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This literally just happened to me over the past week. It is super hard and I have to lean really hard into what I know versus what I feel. I also have to ask a lot of really "stupid" questions of him until I feel okay - like, are we okay? Are you angry that I was hurt? Do you hate be know? I...

It sounds like a panic attack.

I am going to give you a bit of advice, and ask that you bear with me.... I don't think it is very healthy or good for you to have this level of communication with your T. I am only basing that on the information you have given - the back and forth, and you assuming his intentions, etc. It is...

I think these are great suggestions. I also wanted to ask how long it has been since you moved to 1x per week. I think it makes sense that the initial transition could be really hard, and you would expect some reaction, but I guess the question remains when is it a normal reaction to transition...

I could have written this thread myself many, many times. What you are feeling is okay. And it should also be okay for you to bring this to your therapist. To tell her, I was really hurt that it took you so long to get it. The situation is causing me to feel (insert emotion here) or think...

Good for you! Accepting that we need help - and working towards really trusting that person - is such a huge step!

I know those feelings as well and am actually going through that a bit myself as T has been out sick. For me, what is helpful is to acknowledge, both to myself and him, that I FEEL like he left me. I know he actually didn't. I know that he doesn't have any negative feelings towards me, but I...

What about it specifically is making it hard?

@Shells I gotta say, your post gave me SO MUCH to think about. I processed a bit of it with my T this morning and I realized that this "step" has really been born out of this obligation that I feel to tell him what happened. It's as if I need him to know everything to have the reassurance that...

Thanks @Shells i just wanted to understand where you were coming from, I appreciate you elaborating for me. I'm really happy you have been able to process your traumas, I hope to get there.

Yes. I wonder this all the time, like, was that really me? For me, it may be a form of denial. I don't know that a therapist would be able to know either...

Drained Irritable A bit anxious Sad Worried

@Shells Why do you think the details would be harmful? My husband knows that there was sexual abuse - but what I am looking to tell him are the details....

For me, the absolute most important thing for my T was that there was a connection there and a genuine feeling that he cared about me. Of course, this comes after knowing he can handle "my stuff" - but for me it has been all about the relationship that we have built, the safety I feel in that...

Thank you all, SO much... @Kiki Yes, I am continuing to remind myself that I am going in to a scary situation with two people who really care about me. It is also good, for my husband, that T will be there in case I do panic or dissociate, as I know my husband could potentially feel helpless in...

Hi everyone. I am finally feeling ready to disclose the details of the sexual abuse to my husband, and so I made a session for him to come in with my T present. I am terrified. I AM ready - it is hard for me that he doesn't know and I want him to - I just wish I could skip over the part where I...

I definitely understand how hard that would be - I see my T 2x per week and if we had to reduce it, that would be hard for me as well. If you love your T, I would suggest you try to make 1x per week work....and if you find that it doesn't, then make a move. Finding a T that you really like can...

I actually disagree with you. Therapists are people too and they make mistakes. I'm not saying that they should get away with anything, but they will at times say the wrong thing or trigger us. I think repairing the relationship with a therapist can model what a relationship should be - being...

Yep - I get it, I am just saying that you may not realize that is what is happened and it feels like a "sixth sense" - not trying to invalidate your experience.

Wow, I am so sorry. I can understand why that is so hurtful to you, I know I would be crushed and it would take time to regain trust.

It's not fair. Unfortunately. I know it sucks, I do....

I completely understand why you feel so fearful, after all he is triggering stuff from your rapist, but so good that you are to a place where you want to take back some control. My husband and I stopped having sex in November, because I was getting so triggered and it just wasn't healthy for...

To you go to therapy? I am also wondering if you might benefit from doing something like DBT to help you feel a bit more in control.

That sounds so difficult @NightSky - I really do hope that you continue to bring these things to therapy. I know it can't be easy and hear how frustrating it is for you that you can't receive, but don't give up because it doesn't sound like your T is.

Yes @Friday !!! My T supports me by the space he gives me - space to be me, in all of the raw and real pain, and to receive love and care where I don't think it's possible. I wonder if right now, you need an additional check-in once a week? Or ask for email correspondence. But overall...