Hey Jnean,
I understand that feeling, though - that kind of relief, if going well, would still have two disadvantages minimum: that oblivion would be short lasting and not really solving any of the underlying issues that make it hard to deal now, the other one being physical sickness and feeling more like crap after you get through it.
And there's a risk of not getting through it. Not really your goal, it's some different place altogether.
So, what can help you feel less flooded, other than pills? What makes you feel right now is a good time, and past creep into it less?