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Sorry I thought I replied to this. This is something I struggled with a lot when I was in therapy. Not wanting attention or comfort but desperately longing for it. Through therapy I now feel okay to ask for affection though it’s only towards my friend. I can see the resentment at times with my...

Thank you for reminding me of the balance but also understanding that there’s more than just being happy alone. For me when she said that it brought up how things use to be with my siblings. Growing up I was excluded from my siblings and they hated me. I’m use to being alone, creating imaginary...

I don't know how to describe what I'm feeling. In a broad sense, I'm drained, I feel emotionally alone, and I feel crazy as if I'm a burden to those around me. I feel abandoned by my friend. We both were struggling mentally and trying to get our life together. Now she's happier and found someone...

This serves as a reflection guide for myself. Though I would appreciate insights or shared experiences. It's about the correlation of negative transference in my current relationships. I'm constantly seeking out someone who makes me feel less alone as if I'm important. Growing up I felt like I...

I agree that it’s due to opening up with someone we trust. I think that’s why I guess my inner child got scared. She thought I would tell my therapist something she wasn’t ready for someone to know. I think I’ll think a heads-up to my therapist would help. Also when I’m able to move writing...

I think I’ll try to relax more I think I panicked more because I didn’t understand what was happening. I’m going to try explaining what could help with my therapist. Maybe her giving me something cold to hold. Or something that could bring my attention away from anxiety.

During my therapy session, we were discussing nightmares. I thought I wasn't afraid of them. However, a small voice in my head said "I want to go home." I ignored it and then a freeze response took over. I went stiff and I couldn't speak. I was consciously still in the room, aware of my...

Thank you I need to add these to my list. I have one but I forget to rely on it and instead instantly go to self harm. But there needs to be a motivation and so far the motivation to be stable actually been working

What strategies have helped when the urges of self harm gets worse? And did stability come naturally after self harming or did you find coping strategies? I feel like I’m struggling a lot with motivations to be productive. I never feel like doing anything besides laying in my bed or going out to...

This is true, so far the urges has died down. However, a good affirmation can be “Don’t let her win.” I’m hoping it’s strong enough. This is very true. There’s no point when I’m unstable. Though at times when I’m the most unstable I don’t even realize it, which is why I started checking in with...

Sadly my main motivation to stopping self harm was to get my memories back. Now I’m at a standstill of not knowing if I want to quit again. I understand the desperation. Even though I can say I wouldn’t go that far, harming myself emotionally in order to get memories, I know how badly I want...

Would asking my family, quitting self, etc. with the purpose of retrieving memories be forcing it? I want to stop self harming regardless but the motivation of receiving my memories is stronger than anything I’ve ever tried to stop. May you explain more about forcing? I thought what I was trying...

For a moment the words of you, @Sideways , and Arfie was a little disheartening. I thought she would be able to get away with it while I’m stuck paying for the after effects. Though I was able to remember a few passages in the books I’ve been reading. Then it reminded me that the only reason I...

Is there anyway to ensure that it is true. I want to sue, I want to do something. I don’t want her to get away with it.

How did you get into memory work? Did you have to wait until the memory was there? And I’m also scared that the memories will be false if I force them

I don’t really know how to respond to this but I’m happy you shared this. I wish I was in a better place for this to click, to sink in. But ultimately I want this. It feels like something I deserve. If I get the memories back then we I will go down; however, I’m sure as hell going to take her...

@Movingforward10 I’ve briefly talked this over with my therapist and she responded the same way Friday did. Basically that it was my choice, I’m not naive, but that doesn’t mean I’m still not going in blind in some way. I’m use to gaslighting and being lied to not saying I’m completely prepared...

what do you mean? Why would I lose progress? I’m in trauma therapy and EMDR. Not saying this things are a safety net but I have the tools and support to soften the blow. I also have limited hours for work and accommodations for school for times it’ll be difficult to show up. Do I need anything...

I want to talk to the woman who groomed me as a child. I want to know what happened to me. If it was just grooming it if it led to sexual abuse. Even if she lies to me, if I talk to her again maybe I’ll regain my memories. I’m just tired of feeling like a dramatic liar.

I relate completely to people feeling as though a woman can’t be an abuser. People think because a female can’t physically harm as much with penetration (unless with objects) then it isn’t as bad as when a male does it. Or they have this notion that a female is more nice gentle and loving. Even...

😂 not crazy it’s really cool. I have a lot to work on with my therapist this upcoming session

This sounds nice, did your therapist help with your build this world?

Younger me came out again. My friend was arguing with her boyfriend. At first it was just annoying but then I started feel uncomfortable. He said her emotions were dramatic and she was acting stupid. It reminded me of my parents and how small I felt with them. I had to get out the car to get...

😂 yeah I meant soothing not shooting my younger self. Do recommend anything else to reparent myself and to help with younger parts that feel unheard and misunderstood? I know I still want to work on this with my therapist. I would seeing if there’s anything I can work on at home while I wait for...

The awareness of this helps somewhat but I genuinely don’t know now if me wanting to have sex with men is because of being in a trauma brain right now. When I wasn’t in this state I thought I was asexual. I have romantic interest for men but I don’t want to have sex with them; however, I view...