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I listen to those positive vibrations videos on YouTube. It's like 3-7 hours each of meditation music. Or I listen to the Grateful Dead (hence my misquoted handle haha). I like their live shows the best. There's a whole archive but I also have CDs. I play music and sing along to the piano or...

@whiteraven I haven't had good luck with Upwork. Everything I've applied to and got a message for was a scam :( I'd be interested in editing and proofreading! I already edit and proofread my friend's stories, and I was a writing tutor for a while too. I also love sales! I like building...

Thank you for your response @whiteraven ! I love to write, that's my main hobby, and I could try to find something doing that! I've applied to quite a few jobs for that, but haven't gotten any interviews or offers. I don't know if I would love writing for business, I do enjoy writing copy but...

Something I really struggle with with both jobs, appearance and almost personality (I was diagnosed with BPD) is commitment and consistency. Some things I can commit to easily, if I'm passionate about them. My small business I worked for 17 years, and I've committed to creative hobbies as as...

Thank you @shatter eyes yes it's scary! Lavender is the best haha

Thank you so much @lostforgottensoul ! I’ll go to my state, I’m sure they have something. I have connections at a chamber of commerce who may have some info too. Thank you!!

We just got a stay at home issue ordered today. Got a text on our phones too, really weird. With the blaring alarm and all. My business falls under what's considered essential, but I don't have letters or paperwork because my business is just me so I don't really know what to do. I only have one...

Trying to do schoolwork or think it's important right now feels futile. I feel like I'm pushing a boulder up a hill. I don't know how to get it done when none of it gets in my head.

I did slightly better yesterday, but today woke up anxious. Then I had to call CVS for a refill and they hung up on me!! I was so upset, but I calmed myself down. I only have to call them to make sure they don't mess it up, like they have for months. And then they hang up on me. It's so...

that's really helpful thank you @Ronin !! And it's just temporary, it'll be over in a week or two.

Thank you @Ronin I just unplugged the social media for a while, and am going to focus on things that make me happy and feel safe. I still have until Tuesday to turn in my schoolwork so I can technically take a break on that. My job applications wouldn't sound too great right now if I tried...

Thank you for your response @Ronin . The times I don't spin all the way down is when I 1. don't drink at all 2. drop everything and just lay in bed and watch movies and such 3. disconnect from social media. I haven't been drinking so I won't fall all the way down. I also take extra CBD etc. and...

I get this emotion sometimes, when I'm REALLY low and I'm usually giving into bad habits, where it's like this swirl of darkness and all the horrible emotions I feel. Anger, sadness, hatred, disappointment, it all hits me at once and usually how I deal with it to make it go away is self harm...

My doctors think I may have EDS as well! Laughing so hard at your gaydar joke--my gaydar and my EDSdar are both incredible haha!

thank you @Mach123 :) It's just this never-ending balancing act and now that I'm stuck with them I can't deal with it anymore. We're been under essential quarantine for the last two weeks and I'm losing it. I've already relapsed into self harm twice. They tell me not to worry about finances or...

I've been applying to jobs with no avail, no progress. When my family heard there were going to be checks sent to each of us, my dad automatically assumed I would give him my check. Didn't even ask me. "Yeah so we're going to have about 3600 coming in so that should help." He's stolen bonds from...

Thank you for your response @Questioning !! It’s just a rough time right now. I know a lot of people are experiencing this right now, especially those w PTSD and other serious mental illness. But it doesn’t feel real until someone says it to you personally. I dunno haha. I hope you can start to...

I'm in school right now and classes started this week, luckily I'm already online so I didn't have a dramatic switch. They feel absolutely pointless (they usually do to me, it's a degree for money LOL). I couldn't care less. The depression just keeps getting worse as more people cancel walks and...

Thank you all. Today it was better until around noon. Right now I’m really feeling it and almost just laid down for some time but realized I’m not really tired. I have schoolwork to do and frustrated with the whole thing.

@Ronin the anxiety hypomania mix I got down pretty well for the most part, other than relapsing on self harm recently. It’s probably the one I experience most. I usually do a lot of no-phone time periods and I play music on something I can’t contact people on lol (long way around saying record...

Today I just...am done. Depression is overwhelming. My whole body feels fuzzy and achy at the same time, so does my brain, and last time I felt like that I got the flu, so obviously I'm also PANICKING that I'll catch COVID19, or even the flu again like last year. Most of my business was...

Lots of stress, especially with recent state orders, but I've been setting boundaries and logging out of social media and checking out of conversations when I can't handle them anymore. I'm trying to think of the positives: this lull in business will allow me to transfer to my preferred...

Thank you @scout86 ! It's been a little better over the weekend and through this week. I had a really bad breakdown over everything but I've recovered mainly. The anxiety with this virus stuff is just so bad.

I’m really at my breaking point. I want to self harm or just die so badly. I’m having repetitive thoughts of self harm. And this virus doesn’t make anything better with money. Like I feel like I’m never going to get out of this hole because it’s up to me to do it and I’m so depressed and anxious...

@scout86 i guess I’m just sick of their mistakes affecting me. They stole money from me (bonds) to pay for our house stuff, and they owe me so much from helping them. I just help them bc I have nowhere to go. I could move in with my aunt and uncle but I know eventually I’d have to move. Rent...