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Very interesting :) @Hope4Now i think you discribe the experience of an empath very well, and I'm totally there! My T says I have an overdeveloped empathic ability, and that this happens when your young and you must learn to read others well enough to try and prepare for danger. For me, I...

I have no idea where this goes, so move as needed. I just wonder what defines self harm? Recently I've been wondering if scratching, pinching, etc is self harm, and whether these things are exceptable/helpful /bad if you leave no marks, and don't draw blood. Weirdly, I guess I was thinking...

I find that what relaxes me is things that I can totally wrap my mind around, like art (in many different forms), puzzles, and even paint by number :). My T told me before that exercise is great but then it's important to focus the mind for 10 minutes or so after...calm the body, calm the mind...

@Justmehere you almost made me cry :) thanks for understanding and helping me understand what's happening to me better! It's still hard thinking about her not being there :(. Sally Sue

Hi @Solara, I guess I feel unworthy or that my problem arn't "real problems"...I grew up in a family were my sibs had real problems and mine were drama. I'm having a really hard week, and many nightmares, I guess I wish she was there but feel it's wrong to feel that need, does that make sense...

Hello all, I just wondered if anyone was in the same boat as me and feeling all weirded out about it? I go to kaiser permanente and my therapist told me last week that they were going on strike this week..she didn't want me to freak when I got a call saying my appointment was cancelled since...

Yes, @Casey_03 "I don't just feel weird when I hear "I love you," I actually get angry, because I assume it's a lie", that's how I feel too!!!! I can't figure out why I would feel angry and that makes me feel guilty, but I sure wish I didn't feel that way :(.

What is that all about???!!! When someone tells me "I love you" (like a friend or extended family) I go into almost a kind of shock :(. I know I want to be loved, to feel that others love me, but I guess at the heart of it, I don't believe them. I don't know how to deal with this issue...

Thank you all sooo much! You have given me much to process and think about! Through that I've realized that the experience was like I had been holding my breath ever since the trigger, or like I was a balloon on the verge of popping with no way to release the pressure without help...alone I...

Thanks @WillyKat but that's not quite it, it's not about being abandoned (although I'm totally aware of that issue too :) it's about my own inability to care for my emotional self, calm myself, to make sense of what's happening inside of myself, to take care of my own mental health? Does that...

So, I had a really bad trigger a week and a half ago and didn't have an appointment with my counselor until today. I emailed her for support and guidance, which I got :), but when I got there today I completely fell apart! We did some EMDR which really helped, but I don't understand why I can't...

I wonder if you're also maybe mad at your T and feel they abandoned you? My T just came back from vacation and as it got closer to her coming back I started to really hate her...I guess it's easier for me to turn away from someone then to bare them turning away from me. :( Sometimes I hate...

Argh! Well, maybe something's come up and he is not able at this time....it's good to give the benefit of the doubt.

@Jane.l oh my gosh! That would totally mess me up too :(. Are you going to tell him, via email or anything how you're feeling? I'd probably have to have an extra appt to get past it hahahaha.

My T is on vacation too, and there's no contacting her, but I understand that. Honestly, I'm so conflicted when she's on vacation...One, I feel it's important for her to have time off so she doesn't burn out, but I feel mad at her for not being there, and then as the days pass I start hating her...

Wow, I'm so sorry so many issues are coming up at once :(. I would definitely be calling my T! With health issues I try and remind myself that I am the same person I was yesterday, and that I am still worthy of care and love. I also find it's helpful to do something that takes my mind away...

@Go Hungry has an interesting point, and I wonder if your impulse to "fix" the relationship is based on fear? I find myself often trying hard to "fix" a relationship when someone I'm drawn to or an authority figure is mean to me...weird, I know :( unfortunately, I'm learning that this is a...

Foolish? No. It sounds like you're trying to do the "right thing" for you and your neighbors...that's very courageous :). Somewhere back in my ptsd struggles and education I was told that "courage" is being afraid but doing it anyway! Your landlord, on the other hand, doesn't seem to be...

I do many different forms, I feel "art" is a much broader term then most people think :) I enjoy working on complex crochett patterns, making "something out or nothing", drawing to understand how I'm feeling, sewing, painting, story telling, and writing and illustrating children's books...oh...

I'm so glad things worked out and you're in the other side of it :) Have kept you in my thoughts and prayers all day! I hope you have a peaceful day, Sally Sue

You got it!!! :happy:

@desiderata310 yikes! This sounds really frightening and stressful :(! I'm sorry you have to go through this, and I'm sure glad your T can go and be there for you!! Running is an excellent idea :) Maybe you could do some coloring, puzzles, crosswords, or dopey movie watching to help you stay...

@desiderata310 that's an excellent way of looking at it :) I hope I get the same nurse I did last time! She was wonderful! @Ladyghosthunter thank you for the reminders about being better afterwards! It's hard because it feels like so many people (mostly my family) think I'm making the wrong...

So, I have an upcoming surgery in 3 1/2 weeks to repair my ankle...long stupid story...anyway, I'll be in a non-weightbearing cast for 4 weeks and I'm really worried that my mood will plummet into dark depression and sometimes when I'm injured or have an injury I fight with self-harm urges :(...

Once I had a scarf and I asked my T to wear/hold it during our session, and then it smelled like her for a couple days, and when I was having a hard time I would put it on :). She called it a "transition object" I think and said it was okay. Just a thought :rolleyes: