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When I was in the strict religious cult growing up and into my early 20s, the cult kinda shielded me from the rest of the world, like a superficial security blanket. While there was a lot of fear in the cult and a focus on armageddon there was also a focus on paradise earth where we would live...

A hug and a shoulder to cry on. When I finally do get a hug and a shoulder to cry on, I am numb. Cuz I should have recieved a genuine hug and a shoulder to cry on a looong time ago. Now it's too late.

Thank you. This makes sense

I agree with what you said. Being brainwashed. I also think that many who are addicted to a substance, turn to cults to somehow cure them or looking for answers and their kids end up becoming a product of their issues or addictions but in a cult, if that makes sense. And if the parents take...

I can totally relate to that. Are people going to like me when I'm OK. And now what do I do with my life now that I am "Ok".

Because your mother is insane? If she is abusive or belittling towards you, she obviously has issues and making it seem like you're the one who is crazy. I've witnessed this before and it is totally unfair for the child in the situation

Do you ever struggle with being ostracized for a variety of reasons and feel totally misunderstood and wish you could overcome this and get rid of the awful feelings of being rejected? I do for sure. And it sucks so bad! I am still working on overcoming this. I grew up in a weird family for...

Background info first: I've shared before. I grew up in a strict religion that some cult experts consider either a cult or high control group. I didn't like being part of it growing up because it separated me from family members, class mates, etc. But, I totally fell for all the religion's BS...

I notice I self sabotage sometimes, in small ways and big ways. And when does this happen? When I am starting to feel happy, calm, untriggered and a good place in life. When I have barely any problems and things are going good, I start to feel lonely. And I also start almost wanting the sad PTSD...

Sorry that happened to you. I can relate. Hugs

So true Eve. Thank you Thank you for sharing. It's definitely been a learning process since leaving. The whole God thing is scary to me right now and am in limbo with that, which Im Ok with. Now I'm dealing with the aftermath of the guilt and shame of leaving and self-sabotage and am learning...

f*ck you! I hate you God!. This may be offensive to some and I am sorry. I don't want to interfere with anyone's faith. But this is how I feel right now with my former faith. It has caused a lot of pain and because of it, I have a sh#t ton of anger towards a God and the former strict religion I...

When life is crazy, it's definitely harder to stay stable especially with unexpected, added stress. I've definitely done that too, overshared. In the past, I've done that when I can't hide my PTSD symptoms but I don't want to look crazy to unstable, so then I would start to overshare to...

There are a variety of things that hold us back from truly healing and figuring out what it is, is essential. Fear, shame, lack of support or lack of validation, an addiction, untrustworthy people, etc. I personally found myself holding back my own recovery because I wanted someone to genuinely...

Or they make assumptions that just because you have your shit together because you are a responsible person and work hard, that your life must be perfect. Really... You don't know my life story so stop judging me b#tch! I hate people like that.

Yeah, and I need to stop beating myself up. I think I beat myself up because I got sick and tired of always being positive and strong no matter what I went through and putting up with other people's bullshit. And yes, for some reason, once PTSD is in the mix, all the fake friends either take...

Welcome. This is a very nice, non-judgemental and validating forum. Excellent for when you don't have anyone to talk to but need to vent or find people going through similar things.

It seems that many of the people I was surrounded by were very negative and always had sooo much drama in their lives and if you were a happy, positive person, you didn't fit in. I remember hiding my joy and excitement sometimes just to fit in.

I guess I'm just tired and disappointed. I figured my friends would be happy to see the positive changes in me and my life. But I guess not. I had a LOT of crazy people in my life when I was growing up in that cult. And a LOT of hypocrisy. I still kept faithfully going and trying to be a good...

It's just frustrating when you tap into your survival skills to keep breathing everyday and try to look at the positives to keep you going with people around you who complain about the lamest shit and act all cool with their bad attitudes while you are struggling to make a living with PTSD and...

I have taken my once positive attitude and determined spirit to fight to rise above it all and I have pushed it all down. I have suffocated the real me and hurt and criticized myself and the positive part of me. I have destroyed my once good self esteem and idealism. What have I done to myself...

Space is very necessary sometimes and it's definitely not selfish. True friends should understand this. It's tiring when you don't take care of yourself and your needs

Anyone have issues with self sabotage? What about allowing toxic people finally get to you when you realise people that were supposedly care about you, aren't happy for you when you are healing PTSD symptoms and you finally more at peace with yourself and your life yet are tired of being strong...

Sometimes emotional numbness is harder to deal with than having strong painful feelings. I've had a difficult time feeling as well. I'm finding working with my therapist whom I trust helps a lot. I'm doing EMDR with her and it's helping me as well. I've been able to figure out my feelings about...

I've gone through about ten before I found the right one and she is awesome