Supporter My Introduction, I'm Glad I'm Here With You All

[Catching_him]

Thank you Saelben for telling me that I should "introduce" myself. It's nice to be pointed in the right direction :)

I'm not new to "Personality Disorders", but I am new to PTSD and to the military.

I am bi-polar (controlled), have suffered trauma, physical and mental, and have my own demons that I'm dealing with, just as we all do. I'm divorced (still is a messy one) with 2 two beautiful kids. My ex has OCPD, some similar traits as PTSD.

The reason I'm here is because I met an amazing man. He is a Master Sargent in the Army and is currently active duty. I met him 2 weeks before he left for duty. Our relationship moved VERY quickly to the "I love you" stage which he initiated...I was a little freaked out. He made it feel so right and real. I've noticed that moving quickly seems to be a reoccurring theme in this forum. When I asked if it scared him to say that so quickly he replied with "When I know what I want I go after it and fight for it, and I want you". Very flattering, at the time.

He gets jealous easily...I called him out on one of his tantrums about me going to a wedding dance for a friend; his response was "some women would find that flattering". I said clearly that I was not that woman.

Because my ex was so controlling and oppressive I have a pretty thick wall up, but John seemed to be able to get in.

After being with John for 4 months (feels like 4 years) the relationship has changed so much...up, down, left, right, and all around. But has never made it fully back to the early stages of "I love you".
He always tells me that I have to be here to "Catch him" when he gets home...that is where "catching him" comes from.

I'm here to learn and bring my own experiences to maybe help others as they will undoubtedly help me.
Thank you all for being here!

 

[ladee]

Welcome @Catching_him, hope you find the help and support you need. Your relationship sounds very complicated and I wish you both happiness and success... sending hugs if you accept.

 

[Deleted member 20280]

Welcome @Catching_him if I can be of any help to you please feel free to contact me by PM, I am a military PTSD survivor and a personal abuse survivor to boot. I send :hug:s from the Uk

Laurence Davey (Mr Laurie)

 

[Sideways]

Welcome - you have amazing insight to yourself and your relationship based on what you've said. I hope this forum provides you with a tonne of support to help your relationship blossom:)

 

[intothelight]

@Catching_him Welcome! :)

 

[Deleted member 28403]

Welcome :hug:

Hmm, from a PTSD perspective, I can say that everything happens a lot faster here, and time is really slow to flow... Week is a long time. And similar, while for most people a week isn't long at all.

Your relationship seems tricky... I hope it's not too much eggshells to handle and I wish you more luck than I had...

Good luck and hugs :hug: Hopefully it works out for you

 

[7Cs]

Welcome. :)
My husband and I didn't know I had ptsd when we met. I did have some of the symptoms but because it was several years after my traumas I didn't connect it. The worst of my symptoms were severe mood swings and I was initially diagnosed with mood disorder nos. We eventually found out it was ptsd (I'd say complex). My husband has been amazing for me. He is my rock, he is my catcher, he often knows where my mood is or is heading before I do. And I hate that he has to. I hate that he's seen those broken parts of me, that he's experienced my misdirected anger and has put up with my perfectionist expectations. That he's had to hold me while I've sobbed uncontrollably with my mind stuck in the past. I don't know how he's done it. He is the calm within my storm and I am so grateful that I found him.

Just make sure you take care of you while you're "catching him".

 

[Catching_him]

He just called me, crying.
I've learned so much from all of you already. My biggest insight is the "needing space" and that he thinks if he says the "nice" things to me he'll end up up hurting me.
I thanked him for calling me everyday and I told I knew

 

[Catching_him]

It wasn't easy, but it made me feel special (should I say that?).
He is depressed, and I I have figured time runs slow for him. I told him he was a good man. And I loved him even when he doesn't love himself...is that ok?
Also said I didn't expect him to say it back...not pushing him. Was this good or bad?

 

[7Cs]

Is he getting help as well? Medication, therapy, etc?

One of the things I recently learned in therapy is that I need to learn to catch myself and not HAVE to have someone else always be there to do it for me.

 

[Catching_him]

No therapy, hasn't even admitted outright to have PTSD, but he's alluded to it. I just didn't push the subject.
When you're down do you want to hear the things I said to him above? Or bad idea on my part?

 

[Deleted member 28403]

I'm glad it's not being as chaotic as my relationship was that just ended like, 3 days ago... :hug:
When I'm down I want to get help feeling better, but I don't want to feel weak for needing help :( A bit tricky

@7Cs I've had this forum "catch" me a lot :P This is where I mainly go to when in a bad state I cant deal with