Anxiety Is Killing Me

[Naive_Pixie]

So I discovered this site a wee while back, I have lurked around in the shadows on and off, and haven't been around for the past few months for various reaons.

Recently I've been through a bit of stuff and for some reason I'm now suffering from really bad anxiety attacks. It's not fun and I'm really struggling to deal with it.

I crashed my car last week on my way home from work - trying to avoid running a bunny rabbit over. There were aspects of it that were completely on me. I'm lucky to be alive, and I've sustained a delayed concussion. Being a sufferer of complex PTSD that involves extreme multiple traumas, it definitely has raised a few other things inside my head but they all seem to be really vague yet they're affecting me physically if that makes any sense.

So far as therapy goes I finally found a new therapist, was meant to see her yesterday but she was sick, which was really disappointing for me even though I knew it was not her fault. Basically just stuff that shouldn't upset me does, my head is making up stuff but I can't decipher what it is or where it came from let alone try and put it into words.

If anyone's got any way of dealing with this or understands what its like or whatever I'd appreciate any help. I'm seeing my therapist on wednesday next week thankfully but it feels like forever away.

Love and light

Pixie

 

[elektriknathan]

So I discovered this site a wee while back, I have lurked around in the shadows on and off, and hav...

Hope you can stabilize and make a recovery even
I too have horrid anxiety
What works for me is trying to be present and letting go but I cannot imagine what you have been through
Sending you some electronic hugs
My heart goes out to you

 

[Friday]

If you haven't come across this, yet... It's my absolute favorite tool on my belt

The PTSD Cup - Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Explained

Whenever my symptoms are ramping up? I'm not going to be able to magic wand nix them... But lowering my stress / venting what's going on... Will lower my symptom set & make things more manageable. Stress management is just so key, with so very many things.

 

[GrayOwl]

Tough spot.
Anxieties are tough to trace even if there is a cause.
Sometimes I think it's just misplaced endorphins or adrenaline.
I can't always figure it out. It is nice when we can, but even then that might elevate the anxieties more while we work on the solution.

I've beaten myself nearly to death during these episodes and today I can say I am able to bypass them, probably mostly because I've gotten a bit older and don't have the energy.

But also I have found good coping mechanisms, some good understanding that they are mostly temporary and self inflicted and DON"T NEED to always be reacted to - or acted upon. Yes, if my car is stalled on the tracks in front of a train, that's obvious. Anxieties properly propel me in to action. But most of mine were just heightened awareness sharpened in to acute tension and anxiety.

I have a support group, a couple strong people who understand my condition (like a T, doctor, or mentor), and no matter how much I wish to avoid them, I keep in contact. The more anxious I am, the more important to keep them informed. One of them checks on me when I isolate, a true friend with compassion and understanding, the likes of which are nearly impossible to find. I also find service work - returning this same concern and compassion toward the well being of others strongly helps me cope with my anxieties and makes them go away. Seriously - I make an active effort the worse I feel. Just taking time to listen to someone for twenty or thirty minutes. It seems to help me more than it helps them. So it's a good thing.

I've also found a close friend on here and we communicate most every day. Instead of the highs and lows and roller coaster like ride through life that I used to be on, life is a pretty mellow even keel today. But most of that has come from being patient with myself - understanding and accepting that I am this way, that it can improve, that it is okay to be this way, and that through meditation, calming exercises, passage of time, good friends and support, I can find ways of staying calmer each day, each hour.

I can't tell you how important being here as a part of this website has been for me. The information, support, and amazing acceptance that I find helps me through. It's like a vitamin, keeps me goin.

And sometimes those anxieties just really bite. I am sorry for your distress, hope it improves soon.
Reading, a bowl of ice cream, some comfort foods or activities.....might help. Wishing you calming seas.

 

[BNeal]

So I discovered this site a wee while back, I have lurked around in the shadows on and off, and hav...

Pixie,

With the physical as well as emotional things going on may I suggest. Baby steps, one thing and one thing only at a time. Sometimes it means breaking it down. Brush your teeth, without the next step of brushing your hair in mind. Try to keep the focus on the moment, not the next ten. Sounds simple, but it does help. Good luck next week and you can do this.

 

[Ellie]

Hope you can stabilize and make a recovery even
I too have horrid anxiety
What works for me is...

I don't know if it's useful or not but what I myself have found helpful is an understanding that you have these three parts of your brain: the reptilian brain (primal part: related to animal instincts such as fear etc), the emotional brain, and the logical brain. As we grow up we transition from being mostly in our reptilian brain and emotional brain as infants, to being able to use our logical brain to build resilience and help control our responses to stimuli...

As I understand it, people living with PTSD, particularly complex PTSD, have a tendency to use mostly their reptilian brain - essentially we're stuck in flight or fright mode most of the time. So the trick that I have found, is that the more you focus on the reptilian brain and try to fix it, the more power and energy you give it, and it tends to just take over even more. This is essentially because you are still behaving in fight or flight mode by attempting this. I have found that with training, pushing myself to use the logical part of my brain when triggered (ie. rational thinking in a trigger moment (eg how bad is this really on a level of 1-10?), stopping myself from catastrophising, giving myself options, being kind to myself, patience etc) has overall helped to create healthier neural pathways in my brain in response to triggers, and as a side effect, the unhealthy reptilian based flight or fright neural pathways begin to get dimmer as you tread another pathway more and more.

It's almost like, rather than constantly fighting or trying to run away from the anxiety, you instead put your focus onto positive alternative solutions to triggers, and the anxiety subsides by the by.


That may make no sense at all, but it has worked well for me so far anyway, so thought I'd give it a shot at explaining.

Hope you feel better soon, I know how horrid anxiety can be

 

[Freedomfighter]

Tough spot.
Anxieties are tough to trace even if there is a cause.
Sometimes I think it's just misplace...

Good post about those anxieties, sometimes I am just not interested in acting on them, all hell can break loose, I don't care. So many days I am dealing with triggers that are rooted in childhood right along with triggers during an abusive marriage, interspersed nicely with some additional trauma from stalkers. A poisonous mixture like that just fills my brain with toxic fumes, then I get into several triggers at once and I don't know what the hell is going on. Then anxiety sets in and I then I want to figure out what the hell is happening and then I notice there are gaps in my memory that I want answered, and then I notice I am just about ready to scream....