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You may not be the person your wife needs for talking to about her trauma. I don't talk to my husband much about mine. He's a wonderful man, who is MY "safe person". But I would never think that he would understand or be able to help me with that stuff. It would just hurt him to hear it. I have...

I had an experience with a therapist that I was reminded of as I read this thread. I saw this lady for many years, during a time when I was in the midst of a trauma, allowing myself to be abused because I didn't know how to get out of it. I was telling her what was going on. She was the only...

Yeah I know what you guys are saying. We did invite both of the children. We actually invited all three, including the one that is about to turn 18. The younger ones are 10 and 8. I am getting different responses about the younger child, that they can't afford to fly him, that he's too young for...

Wow, thank you Friday. I will definitely get one of those forms from my son's pediatrician. I didn't think about what would happen if I had to take my niece to the doctor while she was here. An emergency wouldn't be the time to wait on a form from another state.

I was supposed to be getting an article published. The professor overseeing me stopping helping me or answering my emails. I couldn't face working on it alone, so I let it go. I get my daily housewife/mom chores done, but on some days I really struggle just to do the minimum. I constantly feel...

I'm not saying "abusing" because I don't think she's doing anything where I can officially step in. My sister and her (common law) husband recently broke up. Both her and her husband text and call me periodically and tell me all their business. My sister has been yelling at the kids (10 and 8)...

Actually helping someone. It doesn't have to have anything to do with your trauma. Let's say that your trauma has something to do with physical violence. You could help someone learn to read, or pick up a stray dog and take him to a no-kill shelter. Those kinds of things may help lessen the...

I just walked away from a career in the social sciences. Part of what I was looking at was people who are different in one way or another and people who are different for a combination of reasons. So let's pretend that a person is triple minority 1) female 2) black 3) gay. I'm using these...

Good for you! You're standing up and fighting for yourself, and that's very brave! My mom was inappropriate with me and my three older brothers. I don't know for sure, but I think she has been sexually abusing my younger brother for some time. He is autistic and has a limited ability to defend...

I was talking about this with my therapist today. She had given me an exercise to do that I was struggling with, so she gave me an easier one that was just body mindfulness. She's having me work on tensing and relaxing my muscles, starting with my feet and working my way up. Then also paying...

I think that if a kid has been abused, or you think they are about to be abused, it's your duty to share your own story. However, if she is merely going off to college and you want her to be safe, maybe you just could tell her what you wish you had known yourself. Stuff like to never walk alone...

Do you think you could find a new job coaching kids who are disadvantaged? I am no longer working or volunteering because I am disabled and my son is three. Before I got pregnant I was volunteer teaching adult refugees. It was enormously satisfying. The people I taught wanted and needed my help...

I have noticed with my sister, that she seems to act out a little more when she is with a dude who is nicer, like her two exs. Kind of like if things are quiet, you can hear small sounds better? I feel like when her life is quiet, she has a harder time. It's easier for her if she's with, say, a...

It helps to do something else fun instead of eat. Don't allow yourself to think about it. Get up and do something else enjoyable. Taking a walk while listening to your favorite music is really helpful. Go get a manicure and/or pedicure. Take a drive to someplace interesting. Get a dog if you...

Did you end up with a plan for how to handle this? I was drawn to your post because my brother in law told me recently that he thinks my sister has borderline personality disorder (I can see his point). She has some hard times similar to this incident you described, sometimes in front of their...

NEVER would have thought of this standing still thing. THANK YOU for this and the rest of your reply, which was very helpful. I'm going to institute the standing still rule right away. She mainly herds the cats in our house, but she also tries to herd one of the two other dogs (both pit bulls)...

Do you challenge your cat in areas where he has trouble or back off and let him do what he is comfortable with? I am never sure what to do for myself so it's doubly hard to guess for my dog.

Sorry if this seems trivial. I have PTSD and I have noticed that one of my dogs has it too. My husband and I were separated for a few years and during that time he was seeing a girl who got a puppy. I did see the puppy around sometimes and she was normal then. Normal weight, normal personality...

My son's biological father (not my husband, who is my son's "dad") said and did weird things on the same scale as your dad. That was a big part of why we stopped letting him visit. I am certain that he did not have bad intentions, but it doesn't matter what you intend- it matters what you do. In...

I can so relate to the being a parent and having limited options thing. I will often get up and clean my house or mow the lawn. Something about actively putting things in order helps. I listen to a Pandora station on my phone while I'm doing it when I'm able. I also will take a shower or wash...

I know you're trying to be healthy here, but it could be that you're already not doing too badly. My late brother was overweight and he felt just awful about it. He was also tall. People would call him "hoss" and make jokes about him being large. He hated it. It'd just make him eat more. My...

I just wanted to add in case no one has mentioned this to you yet that you should make sure to keep your daughter away from your wife's dad. If he was creepy at his kid he would be creepy at his granddaughter as well. You can just assume that. One of my abusers is my second oldest brother. I...

Well, see when I had subsequent traumatic experiences, I always just carried on in what I thought was a normal fashion but was actually not helpful for me. Way later on I read about what one is supposed to do to get help after trauma and those things just never occurred to me. Like, to let...

Lol! I know what you're talking about. My husband is autistic. I have to hear quite a bit about knives. :| I am supposed to be a researcher in the subject of autistic adults but I am not actively researching right now. One of the things I had been studying for the past few years is wellbeing in...

I've heard this before. I had a terrible childhood and then had several traumatizing experiences later. I have PTSD both from my childhood and from the later experiences. I think I would have responded much differently to the later experiences if I had a good childhood. Also, my adult nephew by...