Cautiously Optimistic

[desiderata310]

Had a decent-ish session last night during which my therapist pointed out that my fears about tomorrow are (while not unfounded) extremely coloured by my view of the world. I've been convinced that there was no way that anyone would believe me over him and grant the protective order.

I'm still hesitant to be too optimistic because I know that the world is not fair and usually favors the wicked but something he said just resonated with me. The judge would have to ask me WHY I would go to all the trouble of getting this order given the circumstance and put myself through the hell of court. He pointed out how terrified I appeared in court last time- so bad that the bailiff came out afterwords to check on me and try to offer comfort (which actually triggered me more haa!).

I had read that my therapist would not be able to speak for me in court. Today, I actually called a legal office and was told that I would only have to ask for him to be able to speak on my behalf and he would be allowed if he was there (and he will be- it's the only way I will go!)

It's the best news I've had in months.

I still don't expect to win. I am still terrified of going. I am STILL TRIGGERED ALL TO HELL. Shaking and crying but at least I know that my therapist will be there and speak on my behalf.

 

[Deleted member 20280]

@desiderata310 I started therapy again yesterday and was like you extremely Hyper-Vigilant and TRIGGERED ALL TO HELL.

I have every confidence that ypu are strong enough to get through this and my thoughts will be with you the whole time. Let us knoww how you get on.

Massive :hug:s

Laurie

 

[The Albatross]

I'm with you all the way up to the "I don't expect to win". It is more beneficial to frame it that way sometimes, but in this case, I would frame it more like "I am hopeful and cannot control the outcome but can deal with whatever happens" or something like that?

 

[Ti Vu]

That's good to hear. Taking optimism a bit at a time:) whenever you can. It'll add up. :) I don't know your story and can never experience what you've experienced, but, here's to justice being served:) and as @Santa_Laurie said, you are strong and we'll all be with you in spirit as well:) Well, I will be at least:)

 

[GWhizz]

@desiderata310 I am glad you have the support of your T through this tough and painful process. I wish you every success, and as others have pointed out, you may not be in control of the outcome, but you will get through this whatever happens. You are very strong bringing this to court and as your T said, it would be highly unlikely you would go through all of this if untrue. We are all behind you

 

[marylouise]

You are brave. Good for you for doing this for yourself. Even though it may not feel like it, you are speaking up for all abuse victims when you confront your abuser. We are all in this together. We will all be there with you tomorrow psychically, even if not physically. Please tell us what happens here on this thread. Good luck and don't forget to eat a good breakfast : )

 

[desiderata310]

Ugh! As the day has worn on I've gone downhill a bit. Taking my therapist's advice and going for a run. Thank you for the votes of confidence and the thoughts tomorrow. And yes, I'll try to eat well tomorrow.

 

[marylouise]

the world is not fair and usually favors the wicked

I struggle with this idea too, but not always @desiderata310 - @LokiBell reports that her abusive husband is going to prison for 15 years!

https://www.myptsd.com/threads/my-husband-is-convicted-of-trying-to-kill-me.45395/

 

[Sally sue]

@desiderata310 yikes! This sounds really frightening and stressful :(! I'm sorry you have to go through this, and I'm sure glad your T can go and be there for you!!

Running is an excellent idea :) Maybe you could do some coloring, puzzles, crosswords, or dopey movie watching to help you stay distracted a little tonight...just ideas :wacky: these are silly things that can help me.

Would it be okay if I kept you in my thoughts and prayers tomorrow?

Sally Sue

 

[desiderata310]

I would greatly appreciate your positive energies in my direction.

 

[Sally sue]

You got it!!! :happy:

 

[marylouise]

@desiderata310, just thinking about you at the end of a long day. I hope today went well for you.