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First you do need to focus and take care of yourself. I have been going to Al Anon because my ex was a workaholic and I was emotionally neglected and abused. Now I am dating an Alcoholic that has been sober 30 yrs. I didn't know he was an Alcoholic when I met him but he has always been honest...

"Declaring war on isolation". Now that states it. At his age he doesn't go away and isolate physically but emotionally not dealing with certain things is isolation. And these can be minor things I bring up. And it will all depend on what kind of mood he is in. I saw him yesterday for a short...

I divorced my workaholic husband and met a Vet with ptsd that I didn't realize was also an Alcoholic. He has been sober 30 years but he would tell anyone it is a day to day struggle. And it is for me to to have patience with him and to know I can't fix him. I can only take care of myself. He...

And yes I feel anxious and nervous all the time not knowing what is going to happen. I know I have it a lot easier than many on here. But his mood swings feel like a roller coaster ride. A few weeks ago something upset him about the news or something and he threw something across the room. He's...

My Average day? Well good for both of us we are not married and live apart. Both have been divorced. It helps for us to have a few days apart from each other after we're together. When I first met him he was different and I thought there would be a chance at marriage but although he told me...

I know what you mean. I had a rough few nights with my Vet recently and coming on here has been such a blessing when I have felt so awful. You feel like you are trying so hard and then you do or say something when they don't feel good and he blows it way out of proportion. Really hard to know...

Yeah, my Vet was in Vietnam and I'm not sure he received any kind of treatment for it besides being on anti-depressants and something else but nothing really strong. He acknowledges he has it but talks to me more about what bothers him because he doesn't trust the counselor and psychiatrist at...

I think overall it does get somewhat easier. But I started going to Al Anon in September because he is also an Alcoholic so what I have learned there has been invaluable in dealing with him and learning not to react at things he will say. But I still get so frustrated and will ask him something...

Yeah, flexibility and no set expectations are definitely a requirement to make this kind of relationship work. When something like that Oregon shooting happens he will say things like "This is the beginning.... we can't stop it." I just don't react anymore. Going to Al-Anon has helped me a lot...

You will get a lot of support and wisdom on how to deal best with you fiance on this forum. I knew my Vet had ptsd but I couldn't understand at all some of his behavior. So many frequent highs and lows. I am so glad I found this sight where many have helped to make sense of his behavior and...

No thinking about it more the affection is really not the issue. It's his undivided attention I am wanting and because of that insecurity I think I want the affection to reaffirm his love towards me. Yes sometimes I can get his attention more than others. He usually will mute the TV if I want to...

I guess for me the physical affection is the main problem. Or that he doesn't try to compromise. It's hard to say. I guess we have gotten in this conflict over he thinks I can't understand why he is holding back so he won't get any discomfort and I feel he doesn't understand my need for...

Yeah, I guess so and I just posted something on an Alcoholism forum and someone just had to give their opinion that didn't I deserve better. That I was writing all about his issues and what about myself. I don't think they can understand fully with the ptsd in the mix what I am trying to deal...

Glad you are here. After divorcing my ex of 30 yrs. I met what I think is the love of my life. He knows me better than my ex ever cared to and we can have such fun together even though he is 15 yrs older than me. It has been a little over 1 1/2 yrs that I first met him at McDonald's because our...

He finally will get to a point sometimes and admit that watching the news is not good for him. I think he will get obsessed about something going on and watch it a lot like about the election and then get fed up and stop watching it. When he says these things I just don't comment at all...

Well, I put as my topic 'I don't know if I can love him anymore'. It's not really that. I do really. It's just do I need to try and disconnect emotionally some to protect myself. He says nothing has changed between us but I don't know it's hard to explain.

This will be hard to explain because he is so complicated with so many issues. I knew our age difference him being 15 yrs older than me could have its difficulties but tonight's discussion makes me wonder if I should just try to emotionally hold back my feelings for him and try to think of him...

This is a good subject. I really don't think my Vet wants to be happy. He is also a recovering Alcoholic and has been sober 30 yrs. He went through AA but did he really get what he needed from the program. If so why is he so miserable part of the time now. I have depression and have been where I...

My guy I thought was really logical too but not when it comes to the terrorists and their activities. Even when he is not really depressed he will mention statements like our country doesn't have much longer. I should have just not responded to him at all last night. Because I don't get as upset...

Holidays are just worse for my boyfriend Vet. I think because of what happened in Paris it has made him more depressed and worried because he says that he 'knows' we are next and won't 'last another year'. It's so hard to hear these types of irrational statements and not respond. I guess I...

He wasn't in combat. He worked on plane navigation systems but from what he has told me he did see very much of trauma going on over there. It could have very well started his drinking for him to try to numb it all while he was there. I guess I never thought that they could drink every night and...

I know you have a point but it is really hard to say. How much can it be his personality? I think he has some social anxiety. I don't know if he is just a really negative person that at his age believing he is just getting older and not much he can do about any of it. He started drinking in...

I know this but struggle if he uses his problems as an excuse not to make an effort to do the things we use to do in our relationship like going out sometimes for an example. I do accept him but knowing he used to act one way and changed is what the issue is here. I understand depression because...

He takes medication for his depression and sees a counselor but No he's not getting treatment for his ptsd. Well if he would tell the counselor everything that is bothering him it would help but he doesn't trust the VA so I think I am basically the only one that really knows how he is feeling...

Just post whatever you are feeling. Sometimes I post not really expecting a response or asking for one. It just really helps to 'get it all out'. Mine is also an Alcoholic so I started Al-Anon 3 mos ago. Taking care of myself and my serenity has helped me more than anything. I can't fix him. It...