scared of the dark

[brokenpony]

i’m lying in bed scared of the dark like a child. i need the light of my phone. whenever i turn it off i feel like i can sense things in the darkness with me. i even had an “intrusive thought” about something grabbing my ankles and pulling me under the bed. it makes me feel paranoid and crazy. this weird sudden fear of the dark happens sporadically, ever since my relationship ended and i started sleeping alone, but i never realized it probably had something to do with my ptsd. i can’t believe all this stuff i thought made me “weird” has been ptsd all along. i tried an ep of bojack horseman which did make me feel better, but it didn’t really help, now that it’s over i am back to being afraid of nothing. i’m also having phantom sexual sensations/vaginal pain. i guess i should probably just take a klonopin. :(

 

[Deleted member 47099]

Hey, sorry that you're struggling.
I sleep with the lights on.
It relaxes me.
I used to try not to leave the lights on, but I can't be bothered anymore.
I got a nice bedside lamp and I've put it on the floor next to the bed so that there's no bright glare.
I don't like sleeping in the dark.

 

[desiderata310]

I go through intense times where I sleep with all the lights on and times I only have a nightlight(in the hall or bath for when I get up in the night which can be quite often. Heck, I usually keep a flashlight by the bed(very smart for emergencies anyway) and that helps.
I also fought with my self over having a noise maker for years but I finally bought and employed a white noise generator which has helped as well.

 

[DharmaGirl]

Are you seeing a therapist? Do you think this is a recovered memory? Maybe working on the feelings in therapy will make you feel safer.

 

[Tornadic Thoughts]

I use salt lamps or night lights in each room. I can't hang with harsh brightness. When it comes time to sleep, I use a contoured sleep mask (fits much more comfortably that the flat ones) so it still feels like total darkness, but can be easily moved or adjusted to allow some light in if necessary. If I'm outdoors and it's pitch black, a headlamp works well to help light the way. We bought a couple for camping trips and music festivals and they've come in handy for many things, indoors and out. Best wishes for some relief.

 

[Lionheart]

I recommend some soft, lighting or perhaps a colored night-light. I sleep with a bit of light on because I worry that an emergency will occur and I won't be prepared...(I even sleep in my clothes). I suppose it is because if hypervigilance from PTSD, but regardless, a feel safer with a bit of light on. Funny, but I am not the least bit embarrassed about it. To my mind, I am only being logical and if I am making a mistake, I'm erring on the side of caution.

 

[gealach]

I have a nightlight for the end of my room (long rectangle), and sometimes also use a battery operated candle behind my headboard. I don't fight the need for lights on anymore, it's just how it is.

 

[brokenpony]

thanks everyone. i’m not hypervigilant (or whatever insanity this is) to this extent 24/7, usually only at night and not every night, but when i am it is really wildly exaggerated like this, where i start seeing and hearing slight stimuli that aren’t there, or in this case feeling like there is a paranormal force in the room with me. for ex i had my ipad on for light and i was staring up at the ceiling when the ceiling and the wall behind me started to ripple, and then the ipad light went off and i startled and yelled and quickly turned it back on! i also felt someone sit on my bed next to me. distinctly felt it. i don’t get how this mild hallucinating could be hypnagogic as i was not falling asleep, in fact was too awake. but i really need darkness to sleep unless i go to bed drunk. so i downloaded an app for my iphone called NightLight which allows you to turn your phone into a nightlight with a timer. it might help you if you don’t want to keep your light on.

Are you seeing a therapist? Do you think this is a recovered memory? Maybe working on the feelings in therapy will make you feel safer.

i am seeing a substitute therapist until mine gets back from a 5 week vacation. how would i know if it was a partial flashback of a sort of a recovered memory? do you think the phantom vaginal pains/sensations coupled with the fear suggest it?

 

[Strangelongtrip]

I sleep with a light on no matter what. If I don’t I have sleep paralysis and I feel like there’s a hulking man in my room.

Also, love Bojack Horseman. So much. New season is AMAZING.

 

[Changing4Best]

I use night lights and salt lamps. For a long time I was also listening to calm music along with the nightlights, to distract me from my thoughts. I hope things work out for you!