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yeah. that makes sense. i guess i could just take it at face value as the basic definition, and i tried, but because it was in reference to my brain and its dysfunction i am overanalyzing it and wondering if i will ever really truly make it out of this mess. i haven't really told him everything...

my therapist just told me my case is complicated. my substitute therapist said my case is complex. my psychiatrist said my case is complex. i know my therapist and psychiatrist have diagnosed ptsd but no one has used the phrase “complex ptsd.” i don’t know if that’s what they mean. if that’s...

does anyone else have good weeks and it gives you a false sense of security? i have had a really rough few months with ptsd and the past couple of weeks were very bad for me, where i wasn't sleeping much at all and the insomnia was exacerbating every symptom i have, including leading to panic...

yeah i guess what i mean by hallucination is that there are sensory and emotional elements that make you feel “back there” even if you know they are not because you can see clearly where you are. which is different than watching the rape in your head. i hope my therapist understands what i mean...

this post is old but i feel this all the time. i move to a new place and in a year (at the latest) am ready to move states again. i fantasize about quitting not only my job but my entire career path and just going. i feel disconnected from society, like i don’t belong here and never will. i...

it’s so weird. i’m similar in that i want to understand. i do get their point that it doesn’t matter. i can see t1’s take but at the same time i feel like it’s a flashback when a hallucination is involved. the hallucination is really scary and distressing in a different way than a very vivid...

yes i think this is a helpful way to think about it. i felt emotionally and physically there but my conscious brain and sight were in my room. i think i will use the straddling metaphor to tell my therapist about it because it’s such a weird thing to describe. thanks.

thanks. i didn’t realize that it can be partial like this because that’s not how it was described to me, i thought you literally had to feel back in time.

yeah that makes sense, that sometimes it’s just one sense? i just don’t understand what happens. last night was the worst one yet, i felt i should take tylenol for it, i felt upset and nearly cried, i don’t know if this means that bed is a trigger or what and i am scared to tell my therapist...

but are they flashbacks? is that what you would call what i’ve described? i feel like i am being raped and i feel the distress but i still know where i am.

oh that’s interesting. i do remember some of my sexual abuse in detail and also know that some things happened despite not having access to them. however i know these are sensations related to a specific person because the feeling is uncanny and the second the pelvic pain started i started...

yeah the vaginal sensations/pains are mostly gone now but ofc it’s now 3:30 am and i’m all wound up, so i took a klonopin. but i don’t know how an hour and a half passed so quickly from my post. i was just lying there. maybe i dozed. what happens to you sounds really terrifying. i’m sorry. i...

can someone help me understand the difference between tactile flashbacks and ‘body memories’? is the latter a real thing with evidence? one night in bed i started feeling tingling and pain and other sensations like something was entering me vaginally and now every night in bed i experience the...

thanks everyone. i’m not hypervigilant (or whatever insanity this is) to this extent 24/7, usually only at night and not every night, but when i am it is really wildly exaggerated like this, where i start seeing and hearing slight stimuli that aren’t there, or in this case feeling like there is...

i’m lying in bed scared of the dark like a child. i need the light of my phone. whenever i turn it off i feel like i can sense things in the darkness with me. i even had an “intrusive thought” about something grabbing my ankles and pulling me under the bed. it makes me feel paranoid and crazy...

sub therapist pushed me a little today to talk about the past in a vague way because i think she’s trying to figure me out and now i feel worse. i don’t know why i just can’t say no or assert myself and just say, i would rather just get some advice because digging into my past even on the...

in the day i have been going on long drives to try to get it out of my system, hoping it will make night easier. i drive out far away and find a place to smoke a cigarette and then drive home so basically i drive like 90 min round trip to smoke one cigarette. sadly i did buy some bourbon...

it still feels like so much time is left. weeks left. i also have a hard time opening up so i’m basically just talking with her about my current anxiety problems but it feels like i’m in a holding pattern and i have so many obstacles at work to cross in these weeks. i do love horror movies tho...

it feels like: just thinking about answering this question already gives me anxiety and gets my heart rate up because having to answer your question in depth or detail requires me to concentrate on how awful i feel inside and access memories of recent episodes, which could compound my current...

oh no. can you elaborate on how he did this? this is my first time in therapy and i really don’t know what makes a ‘good’ therapist. i’m just trying to trust him though i really do wish he didn’t go away for so long since without care i can’t really do anything with these memories but try to...

i am crawling out of my skin with restlessness. i try to turn this restlessness into something good and do something productive to distract from the feeling, but i can't concentrate on anything. i try to watch a show and can't do that either and just scroll through my phone. i just want to go go...

yeah i actually told my regular therapist about the crazy adrenaline rushes at night (about a month ago) and he basically said it’s a normal time for the anxious brain to get overwhelmed. this was my first meeting with my substitute, who is a complete stranger, but i wanted to tell her about the...

thanks to you both. i took a propanalol tonight because i had to teach a class and couldn't do so in this state and it helped with symptoms. i do have an appointment with a psychiatrist, but it is in about a month because he is so busy. i told my subsitute therapist and she seems confused by...

thank you. it is interesting how so much of our sensations are similar. yes much of my trauma history is sexual. sometimes the phantom sensation is sexual in nature (once i felt i was as if i was performing oral sex, or my vaginal area suddenly hurt and felt weird) but i wasn't thinking about...

thank you, yes i was wondering if it could be sleep related. the thing is i am sleeping, it's not severe insomnia, but i am wondering if it has just added up over a period and i have sleep debt. i rarely get over 6 hours because at night i suddenly feel so wired and awake. it's 3am again and i...