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I hope you have seen your T in the mean time. There isn't a special topic called dissociation on this forum for nothing. There are few people on here who don't do this or have lost the ability. The latter includes me. Doing this I kept feelings and pain full memories from surfacing . After...

These guys are veterans.

I 'm an avoider. I avoid situations that might trigger me. There are days that I believe I can do something more than be at home. I venture out into the wild. Get into my car, drive on the motor way and I visit a nearby town. There must be a plan and an escape plan. Being in a shop that has...

Listened to the recording for the second time in the afternoon. Level of anxiety less. In the morning I went to a shop, which became a stressor from the start I entered. Narrow isles and a man who touched me while passing. I thought that listening to the recording would give me a bad mood, but...

With Exposure therapy you have homework. Doing this in small doses and not too often to push yourself. My homework for this week; listen to the recording made in the therapy session ( a rotten memory from childhood ). If you can every day and make notes about stress level. So I have to listen...

People who have a smile on their face should be kicked in the teeth. What is there to laugh? Imbicilianic idiot.

I realized this afternoon that I had to carry the big secret on my own. A child and teenager that carried such fear, shame and the secret that never could be told. Nobody knew, while I wished they could see me and help me. A lot of crying and releasing during this moment. I also realized...

I relate to and recognize parts of your post. When is something to much for me? I let things go on for too long too. I am learning through therapy at which point I get out of my window of tolerance. I need to stay within the lines actually. But this is very difficult to see where that border...

The only way is up by Jazz.

I;m working trough a period of abuse with my Therapist. I know this was from the age of 12 until 16. I have also vague memories of weird things happening at a much earlier age, but I can't put my finger on it. My memories are mixed up with each other. I said "I don't know which brother did...

If you don't feel comfortable and you voiced this to you T she should listen to you. I haven't had EMDR my T said it's not suitable for me. But I know a woman who has and she said it's very intensive and you go very deep into your trauma. I would consider another therapist, but would you have to...

I "signed" up for EMDR, but we should do CBT the T said. Than she decided that it would work better for me to do Imaginary Exposure because of my dissociation. .

Why is the bloody ffff*kcing hoover making such a f8cuking noise? Who was the arsehole/cnut that "invented" rape seed oil? Why is there everywhere so much noise? Why do you always piss in the sink? was one of the songs of the band AMP.

I don't even know how to describe the feeling, but with me it's something similar. I avoid people, who are concerned. They make me feels uncomfortable, they stand too far away from my reality. When I don't want to play happy go lucky and everything is going to be alright. It's 46 years ago...

It would have helped me when after I told my mother about the abuse, she didn't say; "are you talking about it again?" That she listened to me, when I had the need. She brushed it off as something that happened in the past and why are you not able to get over it? Just that some one listens to...

Reading a chapter in a book, with a man being accused of rape. Reading the word has become easier. There is not a scene starting in my head. That repeats its self. I am blocking it out before that can start. Speed thinking/blocking. I'm not allowing a stream of bad thought to enter my mind. But...

There is a forum called, the wrong planet. It's for people who are on the autism spectrum. It sounds very much to me that you might be on this spectrum. I also created a inner world with personalities in my head. A person inside my head that protected me and knew what to do and say. Confident...

No one was ever to know what happened. The things that were going on in my bedroom. When one of my brothers, R came into my room, I always held myself stiff. My legs stiff together, as tight as possible.. I didn't know what was worse, the smell or him touching me. He often rested one of his...

In 1999 I emigrated to Ireland. It was a home coming. However, I am not Irish. In Ireland I felt save and at ease. In my home country I was a totally different person. Introvert, unable to keep a job and nearly constantly living in a kind of dream world. In Ireland this continued. I had...

I had a good laugh last night, reading some posts on the You have PTSD tread. I hadn't laughed like that in a long time. The things I recognized there in myself. Yes, I also talk to myself. I decided to go on a spin on my bicycle instead of going for a walk today. The sun was shinning and I...

When you start believing you have autism, because you have social anxiety and get overstimulated when you hoover the living room. When you do tests online to see if you have adhd, autism, altzheimer, or a combination. When you go on a forum at 1.13 am. You run through the supermarket to do the...

I wrote the date of the day on a sheet with above it: locked door. Than I only have to check the door once before going to bed. And the times I got out of bed. But now I stopped doing this. Wait, I'll check if the door is locked. It actually did work.

Have you ever contacted a social worker? I understand from reading, that the relationship between you and your parents was good, once upon a time. I think this is something that is way beyond your and your brothers psychological abilities. Things are not going away by writing and ranting on a...

Just finished a phone call with the housing company. They rang after I contacted them via Whatapp. There is a new contract with a new maintenance company starting the coming months. Now the housing C. is going to arrange for this new mc to notify me when they 'll come to my street. So I can...

Nearly a decade ago I got feelings of anxiety, while there was no reason. The whole day it was there, every day. It sat there in my stomach. I don't know how much your friend knows why you're in therapy. It's up to you to tell her, when you're ready. For outsiders its hard to understand what...