Facing Possible Flashback Triggers

[y5L]

This week I am headed back to where I grew up for the first time in a year and a half.

Last time I was there, I had my strongest, most realistic and all-encompassing flashback ever. It included parts of my trauma I had either forgotten or was in such denial about that I hadn't let myself remember.

I am anxious that going back will trigger more memories and/or flashbacks. I can't seem to stop myself from thinking about it even though I know worrying does no good.

I am not going alone this time. My roommate (who actually hasn't heard my story yet, but probably will on this trip!) is going with me. And we will only be in my former town for a day, then we're off to a nearby city for 4 days of fun vacation. The hope is that with a fun vacation to plan, I wouldn't be as focused on (and anxious about) the hard part of the trip and that if it IS hard I'll have a few days away with my friend to recover from it.

But right now it's almost 2 hours past bedtime and I'm typing this instead of sleeping because I'm anxious about the potential for more stuff to resurface when I'm in that town.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I understand your dread of going there and I understand the anxiety that goes along with it. I am so glad you are planning a fun trip afterwards. I have done that and it really helped me so much. I wish you the best.

 

[y5L]

Update on this!

We're a couple days in to the fun vacation part of the trip and I am very glad to say that the visit to my hometown was the least scary, painful, or intense it has ever been! Having my friend there helped SO MUCH! So did having this trip to look forward to and plan out!

No new memories resurfacing, no old ones paralyzing me, no arguments with my parents, just an almost enjoyable visit!

And a great vacation so far, too! ; )

 

[Ladyghosthunter]

This is such wonderful news. I'm glad that facing this has been a positive experience for you!!!