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Escape routes & escape plan. Absolutely. At all times. Know where your support and backup is, or better yet, keep them around you if he is in proximity.

After rereading your post. More specifically to your questions: How to deal with him? I suggest you stand your ground. As previously stated, honest, simple, concise and firm. Don't take any b.s. That's where your other question comes in - emotional detachment. This really requires practice...

Couldn't agree more. Silence = guilty in other people's eyes. People today are gullible, stupid, and thrive on gossip. Speak up for yourself. The high road is being 1) honest 2) simple 3) concise. Don't elaborate or mudsling. Don't stoop to his level. A simple sentence or two stating he is...

Thank you. Maybe not "happily". But "is" nevertheless. A lot of work and pain to be around that one is.

When his ptsd is triggering he will most likely act like a wounded bear backed into a corner. Attempt to console him and you may get your head bit off. When the moon is no longer full then Mr Hyde may return and Dr.Jekyll may disappear for a while. Or maybe not. How do you know when he's...

Thank you for sharing. I hope he gets help. I hope you do as well. It's hard to move on or make decisions which way to go. It's also a reminder to me that my actions have an impact on those in my life, especially those close to me. Ptsd doesn't give me license to hurt others and I try to keep...

I hope things improve over time for you. I know you are trying hard. Change is painfully slow sometimes. I've had to look very deeply inside to find answers and even deeper to find the strength to hang on and make changes (or wait for them to happen). Part of my problem has been the fact that...

@Friday. That was put very simply and accurately in my opinion. It describes my thoughts quite concisely. I would not minimalize this either. It sounds like a deeply buried safety mechanism that your mind pulls out when you feel closeness toward somebody, "warning" you to keep your distance...

:hug:

Most of the "success" stories about people that I have ever seen are about people who have endured hardship and overcome it - and never became just a "minion" in society as a result of it.

I think you have knowledge and skills and life experiences that place you far above most people. You seem to be stuck judging yourself by the standards that our superficial society likes to use, labels that they like to place on us, and its easy for them because they like to quantify everything...

I would agree. And based on changes that are ongoing in my life and relationships it is an ongoing process that always requires vigilance and adjustment. Learning to "walk the walk" not just "talk the talk"" applies to me completely as well. Changing ingrained habits does take time and effort...

Thank you Mal bunches and bunches. I've missed seeing you around lately - partly cuz I've been isolating and angry at the world some myself. But your message here reminds me of what my life is all about and what I enjoy doing. I really do enjoy slowing down and getting out of the "mow'em down...

Good luck again. Put up the barriers. Divert your attention to positive people and positive things in your environment and away from her and her neediness. Eventually it will become habit and as it does she will drift on to someone else that she can victimize. Take care!

What you describe is for me also a difficult situation. I'll describe me, perhaps you might relate to something I say. I am a very empathetic person so I am attuned to perceive other peoples' emotions rather easily. I am working on learning not to react to what I "perceive" to be "their" needs...

I agree. Love trumps all. Can you spend some time with her? (The daughter) Just hold her hand? Read a book? She needs a lot of time and TLC. I don't know enough about the other stuff. You or Mom or anyone else that can just be by her side and keep her company. Prayers and hugs.....

Good points all. Please, lets not quibble or pick nits. I can add little of substance to what Friday or others have said. All things and places are relative. If the conference were being held in Syria or Columbia, I would likely not go. The people of the United States have not changed simply...

Tough spot. Anxieties are tough to trace even if there is a cause. Sometimes I think it's just misplaced endorphins or adrenaline. I can't always figure it out. It is nice when we can, but even then that might elevate the anxieties more while we work on the solution. I've beaten myself nearly...

"You will only pet me when I say you can." "Don't even touch me unless I give you permission." Some of the looks I get from the cat..... Non verbal communication. That cat can say more with her eyes than most people do in a lifetime. And just when I think I am DONE with her she says: "Okay...

Gracie has the same look as Smuckers: "Oh, this is so much work putting up with a human. And by the way, where are my treats?" Or, "You haven't pampered me nearly enough, let's get on the ball human."

Absolutely. .....you should write and read and cry here whenever you want. I'm a 60 year old man. I do. Really really very few rules. Just stay safe. :tup:

Sounds like very normal fear to me. The mind just goes places like that. It is very very difficult to pull the facts away from the fears and make purely logical sense of everything. Our minds are designed to do different things so we see and imagine and feel all different things - not always...

The first part of the journey starts with the first step. If you don't take that first step, it doesn't start. So, now you are way ahead of me in expressing yourself. And I've been here almost a year. I don't feel like a failure though. I'm just moving at my speed. Slow. And I haven't...

How are you today? Your aunt sounds like an amazing lady. 91 and still knocking down the casinos. I have longevity in my family line too. I'm not sure if I consider it an asset or a curse, don't know if sticking around that long is necessarily what I look forward to either. Thought I'd drop in...

Nah. Never too much "yuck". I'm 60 going on 6 myself. Slooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooowly getting past stuck. But I do have good moments today. I even allow myself to enjoy them and feel good sometimes. It's a nice feeling. But the "yuck' always seems to be lurking. If I stay positive for...