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I really like any flowers that have a different color on the edge of the petals. I used to have an African violet plant that had white flowers with bright pink edges.

This week I am headed back to where I grew up for the first time in a year and a half. Last time I was there, I had my strongest, most realistic and all-encompassing flashback ever. It included parts of my trauma I had either forgotten or was in such denial about that I hadn't let myself...

Thank you for sharing this! I really needed it.

I'm so sorry you had to make that choice. No one ever should be faced with that kind of decision- especially not at such a young age. You made the best choice you could at the time with what you knew and where you were at. And while you can't change what happened then, you do have a choice...

I'm sorry you're reliving this. What helps me most when my body is remembering things is to remember that regardless of what I'm feeling, it's NOT happening again. That I'm safe. Then I'll do a few grounding things like holding on to an ice cube or a rock, describing my surroundings, singing...

That's kind of how I feel about dissociation in general. I think my biggest, hardest task is to convince myself it's better to stay grounded. That will probably take more work than actually putting it into practice.

Today I was talking to a good friend about how we each deal with feeling overwhelmed or overcrowded. We will both take a break if possible, but then I told her about what happens if I don't feel like I can easily leave without making a scene. I told her I disappear. She asked where I go and I...

I have three, which is kind of excessive, but they apply to just about anything this way! "Hope for the best, work for the rest, and never say never again." -An American Tail "God wastes nothing." -one of my campers "Whatever the f*** it takes." -Kyle Timmons in "Win Win"

Grateful to have enjoyed a minor league baseball game with a few friends tonight- and grateful for the customer who just freely gave me his really great tickets because he has season tickets but was going out of town! And I'm grateful that I did absolutely fine with the crowds and the noise...

@Healing Reins I love that you keep bringing up things I think about all the time but never think to post about. Thanks for bringing it to the forum!

So glad you're here! This site has been so super helpful for me to consider new perspectives and new strategies. And obviously it's also really comforting to share the hard things with people who can really understand because they've been there!

Welcome. There's an awful lot of great stuff to learn here!

Grateful for my dear friend and housemate who let me sit in her room today while I journaled out the story of my trauma.

Welcome! This community has been so helpful to so many of us. There is something so freeing about knowing there are others who have felt or thought the same way! And more than that, there is so much hope that comes from seeing where others have overcome whatever piece of this I'm battling today!

Feeling far less anxious now, having mowed, weedwhacked, and raked our yard. And pulled up some dandelions. All while unashamedly singing with my phone. I'm feeling accomplished, grateful for the sunshine, grateful for this house and my friend who owns it, and grateful to be able to contribute...

Someone who had the best of intentions told my former pastor that I had been abused by someone at the church. She didn't tell me she talked to him, though, so I was really thrown off when the pastor called my dorm room to to talk to me about it. He told me he had talked to my abuser and that I...

I am feeling so anxious I'm on the edge of tears.

A friend just suggested to me that I needed to learn to "take it easy." He thinks I'd benefit from taking time off from over analyzing every action, feeling, and thought- that I need occasional breaks from the hard task of recovery. What we came up with as a plan for me personally was I'd...

Moving 6 hours west was one of the best choices I have ever made. I found a place where I finally felt safe- not necessarily like nothing bad could ever happen to me, but a place where I am loved, accepted, heard, and built up in such a way that I finally feel like I have what I need to be able...

This part was the reason for my "like," not the powder keg potential! Just thought I'd clarify!

Today I woke up with an extra dose of anxiety and physically feeling like the trauma was happening again. And then there was lightning which usually sets off and/or amplifies all kinds of anxiety and memories for me. I got to work (quick service restaurant) and tried to focus on my long list of...

I am actually feeling pretty good right now! I am feeling grateful for my job, my home, my friends, and for the progress that's been made in my healing. I am feeling a little bit alone in a couple of areas, but I'm hopeful because it seems as though there will be opportunities to share those...

Thanks everyone for your comments and helping me get at why I'm so rigid in this area. I think mostly it feels like too big of a question to answer. I've always had a hard time admitting anything was wrong. So I used to lie to others and myself. Now that the lying is gone, I'm left with the...

I do a lot of these, too. Especially biting inside my cheek. I do that constantly! I am doing it right now, actually!

I struggle with this too. Though I am a Christian and I don't want to do it anymore, there are times when I am so caught up in thoughts about having been raped and abused that I end up masturbating. For me what I figured out is that I get so panicked at the loss of control over my body that I...