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I get it. I each day is getting easier for you... ;)

Thank for your honesty. That is my gut feeling. I was thinking of just limiting convos little by little. Then just try to make it about how it'd be better for him...wouldn't have to worry about me. Hopefully he goes along with it. Good idea?

It's really hard because when we are together he quits shaking, we laugh, we talk about everything. We are even on the phone 3-4 hours sometimes at least an hour usually. But not being there to help him or see his face, or hug him, is hard. I think that's why the phone calls are SO important.

Sorry, I forgot to mention that we've only been together in the same place 2 weeks before he left. Then I drove there for 4 days over Christmas. We spent it with just ourselves. I probably won't see him again in person again until July. He's saving his time off for his sons wedding, which is 4...

Thank you all! He's usually in the US...he trains soldiers all over the country, however he goes overseas on missions at least once a month with his team. He always tells me before hand so I know what to expect. This time he was sitting in his apartment. I know he was depressed but I just...

Ok...it seems reasonable. Reasonable to us...I worry it won't to him. He says he doesn't understandwhy I doubt his love...but I don't doubt it, I just need more attention and he can't give it, even if he wanted to. If I say that to him he will feel SO guilty. I will feel terrible. S*%t this is...

We have been together 4 months most of which he's been gone on active duty. I was honest with him about my problems with separation and that I needed reassurance of our "relationship", especially because we're 700 miles apart (or further). He said he'd never let me go...etc, etc. He's never...

Honestly, I have no idea if anyone can convince him. It's not my job. I love him dearly, but I have had A LOT of experience with "damaged" people in the past and the only time they get help is when they want it..."hit bottom" so to speak. I will guide, but never nag. I had to decide on my own...

Yep, very similar, exact in some ways. Mine shakes constantly, unless he's in an upswing (hyper-vigilant) then he's overly sexual, will call 2-6 times a day through the night. Tells me how much he loves me (but today couldn't say he even liked me, depression - crying etc.). Keep a log of dates...

I'm a supporter with bipolar and long term trauma. I definitely cycle. My vet be "cycles" also...I can see it so clearly. I can feel it start with the intense hyper-vigilant state...then down and plateaus for a while at "normal"....then angry agitated...then depression...then back up again...

Exact words he uses...that I'm "the only one he has to talk to"...but what happens when he finds other people to talk to or other distractions? Loyalty vs. Convenient. I only give trust to someone one time, and I hope I don't regret it.

Feel free to PM me anytime...

Yeah Hush92! I'm glad you decided to try meds. They saved my life! LITERALLY. I use Lamictal as a mood stabilizer plus valium for anxiety. I'm bi-polar as well as traumatic experiences all my life (still have protection order in place). I hope you find they help...give them a chance, it...

Good idea! I'm not the best to give advice on people changing or getting help. It obviously didn't work in my last relationship...but thankfully, not everyone is like him.

More than a few days for you to get over her...but 3 days no contact would help get over the withdrawal period. Otherwise you're just prolonging it. Unless you think she could get help and change?

Blunt might be the only way. After 15 years of an abusive marriage, 3 different sessions of marital counseling, even me saying telling him that I wasn't what he wanted, he was still surprised to get served divorce papers! Wtf? was all I could think!! How much more could I have taken or have...

I would stay strong...you are so right about her working on her. Maybe not respond for a few days if she is trying to contact you. It would just make it harder, I would think.

Broken hearts will heal, but with a lot pain first.

I'm on meds and if I went off I'd be a basket case! I'm glad you didn't give in! She shouldn't have done that. I'm glad you had here to turn to. It sounds like you did the right thing. Are you ok with it?

I also I'm sorry. I also have trauma issues from childhood all the way through my adult years. It is hard to be both :( But I have learned to disassociate from that when I'm in other roles in life. Including supporter.

I'm sorry Saelben about your relationship. Was it a very long one? I keep myself in control of my emotions and not sit around waiting on him and wondering, worrying, etc. I tell myself over and over that "He is IN my life, He is NOT my life". I can't afford to lose track of time, and I'm no good...

He is scared to lose me, I can tell. I'm the only person he contacts daily. Today is a REALLY bad day for him. Day off from work with no one to be with. At a natural spring at a pretty creek...he's so depressed. I told him he's was a good man, that even though he couldn't say it back and...

No therapy, hasn't even admitted outright to have PTSD, but he's alluded to it. I just didn't push the subject. When you're down do you want to hear the things I said to him above? Or bad idea on my part?

It wasn't easy, but it made me feel special (should I say that?). He is depressed, and I I have figured time runs slow for him. I told him he was a good man. And I loved him even when he doesn't love himself...is that ok? Also said I didn't expect him to say it back...not pushing him. Was this...

He just called me, crying. I've learned so much from all of you already. My biggest insight is the "needing space" and that he thinks if he says the "nice" things to me he'll end up up hurting me. I thanked him for calling me everyday and I told I knew