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  1. S

    My dog died today

    My veteran’ mare had a still born foal. He felt he should have done something different. About two months later his service dog was killed by a brown snake. We spent $2500 in vet bills trying to save her but she couldn’t be saved. Again, he felt it was his fault. I know for him these are major...
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    Emerg Services Still certain i am to blame

    If it helps at all - you are not alone in feeling this way. My partner describes it as a constant itch in his head - that he should have / could have done something more which would have changed the outcome. Its not factually true - he did everything he could. We recently met up with someone...
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    General Trying to educate the medical profession - let alone the public!

    I telephoned the clinic and asked them. They told me to address the complaint to the DON.
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    General Trying to educate the medical profession - let alone the public!

    The doctor had the guts to telephone and personally apologise. He said that he was trying to build rapport and "destigmatise and normalise" PTSD. My vet handled it really well. He said "I appreciate the apology and I understand where you are coming from but can you understand how those...
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    General Trying to educate the medical profession - let alone the public!

    Interestingly, my vet has confirmed that the nursing staff had already sensitively enquired as to whether he was likely to "come up fighting" from the sedation and whether there was anything they should be aware of due to his PTSD. Assuming that old mate doc was given this information on...
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    General Trying to educate the medical profession - let alone the public!

    Ah @Friday - you give me hope! My daughter at 13 was old enough to be treated in the adult hospital. Lucky us. The surgeon told me I could stay with her overnight even in ICU. The ICU staff were horrified and told me I had to go home. I told them that there was no way in hell I was leaving...
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    General Trying to educate the medical profession - let alone the public!

    @Sweetpea76 - I keep telling my vet to lean in and whisper "Not yetttt". :ninja: Seems to me people fall into two categories - those with morbid curiosity who ask those sorts of questions and stop to gawk at car accidents and those who just don't understand WHY anyone would do those things. I...
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    General Trying to educate the medical profession - let alone the public!

    @anon1234 - I can't count the number of times I've heard the following conversation: Stranger: So, what do you do for a living? Vet: I'm a retired infantry soldier. Stranger: Oh. [small pause]. So... have you ever killed anybody? :rolleyes::banghead::sour:
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    General Trying to educate the medical profession - let alone the public!

    Maybe it's more of a medical professional thing? My daughter had to undergo major spinal surgery at the age of 13 and I stayed in the hospital with her and had SO many arguments with the staff (both nursing and medical) about her autism. As you mentioned "a complete dismissal" of what I had...
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    General Trying to educate the medical profession - let alone the public!

    @shimmerz - I understand questions along the lines of 'I understand that you have PTSD. Has that caused you to have a poor reaction when awakening from sedation? Is there anything we can do or should know to help you in dealing with this medical procedure?" I'm fine with that. But, "So, how...
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    General Trying to educate the medical profession - let alone the public!

    Dear Director of Nursing, As discussed by telephone today, my partner X underwent an Endoscopy on Thursday 15 March 2018 performed by Dr L. X is a combat veteran who has been medically retired due to PTSD. While placing X under sedation, the doctor administering the medication asked him what...
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    Relationship Do they come back after long isolation period?

    This is up to you. Its your decision how long your "partner" can vanish for before you call it a day. Personally, over a month with NO contact? As far as I am concerned it would be over for me.
  13. S

    Make the pain stop. bad relationship, bad breakup, stuck.

    @Friday has already asked, but you haven't responded. Did you have PTSD before you met this man? What you have described is not a Criterion A trauma and therefore by definition cannot cause PTSD. This is a forum for PTSD sufferers and their supporters.
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    Relationship Trust and betrayal

    I'm in a fortunate position. We are not married. We have no children together. I am financially independent of him. (Would it be hard to manage financially on my own - yes, but with some more or less significant lifestyle changes it could be done.) And, as I was reminded here there is no...
  15. S

    Relationship Trust and betrayal

    His behaviour is partly PTSD lashing out but far more often 25 years of military culture. He was a senior NCO. That's how he speaks to people. Not just me. It doesn't always go down well on civvy street! :rolleyes: Things have shifted though. In the past there was an element of hero...
  16. S

    General Fiancee has ptsd, i try to help, what to do when my best isn’t enough?

    Gee, I don't know. Maybe actual mediation and professional therapy?
  17. S

    Relationship Trust and betrayal

    The ex invited us out to dinner in town. Without asking me he invited them to our place for dinner. He then invited the lad to stay during the dinner. No asking me beforehand.
  18. S

    Relationship Trust and betrayal

    He's still being lovely (well, apart from telling me to shut the f*ck up last night) and I feel really sad that I am not enjoying it. After last year things were so tenuous between us that I could only have dreamt of the loving affection I'm getting at the moment. But I'm still cold to it...
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    Relationship Trust and betrayal

    So after a couple of weeks of being sweet as pie he reverted to type last night and told me to shut the f*ck up. I told him to jam it up his arse. He doesn't want to talk about this anymore. He said "how long do I have to pay the piper for? I never even touched the woman!" I left him to it...
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    Relationship Trust and betrayal

    I guess that's why I'm so upset. In the past, it's been (too) easy to excuse his shitty behaviour as being related to his PTSD. But this? This has nothing to do with his PTSD. This is simply hypocritical double standards at play. Its do as I say not as I do. And it's just garden variety...
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    Relationship Trust and betrayal

    So... I've been with my veteran for nearly five years. We've been living together for four years. In that time he has been verbally abusive and on one occasion physically abusive. He has always had old fashioned ideas of appropriate behaviour between men and women. He has always said that...
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    Relationship Overnight child custody help!

    PTSD cannot be cured. There is no treatment that will guarantee that he never again has a night terror. Medication to stop him lashing out would essentially render him unconscious for the night meaning the child would have NO supervision. You need to accept that he has a medical condition...
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    Need input on handout about service dogs

    We have a dog that is a rescue and has PTSD himself. You would be amazed how many times we get asked "Can I pat your dog?" and then when we say no - he bites they want to argue about how well they know dogs and how he won't bite them etc etc. Then when you say - really? cos he's bitten us...
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    Relationship Helping with partner's triggers

    Boundaries are one of the most difficult concepts to get your head around and the most difficult to "enforce". Boundaries are for you. Not for others. So its not a case of enforcing them - it's a case of following through with them. An ultimatum is "If you hurt the dog again you have to move...
  25. S

    Perceptions, reality and ptsd - sufferer input please!

    Nope. And his psychiatrist who he has been seeing on and off for ten years is retiring at the end of this year...
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