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  1. I

    Trusting in therapist/therapy & inner child wants/needs

    I'm still in the stage of leaning how to not freak out when I try to articulate the impulses. I want to skip learning to live with that and go directly to articulating but it doesn't work out that way.
  2. I

    Fight mode. please help me find ways to pause!

    I'm having to learn how to let go of anger as well. I drive my scooter around in Taiwan and the drivers are insane here. I am learning to pause, and just tell myself to let it go.
  3. I

    Do you have maladaptive daydreaming?

    I was almost quite debilitated some years ago, and then just went on autopilot to get through the things I needed to do, including work. I have gotten a better therapist now, who specializes in trauma and have made a lot of progress. I still have a very difficult time working. I am teaching...
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    Do you have maladaptive daydreaming?

    I haven't read through the entire thread, but I read the first part and article linked: Link Removed It really expresses what I've worried about and what I feel is happening. This is going to have to come out in bits. This is how I deal with things these days. It's sort of a shock seeing this...
  5. I

    Do you have maladaptive daydreaming?

    I day dream a lot. It helps me stabilize, but I wonder if it's too much. I fantasize that I can solve all these problems and such. I know it's a daydream, but I wonder if I'm doing this because of the feelings of needing to be perfect. By solving unsolvable problems, then it allows me to not...
  6. I

    Overcoming learned helplessness?

    I've got learned helplessness by the spades. It's tough to overcome. I wasn't able to make any traction despite years in CTBish therapy. Now I'm in Somatic Experiencing, and seeming to make more progress.
  7. I

    Need for external validation?

    I am in constant need of external validation and seeking direct from others. It's pretty scary. At least I'm aware of it now and may be able to start working on it.
  8. I

    Managing high anxiety and busy schedule/job applications

    Yes, it can be really hard at times. I really can relate. I tell my therapist that I just don't know how I can keep going with it at times.
  9. I

    Fight or flight: i want to run from my life for no reason except ptsd

    I escape a lot into daydreaming, without really thinking about what I'm running away from.
  10. I

    Childhood At what age should children stop showering with a parent?

    I lived in Japan for many, many years and fathers will bath with their kids until the kids don't want to. That typically is about 9 to 12 depending on the kids. I agree that it's the intent rather than the action.
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    Childhood What I Saw, Heard, And Felt As A Child... It's Still With Me At Age 44

    It's tough. I didn't realize how bad things were in my family until I started having kids. I look at my two children, a girl, 6, and boy, 4. They are the ages where I have memories so I can compare. They get unconditional love. They are protected from the world. Their father doesn't beat them or...
  12. I

    Childhood What I Saw, Heard, And Felt As A Child... It's Still With Me At Age 44

    That's tough. I grew up in a really abusive family as well.
  13. I

    Sufferer Alone In My Ptsd

    Yes, we can relate. I'm going though a tough time right now as well. It's really easy to feel completely alone.
  14. I

    Panic Attack When Seeing A Child Being Abused

    Thank you. I'm American, and my wife is Taiwanese. Fortunately, the liaison teacher is fluent in English, very Westernized and agrees with me that this type of abuse is not to be tolerated. It's good to keep in mind how to present it to the owner. I'm leaning toward making the suggestion that...
  15. I

    Panic Attack When Seeing A Child Being Abused

    I saw a child get threatened with abuse today. I teach English here in Taiwan including teaching at a private kindergarten. When the children naturally get a little wild, the teachers punish them for it. It has bothered me from before, but last week I saw a teacher use a metal clip to hurt a...
  16. I

    Suicide Is Not An Option But An Unwelcome Invitation To Hell For The Survivors

    My niece just attempted suicide. I really would like to, but I think that it would overwhelm my wife and cause too many problems for my children. But damn, it would sure be nice if the pain could go away.
  17. I

    Childhood Why Is Childhood Sexual Abuse Damaging ?

    Yup, from what I understand that causes a lot of problems. My sisters were molested a little older than that, my older problem raped me when I was 12ish and my father would tell me about what he did with my sister, in full detail around the same time. That's caused enough problems. Everything...
  18. I

    What Do You Do When The Pain Of Loss Is So Intense...

    Lately has been really bad again, not just my son, but the whole PTSD. It's tough to put together good hours. When it gets really bad, it's tough to put together good minutes. Really tough and it's hard to put together seconds. Then you focus everything on right now. I meditate, although not...
  19. I

    Drinking Alcohol

    I would have described myself as a "social drinker" when, if fact, I was very proud of the ability to drink anyone under the table. Of course, I also caused a lot of problems for many people along the way, but I always thought it wasn't my fault. I think all therapists should have their clients...
  20. I

    What Do You Do When The Pain Of Loss Is So Intense...

    My son died in my arms. There were days and nights of sheer hell. The pain eventually does diminish over time. It helped me by talking to others who had similar experiences. People who had also had terrible losses. It is really, really hard. Your loss is terrible.
  21. I

    The Unbearable Pain Of Self

    Yeah, before. When the pain would be too much and there wasn't anything else which would help. I am feeling a little better today. I've got a new part time job. I teach English in Taiwan, and many teachers here have several part time positions. I think the stress had been building up for a...
  22. I

    The Unbearable Pain Of Self

    It hurts so much to be me. I hate myself. I wish that I could just die. I wish that there was somewhere I could go to escape the pain. I want to cut myself, to give me some physical pain which would be less than the emotional pain. I want to end the unbearable pain of being "In Exile." Oh...
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    Sexual Assault Reclaiming My Sexuality After Abuse- Help?

    Hi Belle, I grew up as a Mormon, in a really screwed up Mormon family. My father molested my two sisters and my older brother raped both me, my younger brother and some other kids. The only time my father ever talked to me about the birds and the bees was when he was describing, in great deal...
  24. I

    Have To Admit It's A Constant Thought

    OK, I didn't get that, and wondered if it were more directed at @Impossible. Sorry for the confusion. Talking about support, I find that most people are pretty worthless as far as support goes. I've got a friend with a serious heart condition, and people totally get that there are some days he...
  25. I

    Have To Admit It's A Constant Thought

    OK, let's try that again: I agree that solutions are simple in one sense of the world. They are also practical. I disagree that the solutions can be categorically defined as simple. If they truly were simple, then I think there would be less people struggling. Let me give an example...
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