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i seem to get shit on even more often when i am mean and deceitful.

in my psychotherapy we called this, "ruminating." i believe i am rewriting the experience as i ruminate. i have wondered if it is a form of self-gaslighting. dunno if it is the same thing you are experiencing. just sharing. steadying support while you figure what it is for you.

i walked away from my child sex trafficking experience with "trauma induced amnesia." that was early to mid 70's. i googled the term to see if the term has translated to the 21st century psychobabble. the google ai told me the name has been changed to, "dissociative amnesia." i didn't bother...

hello bananabread. welcome to the forum. sorry for what brings you here, but glad you are here. i've done several rounds. they fit a recurring theme throughout my recovery from child sex trafficking, they were/are as helpful as i decide to let them be. many of my worst therapy experiences...

the very words i was looking for. thank you. even my dog and chickens push on a daily basis. the kids? hub-a-lub? the neighbors? often i even push my own boundaries. "ahhhh. . . what the hey? i'm gonna tell that co-worker what i REALLY think of her youthfully tinted hair." sigh. . . choose...

people pleasing is nowhere on my list of problems and i STILL find setting and maintaining boundaries hard to do. some things are just plain hard. this is one of them. i find that hard things are easier when i let them be just plain hard. with that radical acceptance in place, it becomes easier...

i pretty much do what you've been doing and keep on doing, even when it doesn't feel like it's helping. alas, loneliness is an itchy bug. maybe more like an infestation of itchy bugs. i just keep plying remedies until the infestation passes.

hello paul. welcome to the forum. i swear by the psychotherapy value of my relationship with animals, but i am not so sure of the "ESA" business and it is a business. i entered the theory work of animal therapy while seeing eye dogs were the only officially registered animals in the federal...

hello jory lea. welcome to the forum. sorry for what brings you here, but glad you are here. i noticed you made another post, but decided to respond to this one because it is more focused. i find that tackling my quirks one at a time heightens the odds of actual change. is it rude of me to...

hello again, sjin. welcome back. i know of tons of places/ways to pursue recovery, but long, detailed lists such as what you have posted here can be whelming. the odds of finding all that help in one stop is somewhere between difficult and impossible. unfortunately, there are no panaceas for...

that hard to describe something might have evolved into a cornerstone of my recovery. healing is an inside job. nobody can do it for me, not even the ones who are ready, willing and able. it would be great if i could have my own fairy godmother, too. no harm in wishing.

empathy, skin shedder. lately i have had the jimi hendrix song,"purple haze" stuck in my head. mix the color blue (democrat) and red (republican) and you have purple. with the current politics, "i'm acting funny and i don't know why. excuse while i kiss the sky." insert infamous guitar solo...

don't accuse me of experting, but as i understand it: in its natural state, hyper vigilance is a hardwired part of the survival instinct which heightens awareness and sensory perception. in a state of clear and present danger, it can be a literal life saver. if the natural vigilance is...

hello neve. welcome to the forum. sorry for what brings you here, but glad you are here. personally, i believe the dreamer always has the truest interpretation of a dream, but bouncing possible interpretations can help with the sorting. i kept a dream journal for decades as a therapy tool for...

empathy, ka. this happens to me quite allot. my father wasn't on that list because of estrangement, but i routinely find myself using politics as an excuse to increase my social distances from people i have mixed emotions about. talismans and mantras are my most effective therapy tools for...

oh my, yes. i wouldn't even try to share this stuff with the vast majority of my family, not even the shared traumas. way back in the 70's there was a psych fad which didn't quite make it to the internet. "healing as an orphan" is the moniker by which i started the therapy. it was designed for...

hello amy. welcome to the forum. i'm gonna side step that scary n-word and say that it a predominant ptsd symptom. normal? that's a setting on my washing machine, isn't it? welcome aboard. i hope you find healing companionship here.

hello confused duck. welcome to the forum. sorry for what brings you here but glad you are here. congratulations on having found the courage to challenge the secrecy. child sex trafficking survivor here. raging hypersexuality is one of the meaner psychosis from that experience with. my...

nope, never read the tao of pooh. but it sure generates some top shelf quotes. “When you know and respect your Inner Nature, you know where you belong. You also know where you don't belong.” i am a warrior by nature. my recovery wasn't able to progress until i gave up the fight. i was the only...

hello 18. welcome to the forum. sorry for what brings you here, but glad you are here. i hope that posting this gained you a bit of relief from the isolation of the position you are in. there are no panaceas, but those little bits of relief can add up. i also hope that you don't wait for...

the question of why one traumatized person develops ptsd while others can shake off the after effects with relative ease makes my ptsd circles on a routine basis. theories abound, but i have yet to hear a definitive answer. in my personal recovery, i have decided to let the mystery be. it is...

hello pete. welcome to the forum. sorry for what brings you here, but glad you are here. don't accuse me of experting, but i thought the charming abuser was something of a cliche. i support the theory that many sick people manage their sparkling community image by channeling their abusive...

hmmmmm. . . this post has given me a rattling set of flashbacks to the turn of the 90's when i had a snowballing number of clients, 2 beautiful sons and stress enough to rattle the cages of my child prostitution foundation fast and furious. at the turn of the 90's, ptsd was not yet an...

welcome to the forum. listening. . .

my psychotherapy for suicidal ideation was in the '70s, back when people were smarter than phones. we called those slow, tedious suicides, "a death wish." i had to do a web search to see if the term is still in use. it is, with some potentially useful information involved. in my own case, i...