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I long to be carefree! Strange word! Huh! I want my coping mechanisms to be autonomous and see the struggles of life to be something not to be afraid of. I have an amazing supportive husband and two great kids I just want to enjoy them. I am still a long way off but to not fear, fear would be...

It’s not too late. Its your chance to really see how you cope the next week or so. If you are really struggling please contact your go, support line etc. I can relate, I won’t see my T for another week and a half and I am already panicking. One day at a time. Hugs if you accept.

Thanks for the heads up @somerandomguy appreciate it. I can’t edit it so maybe the moderators will. Thanks for your response. Yes I have a diary and also have one on here but I just can’t find the words my mind goes blank. I am not afraid to share with my therapist but I just block when I am...

I am not sure where I should post this so please move it if in the wrong place. I have had EMDR for the past few months and have found it very beneficial to talk my Therapist through my flashbacks and dreams. I have a specific recurring flashback and dream of oral sexual abuse. I need to build...

@EveHarrington thank you. I am avoiding things that will make me cry too. Like today the radio was on in work and a very special song came on and normally I take a minute or two to reflect but I went to the office and closed the door before I even realised what I had done. I have this idea that...

For me yes sometimes. During my childhood I froze a lot so sometimes the flashbacks are a little patchy. But I do feel physical pain and I also feel the ‘frozen’ tense feeling like my muscles constrict and I don’t remember to breath just exactly how I responded during the trauma. If I have an...

I saw my therapist yesterday. I have been doing EMDR and been in a really bad place these past few weeks. I feel like I am sitting on the edge and I could just cry at any second. But I feel like I am sort of controlling it and holding it in. If I could describe it it’s like a massive ball of...

I started therapy like this. Aware that to heal somewhat I had to feel. I always felt flat. No emotions/feelings what so ever. Finally, after a long time I started to really look after my body and mind and do yoga also still doing EMDR. It sort of put me in a place that I could finally let go a...

I like that I am loyal. I like that I can normally think on the spot and come up with some pretty cool games for my son. (Mama let’s think of a new game) I like that I have reached out on here and with medication and my therapist as it shows I take responsibility for me and have a goal to get...

That’s pretty cool! I think I’m going to give it a go. Thanks

I grew up never bathing with my parents and everything was private. We were not even allowed in the bathroom when someone else was there. Maybe it made me more curious when I was being sexually abused. But no one noticed when I was in the bathroom with my abuser! I really think there is a link...

This happens to me! Never thought about it too much though. I am terrible. Sometimes I forget my sons birth date and even managed to convince my husband he was a year older some years ago. It’s worse when put on the spot too. The only way I know the date is as it’s on my computer screen at work...

My thoughts on this might be a little different. My therapist/psychologist is very good but as much as I have reached out a few times out with sessions I do see her as a service and I assume she sees me as a client. Yes I have built up a trustful relationship with her and if she disappeared...

Eve, of all those bad days we have to try to take the smallest of achievements to continue the journey! You have come so far! Even if we go back to awaking each day and breathing, maybe eating and getting to the toilet we are moving forward. Some days we can take huge leaps and other days we...

Hi Eve, sorry you are feeling this. It’s such a difficult ‘Journey’. I try to refer to ‘Journey’ as then I am on some sort of path and I sort of aknowledge that there are highs and extreme lows. The highs even just slightly are worth it and so are you. I am also feeling like it’s all too much...

Currently started ‘the body knows the score’ after the recommendations on here and a novel called ‘Tuscany’ I review books so this is just an extra.

Got a million and one things to do but have not get up and go what so ever. I want to completely relax and sort my journal out and maybe do a bit of reading but this week I just have not had the time and this in itself is driving me more crazy.

I’m not sure if you are venting your annoyance but I feel like my heads about to explode when either someone talks on repeat to me or when I have 2/3/4 different sounds coming in at once. For example I am at work and 2 people talk over each other and the radio is playing a track then there is...

Hi @Sweetleaf i am sorry you are feeling like this. I can really relate and currently trying to deal with these emotions in therapy. It’s the most confusing for me. I am at a stage that I blame myself. I kept going back for more and actually liked the attention and was curious. I felt like I was...

Take some more time if you can. Are you doing anything ‘For you’ at the moment. Sport, yoga, classes, meditation, self care? Are you in therapy? Sometimes just letting the feelings be is good. Maybe there will be some light for a little bit for you to regain your strength. Sending you some of...

I can relate @LilyRose can you take some leave from work at the moment? We are here if you need to get some stuff out. Huge hugs if you will accept.

You know maybe it is @Angelwings Maybe I should bring it up next week with her. It’s almost as though I have learned myself to apologise for my situation. Not many people know of my situation so I don’t feel like I have to apologise so much. I apologise to my husband sometimes if I’m having a...

I think I am sorry for either being emotional or I am sorry she had to hear what she just heard me say. I don’t doubt her ability as a trauma therapist so it seems it is a problem of mine. When I say it she shrugs it off. Shrugging it off does not offend me. It’s almost as though she accepts it...

I have notice that when I have a tough session or if I have a flashback or get emotional during therapy I seem to apologise to my therapist. I would say I am not overly attached to her. I respect our boundaries. She comes across as strong so don’t feel like I am exposing her to something she...

Anxious, tired and slightly just being. Although grateful and seeking some solitude just to be alone to figure the rest out! Tomorrow is another day I will hope will be better than the last.