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I've known that I have DID for probably a decade now. I've dealt with 3 different identities other than myself. But I've had this anger that comes from the back of my mind that I didn't know really how it worked. Yesterday when dealing with a new horrible memory in which I was forced to kill...

Thank you. It is so hard to come to terms with, just even how horrible it felt to do such an awful thing. I am trying to be easier on myself, it's just tricky.

I just started having a new flashback where a knife was held to my throat and I was told to stab a cat and kill it or my throat would be slit. I am having so much trouble coming to terms with it because I feel so disgusting and evil stabbing a cat and watching it die. I feel so ashamed. :(

No, I don't think I have read that @Movingforward10 , sounds interesting, might have to have a look at it.

I remember that feeling so well @Movingforward10 even though it was years ago. It is really scary and I think that it doesn't help that there's such a stigma attached to the idea of having more than one 'personality'. I still struggle with being too harsh on myself and joking that I am...

I have been aware of my different parts for a decade or more and have previously had some small success with integration. I've got pretty used to parenting the child part but it is still sometimes quite hard and sometimes she'll be upset for a while before I realise and in the time before I...

"Realisation is the ongoing action of being aware of reality as it is, accepting it, and then adapting to it effectively". Realisation is supposed to be pivotal to processing trauma, to everyday life functioning and integration. We can have many non-realisations, from mild to extreme. For...

Hi. Just wondering if anybody else with DID has been through the process of Realisation, or is going through the process or attempted it? I'm just beginning and I am finding it so hard. There is so much emotion with so much intensity.

@Friday, Just learning to accept yourself as you are, learning that imperfection is okay, learning to not judge ourselves. Self-acceptance is about having more self-compassion. It's about looking at what aspects of ourselves we don't accept, moving away from guilt, self-criticisms and denials...

Oh yes, saying sorry all the time is such a big one for me too! So much so that even my husband says to me, 'Why are you sorry? There's nothing to be sorry for!' My core belief at its biggest over-arching level for a long time has been 'I am sh*#'. It's funny because I actually thought I had...

I have found self-acceptance very difficult for a long time. After coming back to therapy it has become a focus again. I am finding it very challenging and very anxiety-inducing but I think I am finally, for the first time in over a decade, making some little steps of progress. It is scary...

I am very dissociative and have recently reentered therapy after some new flashbacks. Although I know the sources of my trauma, I can't always remember the specifics of all my memories or abuse and that can sometimes make addressing/processing the trauma difficult. My T and I are at the moment...

So, today is the last day of school term here and then it's two weeks winter holiday break. I'm taking a therapy break too. The last month and a half has been so intense in therapy and I must say I'm really looking forward to spending time with my family and travelling around my little home...

I've been processing a new memory this weekend and it's been pretty hard going. Had a bit of a meltdown and a couple of hours later I'm thinking to myself, 'Hey, I feel fine now. Nothing wrong at all. I'm completely over it.' Then I eat 5 oreos and get out a knife to cut my arm and realise...

Just wondering what people have found works to help them sleep when going through a triggered time? My sleep is better than it was a couple of weeks ago. At the moment I'm usually going to sleep okay now, but waking most mornings by 4:00-4:30am. I mean, I'm getting heaps of work done in a...

Thanks guys, I had the conversation with him and got it all out in the open. I think it's okay and like you said the fact that I'm aware of it and willing to talk about it with him and my husband, is very different to the past. It was something I kept very secret back then because I didn't...

Does anybody else ever worry about their relationship with their T? It's a fine line between trusting them, respecting them and being too attached. Last time I was in therapy with my T I'm seeing again now, going back probably twelve or so years ago, I think I was too attached. It was at the...

Yes, the online thing can be difficult. I hope you get to meet in person soon, but it was a lovely thought to send you a voice message. On the flip side the emergence of an online model due to covid-19 in the little state in Australia where I live has actually been beneficial to me. I...

So, I'm back in therapy after many years of managing by myself because of some horrific new flashbacks and my T responded in an email to some journalling I sent him the other day with these words, ", you deserve all the love you receive, and more, you have suffered a lot in life and deserve...

Just asked my T at the end of a session. He thinks it's likely more a derealisation/dissociation thing. Have to try and be more mindful to maybe reduce this impact. Thanks for all your responses! :)

It's not exactly a huge problem, other than being embarrassed when someone asks me if I have a bookshelf in my office that I've been in for a year and I say, 'I don't know'... then they discover a bookshelf with my book actually sitting on them! lol It's interesting @Movingforward10 that you...

I have a question, I'm wondering if anybody knows the answer. I have a huge unawareness of my surroundings at times, including not remembering features of places I've been to daily. I'm not sure of the cause of this. It could possibly be a dissociative thing, but I also wondered if it could...

Welcome! It's a great place to find support and talk to people who really understand what you're going through. I too, am going through a triggered time and I know what you mean by feeling like you're surrounded by danger. It's hard work and sometimes it really does feel too much, like you're...

My son made me smile today, watching a play he had made up with a friend and performed for me. It was very cute. :)

I need a hug because I'm going through new flashbacks that are making me sooo anxious and my child-part (I have DID) and the only way I can give her a hug of support is to hug myself!