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    Triggered during game

    I have felt that way so many times. Like you, I am also to the point where I'm triggered rarely. But these unpleasant incidences occur when it seems I've let my guard down or have not stayed on course in some way. And then I ruminate about it like you are doing. It becomes almost a warped...
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    Hopeless

    @Mundz I don't want to trivialize what he said. It was crude and somewhat disrespectful. However it really isn't what I would call a "nasty remark about [your] partner". He doesn't know her. He's never seen her. His disrespect was towards the idea of fidelity, and somewhat towards women in...
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    Childhood Strong willed child/train up a child victims

    Yes! And when it happens it is the child hating the abuser and then turning the hatred into strength. The child is lucky for the fact that he is given a clear enemy. The cases I hear and read about are usually males who had abusive fathers. The abusive father would be so blatantly detestable...
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    What Did You Eat And Drink Last?

    just now finishing a delicious, large honeycrisp apple...that's it, I'm down to the absolute core, two seeds fell into my mouth...it's over...sadness now
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    Childhood Strong willed child/train up a child victims

    Somehow, depending on particular circumstances, some kids who are beaten turn into the hard, tough, strong, confident adults. They don't take any shit from anybody and love themselves and feel like they own the world. They never have a sleepless night, and they live life to the fullest with no...
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    Anyone else get confused and think they are their abuser or that they aren't themselves?

    I sometimes find myself dealing with the family dog in the same tone, with the same anger, that my father dealt with me. My only saving-grace is that I don't physically abuse him, unlike my father.
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    Lying and ptsd

    I lie all the time about having a job. People have no idea what I've gone through. There is no way I could ever explain it to them so that they'd understand. But if anyone could spend one-hour inside my head, thinking my thoughts, they would know. So I lie freely as necessary and feel no guilt...
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    What is hypervigilance like for you?

    I don't indulge in hypervigilance naturally but sometimes I put myself there on purpose. It gives me a respite from my inner turmoil, as I trade my self-hatred for self-preservation from outside threats. It's literally an escape for me. It's funny how one man/woman's poison can be another's...
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    Eating...why is it so complicated?

    Thanks, Chem Lady. I definitely act like I was denied food. I have thought about that but never come up with any memories about that which I would consider traumatic. For instance, I was never denied food to the point where I felt neglected or in any physical symptoms. But there was the feeling...
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    Eating...why is it so complicated?

    I have no idea when to eat nor how much to eat. I have no natural instinct when it comes to eating. I have body issues as well, and force-vomit on occasion. This eating-confusion is related to those issues, but it goes way beyond it. I just don't have any structure for eating. I can't make any...
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    Ruin a band name by one letter

    It's juvenile, but Alice Pooper
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    What Song Are You Listening To Right Now?

    Nothing, but I've had the old ear-worm condition for months. I've been hearing "Hyacinth House" by The Doors for the last half-hour or so.
  13. P

    Ruin a band name by one letter

    Shitney Houston
  14. P

    The "like" option

    ^ True, and I do if I can add to it in some way. But I really can't chime in just to say "I agree". It may be seen as clogging or disruptive to the thread. I don't see it done much.
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    Does my t really not care or am i projecting?

    I really see Scarlet's side of this. I was similar to her until just a couple of days ago, and then I switched gears. I'd been going deep in my head for days, deeper than ever before, raging at my father. After each crescendo of rage, I'd feel a weight lifted and a feeling of innocence. But then...
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    The "like" option

    There ^ I just did :) But my mind takes it to another level. For instance, if someone gives a well-thought reply that I oppose and I like it to show respect, it sort of lowers the importance of the like I gave to a well-thought reply with which I agree :confused:
  17. P

    The "like" option

    This is probably a symptom of my condition, but I've started obsessing about when to give "likes", when it comes to points of view. For instance, when you ask a question and someone gives an opinion you don't agree with, do most of you "like" it because the person answered it period, or would...
  18. P

    Does my t really not care or am i projecting?

    It is an unusual situation, with she saying that the attachment is necessary and such. I don't know. I definitely can understand the idea behind it. I definitely can understand why you want that. It's the type of thing a lot us want(ed), but I know that now, for me at least, it's the last thing...
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    Death Facing fear of death

    My Proof of Heaven
  20. P

    Does my t really not care or am i projecting?

    Maybe she was 100% focused and compassionate the whole time, and you misread it...or...maybe she sees you as a paycheck. Probably it's somewhere in the middle. As in: she genuinely likes you, but she is not the woman you want her to be. Her kindness and compassion is limited by her selfishness...
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    Insert Swearish Rant Here

    wish I'd found this thread earlier today...or yesterday...or the day before Now I'm just tired...don't even want to yell...what's the point...it's over...I lost Oh well, the rage will come back tomorrow...see you all then ;)
  22. P

    Anyone have any experience with st. john's wort?

    I always find threads way too late :( Anyway, for what it's worth, took St John's wort a few years ago. I took it for like two days and got a rash and chills and I don't even remember what else. It was horrible. Never again.
  23. P

    Getting nowhere

    People act like they owe their parents something. Parents brought you into the world; you didn't ask them to bear you. They did it out of their own selfishness. Their two biggest responsibilities are to keep you safe and to teach you to love yourself. They get no awards or accolades for either...
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    Childhood Opinions...is it possible to present indicators of trauma from years of therapy?

    Albatross, are you speaking to me? If so, I have no idea what you mean.
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