She is back to holding him, loving him, etc. I don't really know how to gauge the dog as a trigger (and the extent of the dog as a trigger) in this circumstance, so any perspective on that would be valued.
People with childhood trauma are often triggered by their own children. Cops & Vets by the job they love more than anything else in the world. Rape victims whilst having sex with their beloved. PTSD really isn’t a “fair” condition. It tends to strike us the hardest where we want it to touch us the least.
PTSD is basically a super simple disorder. If you haven’t read it, yet? DO read the Stress Cup article.
The effects of trauma, though? Those get complicated as hell.
I’m a combat vet. No matter how many traumas I added on later, I always seem to revert back to that as my base. But the later traumas added things. I have also been held captive and tortured. One of the common side effects of
that particular trauma is never ever ever ever letting the people around you know what hurts the most / what you care about the most if you can in any way avoid it. Because, in torture & interrogation, that’s used against you. Adding that quirk with the PTSD symptom of avoidance? :wtf: Shit tends to come out sideways an awful lot.
To use a lesser example, I absolutely hate / loathe / abhor living in the dark. Part of that is from when I was in a concrete box in the dark for too long. Part of that is military stuff. Part of it is from a few other places. Regardless? It’s a constant stressor for me whenever I’m at my parents house, because they save on electricity by shutting the lights off constantly. I spent a few hundred dollars replacing all their bulbs with the super low wattage/bright start, ones so every light could be left on 24/7 and still cost them less than only 1 light on at the time. They. Still. Keep. Shutting. Off. The. Damn. Lights. :banghead:
It’s their house. They can shut off the lights. I get that.
Have I ever blown up with them about the lights? Nope! Every other topic under the sun, but the lights are reeeeeeeally important to me, so I don’t talk about it. I don’t even blow up “about” the lights (yes I do, but they don’t know that). 99% of the rime when I am losing my shit over the lights, the very LAST thing I will mention as being part of the problem are the lights. Everything else under the sun will come out, first. The 1% of the time I do go there? It’s not like I try and sneak it in, so it won’t be noticed, but old habits mean I usually bury the hell out of it, with every topic under the sun, first, and then drag them all out again to hide it even better afterwards.
I am very much NOT saying that your beloved can never have a dog. I have dog issues in spades (shooting dogs in the military, watching people be tortured with dogs whilst held captive, feral dogs packing up working with NGOs, human remains torn apart by said dogs, watching dogs suffer and die, being responsible for another)... I can get a little sideways about dogs... the same way I can get a little sideways about lights. The same way people can get sideways about their kids, or sex, or any number of things. Most of the time I’m perfectly happy with the lights shut off (I just can’t live with them off), I don’t keep every light on 24/7. My dog was my best -and for a long time my only- friend.
Triggers & Stressors? It very much doesn’t mean we don’t love them, or want them in our lives. It does mean we have to be pretty deliberate about how we handle things.
Simple disorder + complicated side effects = special handling required
In addition to the stress cup article above
International Rehabilitation Council for Torture victims
http://www.irct.org
& a list of their counseling programs & treatment facilities by region. Over 140 worldwide.
http://www.irct.org/about-us/the-members/find-irct-members/all-members-by-region.aspx
