Opinions on EMDR and other treatments

[RussellSue]

I haven't done EMDR before but it was suggested to me. I just moved to Portland, OR in 2019 from the middle of nowhere where many services such as EMDR were not available. All in all, I have spent 15 years in therapy plus the school counselor in grade school but it was also suggested that general therapy may not have been my best option considering my CPTSD, level of chronic anxiety and length of disability. I suspect I developed PTSD in my formative years and I am 40 now. I have been working but I consider my employer just a half step up from the supported employment I have had in the past.

I excelled through online college and graduate school but the moment I look up from my studies to deal with human beings - particularly non-disabled human beings, problems arise and my work does not reflect my education level at all. I even had issues with classmates while going to school online. Medications muffle the noise some but at my core, I'm guarded and suspicious of people - probably in large part because my family and others failed me in multiple ways as I grew up and I was built to expect the worst. Just to clarify, I was born with a severe cleft lip and palate - the entire world was shitty until I had my 15th surgery and they started being nice (I was 15 years old). The sudden niceness didn't console me - I think I just got more angry. Therapy did nothing to improve my feelings on that - I only became more aware of it and more willing to admit it. I've never been diagnosed with a personality disorder, though I have often wondered why. But then I guess if I think I have a personality disorder, maybe I don't?

My husband says without reservation that I don't have a personality disorder - I just don't like assholes. That's fine but it would still be nice to be able to get along with them for the sake of my own progress.

I don't really know what is out there as far as treatment is concerned outside of traditional therapy and pills, so I am providing some background and asking what has worked for you and/or what have you heard of that might be helpful for someone with my problems. I'm not really sure how long I will be able to stand living in a real city so I have been asking myself what resources I ought to reach out for while I still can. I just realized this might be a very good place to ask.

Thanks!

 

[MrMoonlight]

Glad you found this place and welcome. So sorry you have been fighting for so long, it must be exhausting. I've been doing EMDR for a bit and think it worthwhile. H?elps to process. I hope you can find a good trauma therapist that uses the technique. Also, the installation/reinforcement of a safe place before starting EMDR has been an important and valuable part. I access it all the time...just visualizations and meditation but has the ability to quiet my nervous system sometimes.

 

[joeylittle]

This is a useful thread for leaning some of the basics around EMDR.

Do you have a therapist you’re working with now (or were working with, before the pandemic?)

 

[RussellSue]

This is a useful thread for leaning some of the basics around EMDR.

Do you have a therapist you’re working with now (or were working with, before the pandemic?)

Unfortunately, not yet. I had one for several years until May of 2019 when I moved. After looking for what felt like forever for a therapist who took my insurance here, I found one and then my insurance changed and I was no longer able to see her. I'm working on trying to find a new one.

 

[RussellSue]

This is a useful thread for leaning some of the basics around EMDR.

Do you have a therapist you’re working with now (or were working with, before the pandemic?)

I got a chance to look at that link. Thank you! There was a lot of good information in the Q&A. I'm really hoping I can either find an EMDR therapist who takes my insurance or that my insurance changes again and then I can find one - either way.

 

[Wendell_R]

EMDR has worked for me for CPTSD. In my case, it has been important to do about 1/2 EMDR and 1/2 trauma-based talking therapy. With CPTSD, my impression is that EMDR can work wonders, but it's also possible to do too much too soon. When you say "traditional therapy," was that a therapist with trauma expertise?

 

[RussellSue]

EMDR has worked for me for CPTSD. In my case, it has been important to do about 1/2 EMDR and 1/2 trauma-based talking therapy. With CPTSD, my impression is that EMDR can work wonders, but it's also possible to do too much too soon. When you say "traditional therapy," was that a therapist with trauma expertise?

That's a good question. I have had a handful of therapists through the years but what they specialized in is hard to say. I moved to the middle of nowhere when I was 25 and any sort of therapy was hard to come by, so I got what was there. That did encompass the vast majority of my therapy and I assume that trauma was not a specialization for most of them.

 

[Wendell_R]

Do you have a broader selection of therapists available now? I ask because I've had friends on this forum who did EMDR for trauma with therapists that didn't know a lot about trauma, and it was a mess. And I've had friends and myself who've have had good success with the right therapists.

 

[RussellSue]

I hope so! The problem now is that all I have for insurance is Medicare and a supplement. It's sort of discouraging. I may just have to wait things out and see if my Social Security gets reinstated so I can have another change in insurance because I am not sure I can do away with medicaid once I get it back. So if I find a therapist now, I probably won't get to keep him or her because no one wants to bill medicaid and Medicare around here. Thanks for the heads about finding a therapist with trauma experience, though. Hopefully I'll have more than one person to choose from when the time comes. Right now it seems even those who take Medicare are just not calling people back until they open their offices back up for normal visits.

 

[Friday]

...no one wants to bill medicaid and Medicare around here.

But if you bill them yourself, just having your T sign the slips, will Medicaid & Medicare reimburse you?

 

[RussellSue]

But if you bill them yourself, just having your T sign the slips, will Medicaid & Medicare reimburse you?

Can I do that? Really? I know nothing about this.

 

[Mach123]

Good luck I understand. Failure to flourish. I heard it called that and I understood at once? I got off drugs and went to school. I had problems with people, but it was the first positive environment I’d ever been in. I could test fairly well, and I was an a - b + student. I liked school. Everyone told me I’d do well and I believed it. But having to deal with people in the real world outside the supportive school environment? Getting a degree hadn’t changed anything. I had no idea back then what was going on with me.
Can it be fixed by anything currently available? IDK. Most alternative therapy is expensive and insurance won’t pay for it. I’m treading water. I’m grateful for that. Therapy has helped me feel better. Treading water beats sinking. But the real problem like you said is the inability to deal with others. I haven’t gotten a whole lot better at that.