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My mother was very emotionally distant to her family (it was her way of avoiding intimidation by my father), and I was physically abused by my father when I was very young. For me to reach out to either of them was terrifying, and then this became the pattern of my life. I craved touch and...

I'm so sorry. That is a hard thing to experience, I am sure. I have had two types of therapy that didn't work (psychoanalytical, and then some body/breathing work) before I found the right combination. Do you think you were ready for EMDR? That modality can be frightening if you are not yet...

Joint effort to make dinner. I made a salad and small white beans with rosemary, garlic, and olive oil, and some couscous with thyme. Son made broccoli and some chicken for him and Mrs. W. Daughter made sauteed mushrooms to put in the couscous. After dinner, dessert for me was two Oreo cookies.

An apple and a slice of toasted cinnamon raisin bread, with some peanut butter on top.

Yes! What your partner feels right now might be part of a process of grief for him at what happened to you.

I have a different version of this. When one of my dissociative parts is causing me distress, I can often figure out who it is by eliminating all the parts that are resting or feeling fine.

This is a very, very common thought, and it's not at all true. A difficulty is that there are many therapists who say they work with trauma, but they don't have the necessary background. You might need to look a while to find the right one. An experienced therapist that truly specializes in...

Don't take what I'm going to say as solid advice! I'm not sure about this. My therapist has done things, intentionally or unintentionally, that have caused me to be anxious or triggered. I've also done things in her office that I know would push my limits and possibly trigger me. There's an...

I have parallels-- born 2 month premature, & spent my first few days of life in an incubator whacked on the back at age 18 months, got a peanut stuck in my throat, got pneumonia, and spent a few days at the hospital very poor parent-child bonding Just saying that one can recover from this, if...

Welcome to the forum! Post as much or as little as you like. Best wishes to you on your path of healing.

Have you considered EMDR with someone who has worked with dissociative patients? That modality works even if you don't go back to the trauma itself. My primary trauma happened when I was so young that I don't remember any of it. The EMDR I do brings up experiences of the flashbacks and fears...

Hugs, for you @Gwaihir . I'm sorry you haven't been able to see anyone. I get confused about what is the healthiest amount of isolation for me. :hug: :hug:

Asking for almost anything brings up feelings of not deserving it, fears of being hit for asking for something that is not allowed, and shame. Those feelings lead to a deep mistrust and fear of people, and I would avoid doing things that I wanted to avoid those feelings. What do I do about it...

Big steps for you both! I wish you healing and peace.

Yes. My therapist says that bringing our feelings to the light of day is the most important thing.

I know how sad that is, @whiteraven . Pets mean so much. Lots of hugs.

Do you have a broader selection of therapists available now? I ask because I've had friends on this forum who did EMDR for trauma with therapists that didn't know a lot about trauma, and it was a mess. And I've had friends and myself who've have had good success with the right therapists.

@lee23, imagining giving you a gentle hug, and then sitting by you and holding hands.

EMDR has worked for me for CPTSD. In my case, it has been important to do about 1/2 EMDR and 1/2 trauma-based talking therapy. With CPTSD, my impression is that EMDR can work wonders, but it's also possible to do too much too soon. When you say "traditional therapy," was that a therapist with...

Congratulations on having the strength to do this!

We will give both your adult part and your child part big hugs!

You have a good perspective on where you are! Yes, I understand the 'That's it, it's over, she's cured' part--that's in my life, too. Good luck.

I will ask quietly, twice, and give you a hug when I see a very tiny nod.

We all deserve to get through life without high levels of anxiety. Think of having PTSD and DID as if you had a bad back, or bad knees. After surgery or physical therapy, you learn to do strengthening and stretching exercises that stabilize your joints and keep you functional. You do them...

Congratulations! Yes, it does feel good when we can think of something to do, and then do it.