a massive achievement. Being able to hold space for all those difficult feelings without it overwhelming.