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Hi guys, it has been a long time since I was last on here, I’ve been in a very dark place for so many years but now I am coming back to the light, 10 years on from being raped I have met someone. It feels like I am in a dream because after all the hate I had for myself somehow this wonderful...

I was discussing with my T a nightmare I had, I used to dissociate all the time when my memories started to return of my attack but it's been a long time since I've stepped out of myself. When we talked she said perhaps we need to finish the dream off (I didn't realize that meant an intentional...

Hi guys, a friend (who has had training) has suggested I try rewind technique. Anybody have any experience of this? She said I'm way to anxious to do it yet so need to work on relaxation first. Me and relaxation just don't go together, I have exercises to do everyday from now on to try to get me...

I have 4 free sessions left with my T and it has taken me so long to be able to trust her. I hoped there could be an extension or if I could find the money somehow see her privately. The charity said no on both counts, no extension & they have a policy where Ts cannot see people privately from...

My T tells me sometimes she wishes she could give me a hug & comfort me because I am not kind to myself. She is such a lovely person but any physical contact I find difficult, even with friend I have known for years. I wish I could be ok with it, but even hugs make me think of 'him' at work a...

I had my session in the middle of the day as I am working away for the next 3 days (which I was already terrified about) so won't make my usual evening appt 2mrw. My T asked about whether one trigger a few weeks ago resulted in the same feeling of pain as the start of my trauma. I couldn't...

When I am down and people try to make me feel better they say, "you're still young, you have your whole life ahead of you" (by people who don't know what happened & by the few who do) every time I hear that I have to fight back tears. I am not suicidal but this statement instantly makes me...

I'm feeling very ashamed of myself right now, last night I plucked up the courage to advertise for someone to take away my old oven (yes this sounds random, stay with me). It meant that a man would most likely come to collect it meaning I would be allowing a man into my home whilst on my own. It...

I found it particularly difficult after my last session as it seemed that some of the words she used broke through my barriers. I am very formal in my written description about what happened to me and my T is reading a little out loud each week (started this approach 2 sessions ago). When she...

I have an appointment with the Mental Health Nurse Consultant at the surgery I just joined, the first appt is a 1/2 hr long assessment. Does anyone know what they do in the Assessment & what a mental health nurse consultant does in general? I'm also scared because it's a man & considering what I...

I told my therapist I would do a timeline to briefly explain the events of the last 7 years but also to try & organise in my head when things happened. It can feel like such a blur sometimes. Well it took me all day Sunday after spending Friday pm to Saturday in bed with a migraine-it's the...

I had my fourth session with a psychotherapist yesterday and I just shut down. The first few have been kind of getting to know each other but yesterday she was more probing, encouraging me to 'open the box' I have kept locked tightly shut. I am not the kind of person who talks about intimate...

So a quick explanation, I have Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome which I was diagnosed with after I was raped. I started bleeding every day and was so uncomfortable with anyone touching me I waited around 9 months wearing a sanitary towel every day to see a doctor. When I saw the doc I had an...

I am due to start therapy with a Trauma Therapist in the new year and she has told me that doing EMDR would be a good option for me. Anyone done this who can tell me what happens in the sessions & what you experience? It took me 10 sessions to start to trust my support worker and we only have 1...

I went back to work on reduced hours on 13th August and gradually built up the hours. A month ago I tried to go back properly and it didn't work, my Dr put me back on reduced hours. Going back has been so hard, there has been and continues to be so much change. We have moved offices, had our...

I am struggling so much with emotions. I've been able to keep it together in the last 6 weeks of a work phased return plan, but only by eating non stop as soon as I get home. I've put on 1st 7lbs since going back to work and not I've taken myself off of my sleeping pills my nightmares are...

Hello, I'm not in therapy as in psychologist/psychiatrist. I have one to one weekly sessions with a rape crisis support worker. I've been trying to get to a point where I talk specifically about my rape and failing. She said that often people don't give lots of specific detail or explain very...

Hi, I joined this site a few weeks ago and have been familiarising myself with it. I thought it was time for me to be brave & introduce myself properly. I suffer from PTSD which was diagnosed on 27th March after repressed traumatic memories from the last 6 years started coming back. A month...

Tommorow my sick note expires & I'm due back in work. I've had 3 1/2 months off work after repressed memories returned from being raped 6 years ago. It has been such a traumatic time discovering & confirming the extent of my attack and the flashbacks have been unbearable. After all this time I...