Panic Attack When Seeing A Child Being Abused

[In Exile]

I saw a child get threatened with abuse today. I teach English here in Taiwan including teaching at a private kindergarten. When the children naturally get a little wild, the teachers punish them for it. It has bothered me from before, but last week I saw a teacher use a metal clip to hurt a child and today another teacher threatened to tape a little four-year-old's mouth shut because the kid couldn't stop crying.

I got triggered and had to leave the classroom. I talked to the principal through a teacher who can speak some English, but I can't handle it. There is a liaison teacher who does speak really good English and I texted her to set up a meeting on Wednesday.

This is crazy.

 

[Upside Down Eagle]

Sounds like you did all you could. Maybe you could talk to the teachers in question, but mostly people like that don't listen to reason. Especially when it's in their culture, I guess.

I know how impotent you can feel in such a situation though... :(

 

[Hashi]

If you're a guest worker in a country with a different culture from yours then I think you need to be very careful here. I don't know what your country/culture of origin is but it sounds like you're not from a southeast Asian country - is that right?

I imagine that two things are going to be important to your Taiwanese colleagues - the importance of socialising children (to the society they live in, which might be quite different from yours) and that everyone concerned can save face. I think you need to be looking for a "win-win" in both those areas if you want to have a positive impact.

How are you planning to approach the discussion on Wednesday that will be with the help of the teacher who has good English? Can you come up with non-confrontational ways to make your point? I've lived in Japan, have travelled in Taiwan, and I found that saying things like, "I'm impressed at how Taiwanese children learn things in such and such a way... I wondered if that could be used also when children can't stop crying" would get a more sympathetic ear than, "This is XXXXXXX."

You might need to bear in mind that "reason" in Taiwan might be different from "reason" in your country of origin. It might be considered more cruel to allow a child to grow up wilful (and therefore be likely to be ostracised) than to address their wilfulness at an early age. They could possibly look at quite young children in a Western country who are out of control, addicted to substances, breaking the law and/or disrespecting their parents and other authority figures, and feel that an emotional, too-liberal approach does a child no favours.

I'm not condoning what you've described. I'm just trying to point out that to make a point that your school colleagues might be receptive to, it would be good to consider where they're coming from and the social context as a whole. That way, you have more chance of striking a chord with those who feel that there's a less brutal way of disciplining/guiding children, that would still work in the culture, than the ones you describe.

 

[In Exile]

Thank you. I'm American, and my wife is Taiwanese. Fortunately, the liaison teacher is fluent in English, very Westernized and agrees with me that this type of abuse is not to be tolerated. It's good to keep in mind how to present it to the owner.

I'm leaning toward making the suggestion that class discipline be left to me while I'm teaching the kids. I'm the parent of two children of similar age and know how to handle them without manhandling.

I'm feeling much better today.