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  1. P

    How Can I Reduce Contact With My Mother? (and Get Away With It)

    ditto..ditto and ditto I have a very similar problem. I have to wonder what the "long-term consequences" are you referred to. In other words, if you're financially dependent upon her right now and/or in the forseeable future...then it's completely reasonable to be reluctant to put your foot...
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    How Do You Know When To Quit?

    I can't give first hand advice, as I've never had much luck with therapy...but I second what I think albatross is saying, as I've heard same from others regarding their therapeutic process...that sometimes you just need a break to catch your breath...and that when you need that break...it's...
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    Do You Like To Eat?

    @ghotiff Don't know why you're freaked put over that thought. Can you explain?
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    Relationship New To This . . . Trying To Understand Him

    ...Apologies...my previous post was meant to read "Are NOT mutually exclusive...(P2, first sentence)
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    Relationship New To This . . . Trying To Understand Him

    I have a slightly different take, though it depends upon the origin of his PTSD. If he suffered emotional/physical/sexual abuse in very early childhood, then there is then the potential that attachment disorder is in play. And even if, as a veteran, his understanding of his diagnosis of PTSD is...
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    Should Be A Red Letter Day

    Feeling that we deserve our pain is no better reason to hold on to it...as though doing penance. Not that you are, or that your pain is any less legitimate, as an experience, at this point. But I hope you will choose to let it go, as well. I doubt that holding on to it would be of any service...
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    Should Be A Red Letter Day

    @Link Removed Thank you for your honesty. You inspired me, today. It takes strength to admit to "weakness"/imperfection...and I believe that, conversely, doing so, as proof of strength, makes one stronger. You're not keeping it as a deep dark shameful secret you're hiding from the world. And...
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    Trying To Heal From Spiritual Abuse

    It's difficult not to have horrible associations with anything, when an abuser has represented themselves as being identified with it. That's only natural, and I hope you aren't beating yourself up over it, as in "I must be a bad person for my lack of faith/lack of ability to trust God, etc. It...
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    Do You Like To Eat?

    Interesting. I've done a lot of reading/research into trauma and related symptoms...but never run across this one. And come to think of it, I've always found the same to hold true for me, as well...from youth, even, when for example, at school, I'd elect to sit alone at lunch, for my meal. Even...
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    I Am So Confused And Lost!

    @Andaliad Your friend sufferers from a condition much worse than PTSD-what could be called a "complication" of PTSD, which makes it deadly, or at least, potentially so. It's called ignorance. And it's the same condition which the entire world in the form of current consensus reality suffers...
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    Mini-breakthrough: Affirming Identity

    I agree-I think you have officially pulled yourself up to the next plateau and out of the morass which is reactivity/helplessness. One of the chief symptoms of PTSD is termed "learned helplessness", which I think is just a jargbuoyantelabeling of acepting victimhood to the point of...
  12. P

    School Bully Died

    I think we should be allowing ourselves to feel about everything however we're actually feeling about it. Wven if it's just uncertainty...about what those feelings are. But I don't think "should" should come in to play.
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    Depressed, Joyless, Suicidal

    I'm 43, and when I was younger I would have given anything to lose my "sensitivity". seems like a simple equation after all: lose your sensitivity...lose your susceptibility to pain, right? But today I value that same senaitivity more highly than anything else. Because I've become...
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    Depressed, Joyless, Suicidal

    I understand completely. I've felt similarly the majority of the time,all my life...from my earliest recollections. Have you ever been medicated for depression? I'm not familiar with your story, unfortunately. Many studies have found that trauma damages the part of tge beain that makes...
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    Ouch

    I know what you mean. was raised in family from a Latino cultural background, without being told that was what was happening-didn't know any better because neither of my parents had accents. This was in Texas, of all places. I've never known anything but being attacked out right by people who...
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    Crumbling Apart

    @InsideAWord Then welcome to the club! The above thoughts sound like they could have been lifted directly from the diaries of a thousand different trauma-sufferers...at least. But when you're sitting in the middle of that actual experience, hearing that does exactly no good at all, I know...
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    Triggered By This Forum

    So sorry this is such a difficult time for you. It's common for "anniversaries" of traumaric incidents to call up such feelings. But I'm concerned most by statements you made that sound like a cry for help.."my T is on vacation", and "I really dont know how to help myself" . Please remember...
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    Relationship Help Me Understand Why I Am A Trigger

    @libbylouise27 First of all, please don't feel bad that you don't understand. That's the first point. You shouldn't be expected to. At all. Because unless you've experienced PTSD "from the inside", it's very nearly impossible to. I would actually say that it is, in fact, impossible. I think...
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    The Impact Of Childhood Sexual Abuse On My Sexuality

    @Bedbug I just wanted to commend you for the bravery and strength you've shown in sharing your story, and confronting issues so traumatic that you repressed them so completely, and for so long. Congratulations on taking the leap and confronting such difficult feelings and memories.
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    Afraid To Be A Woman

    We tend to be so unaware of how our early lives set us on a course to where we've wound up, how the things that shaped our developing identities during the crucial early years were responsible in such a large part in our identity even as adults. I know this is true for me--that is, it was...
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    Relationship How To Learn To Forgive

    @ Never Give Up I haven't read any of your posts relating what has led up to this--well tragedy, is the only word that fits. Please remember at such a dark time that alone, an arrest rarely means anything, or even carries much weight on a permanent record. From my understanding, if there is...
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    Relationship How To Learn To Forgive

    @Never Give Up: You very admirably exhort blue_eyes18 to take care of his own needs...but what of your own? It's difficult to remember effectively that you yourself are worthy of being cared for--and so caring for yourself--when someone begins to treat you as though you are not, most...
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    Relationship How To Learn To Forgive

    @kyara Everything you've described certainly applies to me, as well. Without a doubt. @llifton It will of course sound not only trite, but ridiculously simplistic....but it will just take some time. And for what it's worth, it sounds, to me at least, as if you're both going forward into your...
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    Relationship Kind Of At An Empass Here..

    @Solara Wow. Some anger there, it would seem-unusual?: I'd be very interested to learn how my post did anything like that. A more careful read of my actual words might be better: I never once, for example, even used the tern "abusive" in my post--as Solara accuses...much less "physically"...
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    Relationship Kind Of At An Empass Here..

    It may be no comfort to you at all, especially at this point, as your own pain/trauma from the raw experience with your husband is so fresh---but experiences like the ones you describe are not at all uncommon in relationships with sufferrers of trauma/PTSD. In fact, a hallmark of the trauma...
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