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recently been lamenting a lot on the state of my relationships. It seems like they have always been built upon drug use, a shared sense of victimisation, trauma bonding, a perverse need to exploit and be exploited. let go of many of them but still hang on to some mostly out of loneleyness and...

yes all very interested I have been learning a lot about sensations in my abdomen I am zoning out from like a sick nauseous feeling but it processes if you can stay present to it. had a nice positive reinforcement today like a very alive energetic feeling in my body rather than the usual numb...

I think the tricky thing with behavioural addictions is that you can not completely avoid the objects your trying not to use to disscociate..for instance mirrors I can not say I am not going to look in a mirror ever again I need to to groom my self..so I just have to set an intention to only use...

just checking in. doing well but my nerves are on fire. I have identified a cluster of habits I use to dissociate from emotions and bodily sensations, which are ...checking my e mails countless times a day and looking at useless information on the internet for ages. checking my reflection in the...

don't be to hard on yourself these things nearly killed you and is killing others. its understandable that you would feel quite negative about it.

yes such a tough thing seeing as these drugs are socially acceptable..alcohol even more so than pot, but for us they evoke all these horrific scenarios and the feelings that come with it, but people have different experiences of these things. I believe with many things in its not the thing its...

Yes I think this has brought to my attention a certain predjudice I have around pot. its never something I was into much though I was into other things..my sister was and is and she is in the category of person its had a bit of a disastrous effect on. I am open to the idea that some people are...

yes completely why am I attracted to someone I don't have much in common with anymore...although I used to as I was a prolific user as well..I do tend to gravitiate back to what I know through a lack of not knowing anything else and having the confidence to go for it...I had even planned to go...

feeling a bit sad and reflective . been pursuing a relationship with a prolific pot user...even though I don't use any more and my sister is also a prolific pot user and In my experience its difficult to have a meaningful relationship with such people...been feeling a bit negative about it all...

This is what I need to to be doing of course its going to be triggering but its what I need to go through to grow and change. the thing is I am well aware that disapointments can happen in the real world as well but at least its all human. yes I need to be careful to not condemm online...

I have finally realised as a way of avoiding trying to connect with people in real life I use the internet to connect with people. its turning out to be a losing game for me as I often get disappointed it so easy to create fantasys online about people but the reality is often different. I...

It's been interesting reading this and comparing my self now to then. I have revised what it means to trust people. I have learned that I am generally not the centre of everyone's universe and they generally not dreaming up all sorts of diabolical plots against me there just getting on with...

I guess it's a case of them being similar rather than the same. I just got the workbook looks like it resonates a lot with me. Have dabbled with cbt. It is useful in some ways but not very holistic. A contraindication for me with cbt is it can intellectualise things a lot and that's something I...

I would be interested to know how you combined dbt and cbt as there different systems any tips

yes I have observed bdp seems to get confused with antisocial personality disorder which is the one which makes you dangerous to others. yes as there so similar I imagine treating one would have some affect on the other

So confused know I need big help now but when I read about my problems it seems like complex ptsd looks the same as borderline personality disorder. So I am like what is it then do I have one or both is the treatment the same or different. What if I seek treatment for one and I have the other

Thanks guys just need to take stock of the current situation. Had a huge trigger last week resulting in time of work sick. Now having to explore if I have a personality disorder but know I can not go diagnosing my self so I just feel like a mystery to my self. Work has been patient so far but...

I feel like right. Now the only thing stopping me from destroying my self is how it will affect some other people.

indeed I need to go and talk to the proffessionals

Hey guys strongly beginning to realise how most of my life to varying degrees I have actually had what seems to be bdp. Knowing this makes sense of so many years. The self harm. The drama the volatile relationships. Also scary to the way it's portrayed in the. Movies think fatal attraction and...

thank you I know that very well the possessed was my mother I know it was sad that person I had to run away from was my own mother...she dead now and I still feel like I am trying to escape her

As I am becoming more embodied I am aware of all this trapped anger in my system..even if I do things like yoga and relaxation excercies they can only have a tempory relief as all the anger is kind of frozen in my system..as its a very somatic thing talking seems pointless.

The demon heroin is all powerful . I have been judged guilty by association. its taken away my home my family I still don't know if it will take my life and I never touched the stuff just someone I knew did

It's true what you say the fact I am having to think about so much says to me there is some fear. I guess I am scared of ending up on a slippery slope again. My healing process is not complete enough yet. It's way to risky at this time in my life. I still dont know yet if I am someone who can...

Thanks. Guys I have come to a decision. I have realised it's not a good. Idea to consider. Right now. I should. Preserve my abstinence. Right now. Just because. I feel a little. Bit better must not lure my self in to false sense. Of security. I am still working. On many obstacles. At the same...