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thank you everyone

I am working with my T on my CSA and well I'm poking the sleeping bear. A random chair in a pic I saw made me feel something terrible. I started crying and feeling like I was going to vomit. I'm having these thoughts that I don't want to think about. I keep pushing them away. I feel scared. I...

Not sure this is best advice but gonna give it a try. I don't know you but you must be hurting over stuff that has happened or is happening to you and I want to say that I'm sorry. I know how hard it is to feel better for me at times. If I have a lot of chances to be alone or time to myself it...

I dont know if i am helping. Thank you for sharing. You can get through this. Do you like chewing gum? Do you have any to chew? If you did what would it be? Does it taste good, is it nice chewing on something, is bubble gum a good tool to use for imagining a yummy scent under your nose. I dont...

You have your phone with you, do you have calming meditative music on it, what kind of music do you have on your phone, what music do you like, pick something, skip it and pick something else until you like it, dont forget to breath, play a game on your phone like words with friends something...

Turn on a light, sleep with a light on, what light will you turn on, where is it in your room, how will you get to the light to turn it on, will your feet touch the ground...

Imagine something you like, perhaps a tree in the fall time of year. Think about that tree, how does it look, is the sun shining on it, are the leaves different colors, imagine you pick up a leaf, what's it feel like, what's it smell like outside by the tree, is it a climbing tree, D you climb...

Your reaction with aggression and rage is what you should work on I think. If she wants to save marriage too, she also needs to work on her anger too. I do think you should leave the house when you think you are going to hit her with a cheeseburger or a can. I do think you both need to recognize...

I'm being honest...you should leave the house...blame only yourself for physically abusing her...and work with your counselor...do not control her...do not hit her ever again...you can not be sure that you won't do it again.

so sorry!

Spent all but maybe an hour or two tops out of bed today. Maybe that's what I needed. Putting focus on others post helped me too today and I may not have done so if I wasn't in bed most of today. Trying to look at the bright side.

It's too bad you couldn't just explain that to him, just what you explained to me and have him just be understanding that you can't pin point it, you know. Not that your asking him to change, just that you felt uneasy about something. But it might b easier to talk about with your T around if...

I'm very sorry to hear, for you. The downs are harder to get through too I think, on a roller coast, in life. I know my brother died, I wished for awhile that it was my dad instead, which made me feel guilty too on top of full of grief. He was the glue in my family. I felt lost with out him for...

I'm sorry to hear that, right now I'm having trouble breathing at my job too. I often listen to music but I wish people didn't need ne at work, perhaps that's everyone's dream. Work is so much harder for me this past year since I started having memories, flashbacks and nightmares of CSA. Blah...

I know how it feels to think it's minor or stupid to be upset over but it's not. I feel like I've programmed myself to minimize my own trauma or pain as a defense, putting the wall up too has been a defense mechanism for me. It's scary, my advice is if you did it once, you can do it again even...

Write, a good purpose is to write like you are doing. Talk about it. We want to hear we are not alone.

I did stuff, small amount, made me feel real a bit, however I just don't like myself right now so I'm sure that's a huge part of this. I keep thinking maybe if I had the time to hibernate a week and not try so hard, if I had the luxury to do that, but having a routine helps me. I just feel tired...

I will try that!

thanks, working on that even tho it just feels like a robot

Depressed. Don't find enjoyment in things I have before. I feel like a different person anymore. I have to find my creative spirit again. Any ideas?

I feel similar but also feel strongly that I am not alone In feeling all of my feelings when it comes to any type of my trauma. I'm a survivor and I know that's what I will do, survive. But similar to you I do wonder what it looks like after therapy like what a life looks like differently than...

Flooded is a good word to use, things in my mind that I want to forget but you said some good things to remind me of what ends up resulting from it. Feeling less flooded now, using meditation, breathing techniques and grounding myself using all my senses. Trying to forget triggers because I...

Tonight I want to take more medication than prescribed, sedatives, to forget. Sometimes I just need to break.

I had a panic attack over a very loud ticking clock once. Wanted to smash it. I don't know why. Smelled garage smell, oil and grease on a client, almost threw up, dad worked in a garage. Saw the name of someone who raped me written down once and for hours couldn't do anything, didn't know why...

I've had this convo with my T about confronting. She suggested I say one thing, my body remembers or I remember. Perhaps wishful thinking that's all I would need to say to put fear in someone else but that's what my T was getting at. Once that fear in your dad is there, it may not be obvious but...