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  1. M

    Changes at work have taken away my safety and left me triggered

    So, there have been changes at my work that have taken away all of the things that made me feel safe. Work itself can be very triggering for me, but I lucked into a really safe situation there because I was sat in a corner with my back against the wall and with a group of people that were warm...
  2. M

    Started to throw up in my sleep!

    I haven't had acid reflux issues in the past. But I have noticed that I get that painful burning when I feel afraid now, and that's new. When I was unpacking the dream it seemed that I caught a flash of a man I don't know who's face I can't see wearing a Members Only jacket and then whammo! All...
  3. M

    Started to throw up in my sleep!

    Yipes, people. So I was having a dream last night. Kind of a weird dream like we all have. I'm going along in this dream that was actually kind of a good dream when all of the sudden I had that burning sensation from stomach acid coming up my esophagus from out of nowhere while I was asleep...
  4. M

    Hoo-boy. just outed myself as no contact to my cousin...

    Hey, I don't mind tangents. :-) You never know what a difference your story can make to others. I'm both glad and sad that the article was helpful to you.
  5. M

    Hoo-boy. just outed myself as no contact to my cousin...

    I'm not able to post the link, but it's an article called "No Contact – The Scapegoat’s Last Resort" on Glynis Sherwood's site.
  6. M

    Cptsd sufferers relationship with siblings

    Growing up there were two of my sisters that were bullies. When I finally ended up as an adult with a CPTSD diagnosis my two bully sisters starting gaslighting me behind my back to my other siblings and my other siblings bought it. To the point of participating in a shocking betrayal of my...
  7. M

    Hoo-boy. just outed myself as no contact to my cousin...

    So, I'm No Contact with pretty much all of my siblings. I have a cousin who I explained what my family had done that caused the No Contact, but didn't really mention the No Contact specifically. She seemed supportive and so for the last year and a half I have wondered if she would also be...
  8. M

    Dissociation, i hate you!

    Thank you so soooo much for this. I don't ever have people talk to me with this level of compassion in my real life.
  9. M

    Dissociation, i hate you!

    Oh, happy day! Just heard from my attorney. All is well. Turns out that when the agency I had the deadline with says "miss this deadline and we will take serious action" what they really mean is "miss this deadline two or three months in a row and we will take serious action". OMG, I just want...
  10. M

    Dissociation, i hate you!

    No, you are a tremendous help. It's very helpful knowing that my experience is normal and understood. It means a lot to be able to express my fear and anger and shame and be accepted anyway.
  11. M

    Dissociation, i hate you!

    Thank you, yes. After the yelling in fear and shame last night I realized I can only do what I can do. Try to fix it today and go in to see my attorney on Monday. I'm just so embarrassed and afraid. You know, the dissociating itself feels like it's triggering sometimes. I know I had to check out...
  12. M

    Dissociation, i hate you!

    :-) Yes, thank you. So, I'm crying about it now, but maybe that's ok. I can't cry most of the time about anything, and I really need to.
  13. M

    Dissociation, i hate you!

    I really don't. I have friends here, but... I dunno.... none I would feel comfortable asking for that kind of help. I feel sad, too, because I really do wish I had a partner that could help me.
  14. M

    Dissociation, i hate you!

    I am so angry and panicked right now. I have a legal case going on and I am/was panicked for weeks that my dissociation was going to cause me to miss an important deadline, and that's exactly what may has happened. I told myself weeks ago to check my mail everyday in case there was something I...
  15. M

    My Health Issue Is Real, Your Cptsd Is Fake

    It's been a tough week for me in regards to my family. My niece had an event I wanted to go to because I want to stay in the kids' lives if I can and I like my SIL, but even something like that is triggering because it puts me in a place of thinking about them and having to be prepared...
  16. M

    My Health Issue Is Real, Your Cptsd Is Fake

    I imagine there is more than one of us on this board who have friends or family who don't believe their cptsd is real. This was brought home to me again today and I feel sad and angry and invalidated and isolated once again. If you are comfortable, could I get some words of support today? I...
  17. M

    Which Is Better? Good Sleep Hygiene? Or Rest?

    I must admit, that is the answer that appeals the most to me. I'm trying to get my entire schedule switched to days. I think a consistent schedule will help. I'm glad to hear that there are options and what works best is an individual thing. Also glad to know that I'm not necessarily slowing my...
  18. M

    Which Is Better? Good Sleep Hygiene? Or Rest?

    Hey, Allie D.! I'm a little lost myself! :-) I don't think you misunderstood. (Unless I've misunderstood the misunderstanding, m'self!) My initial question was whether I'm making my life harder by not getting up at the same time every day. But upon further sharing, it's clear I have challenges...
  19. M

    Which Is Better? Good Sleep Hygiene? Or Rest?

    Yeah, I will totally cop to doing almost none of these. Especially the screen time/tv time thing before bed. I'm afraid to go to sleep. I keep myself "plugged in" to other human beings via tv or the internet right up until my meds take over. It's like me saying, "Don't leave me! Don't leave me...
  20. M

    Which Is Better? Good Sleep Hygiene? Or Rest?

    This is another challenge I face. I work two jobs, one is second shift, so I'm not getting home until almost 10:00pm. Those hours when I get home are the only decent part of my day and so I'm strongly dis-incentized to take my meds at a reasonable hour so I can be asleep at a reasonable hour...
  21. M

    Which Is Better? Good Sleep Hygiene? Or Rest?

    Like so many others, it's very hard for me to get good sleep. It's very hard for me to get up on the days I have to work. On my late start days I struggle to be up by 8:30am, and then I have two early days where my alarm goes off at 6:00AM that are just brutal. Of course, I struggle all day...
  22. M

    I Would Like To Tell You About My Siblings...

    I grew up in abuse. My sisters were allowed to do whatever they wanted to me, allowed to say whatever they wanted, hit me, tear up my stuff, nothing ever happened to them. When I was 16 I finally couldn't take it anymore and I told my mother I wanted to kill myself. She yelled at me for being...
  23. M

    Sufferer Hello, Anybody Else Terrified Of Asking For Support?

    I just want to say thank you again to everyone. You all are lovely.
  24. M

    Do You Ever Feel Like Your Trauma Wasn't "traumatic Enough"?

    I recall I read somewhere ... Marsha Linehan, maybe?... that emotional neglect IS life threatening to a child. I believe that we know when are children that we are helpless and powerless and that our very lives depend on being protected and cared for. We know on the level of our primal brains...
  25. M

    Sufferer Hello, Anybody Else Terrified Of Asking For Support?

    Smiles and hugs. Thank you. Am tearing up a bit. That's a good thing.
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