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Hi Crow88 I get those too, lot's and not just grammar. One hand was broken and I'm not on a pc I have a phone (no spell check small key's). Hand still not 100%. When I read that people with ptsd can have difficulty reading information, rules make sense. I read more on here, but I just kept on...

A sun bed is not the same light. Maybey the warmth on your skin makes you feel better. I know I feel relaxed when the sun does this. Even when it's grey sky, there is still light that we need (through the retina of the eye) for our brain. So it's important to get out. My growing light bulbs in...

Hi mytai, was good to read the post from you here ( was checking for some today). Wauw your strong !. Hard work of your mind today. hope you can let it get it's earned rest tonight. Be kind to you !. Sleep processes the events of the day, to go on. I'm not diagnosed with ptsd but I hope your...

Hi Rosalia, idem here. I realised at 7 that things I was told didn't make sense to me. Was send to Catholic schools, never understood the pupose of the rituals I was expected to follow ( communion prep, attending baptisms etc). I must say I kind of endured it, but inside I just wanted to...

I have SAD too, and I live in a place that has very cold winters. I have a light alarm, it gradually gets brighter in the morning (mimics the sun). This makes a big difference as I have to get up when it's still dark. I found my bio rithm is not so confused anymore. At work I have a special...

Mytai, Will be thinking of you tomorrow. Hoping for you to have some sleep hours tonight, your mind needs it (maybey today's floating was part of self preparation and to allow yourself a break). Looks like your continuing to take your power back !. You're in control here !. All is there in...

Hi Mountaineer, your're not alone. I know someone that also had a violent and emotionally abusive father. Basically left a violent home and went straight into the army at a very young age. Was deployed to several hell's and diagnosed with ptsd. He has a child and told himself that he...

Hi, lots of Guy's lost so much just like you. I've seen some guys re-establish emotional contact with themselves. It takes a long time, support and self understanding. Seen some appreciate the important things out here in the 'civil' world. Lots of aggression though when disrespected...

Mytai you're going, going, going, good for you !. I do the pasing too, for me I figured out it's in a way, me keeping in controle. I do things with my hands and fingers when I have to tap into memory, to get through remembering in sequence, when it's hard and overwhelming (also to stay in...

It's probably to do with protection. If you are able to be open about what you see about yourself and you question it, isn't that in a way positive? . I have seen first hand that cycle of abuse being broken. Its been done its being done. Can't hate yourself and brake it at the same time...

I have spiraled into a monster of a human being.. I have heard this said back in 2004 or so, for what my mess head can remember. "We are monsters now, why don't they just kill us". This same person has a different career now here in the civilian world (a job that enables protect and...

Friendship is very dear. I'm still in comtact with an ex too, he has combat ptsd. All I can say is that it's really nice to hear about him enjoying something in this life. Puts a smile on my face because it means that he decided that he deserves it. There was a time where he was not wanting...

Feedback from friends that don't know PTSD is really hard to take but I can say that id you get emotionally attacked it is not about PTSD there something really wrong there and good that your not stuck to get away from hurt. Shit I can no longer erase my thread above venting Yapping about long...

I know it's not the same it is different when you are able to justify in head what you did. I get it but I don't. Controle comes in and goes autopilot. Trained or not there was that same autopilot before. They should know not to play with something that was perfectly fine before, not coming...

Sorry reddevil1111 but I dont think that skydiving, after being airborn on a Leach many times, can give/produce the hype like the first time.

Good for you but I was told that killing once you start the first time its like a high and then no stop. I'm trying to keep everybody safe here and I have to stop showing that I'm angry so my guys here don't do anything stupid, because they will take my anger as a reaction to a threat and make...

Hi nomedic1 I wanted to quote you on something but it just got screwed up. I don't know why, but when you say "trauma was of my own doing for choosing to be where I was" it doesn't sit right with me sorry. We all come into this world with that death and life force inside for a reason. It's...

Hi I cannot give you advise ( I couldn't report) I can say I wish I had the ability. If you can do this, you have the ability to protect other lives your way. All the power to you and be safe.

Medic72 its beautiful what you say here, I cried (its not a bad thing, is a good thing I have a hard time with release of emotion like that) what you said "grieve it out, work through it. It is going to be painful but if it sets your soul free, then the pain is worth the limited time it will...

Went through the treat, don't play with fire (did that to regain control), if he has psychopathic brain patterns pls stop looking for a conscious in there, there is nobody home. Its in the eyes you cannot read the bio signals anymore. I wouldn't threaten to leave, you have no support system...

Very interesting re the biological changes. When are they going to test a cohort of female rats ?. Before or after the antidepressants effects are evaluated ?. Before or after they get distributed to 'people' ?. Where does the financing for this research come from ?. Sorry but I get all these...

I have that, not as often as before but now it's more waking and before I have my eyes open really wondering where I am and absolutely not knowing (not even which country). Then I get afraid to open my eyes ( not because I feel I'm not safe, but because of the hollow feeling that follows...

I know I know I was a lot stronger when I was younger too. Even a decade make a difference. I asked my councillor recently howecome I'm have such a hard time now with this stuff, while I managed to get through way worse? Sounds to me you have your wife through good and bad years. I always found...

Hi, were you able to id the triggers of some of the anxiety ? I'm not using the medication either.

Do you feel up for that ?. I know every dog derives from the wolf. Doesn't that mean the cub could be more than a handful? . Don't get me wrong I still think you should go for it. Would bring good focus.