Walking Out Angry After Therapy

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

I don't have the full details as I was disocciated at the time, but I do know I left therapy very angry and hurt apparently. I like my therapist a lot and she e-mailed afterwards to check in, but I was sound asleep all afternoon and by the time I saw the message she couldn't call. And though I logically understand that she has a commitment in her own life, I am frustrated that she can't call.

I also won't see her again until she is a witness at my appeal hearing for disability. That bothers me because even though she says everything is fine, I can't believe her and it feels like there's unfinished business between us. Again, I logically know she's speaking the truth and that all will be well, but my emotional mind is not allowing me to be convinced of that.

How have other people dealt with leaving therapy angry?

 

[whiteraven]

I have left therapy angry on a number of occasions - most of them recently. I hate being angry, and I really hate being angry with my therapist, so if I can't get whatever the problem is resolved soon after I leave, I am seriously miserable.

Fortunately, we email on a pretty regular basis. I can email him whenever I need or want to, and so when I have a difficult session, I usually spend some time and write about it after, then share what I've written in an email to him. I am far more honest and forthcoming in writing than I am verbally, so usually we find these communications are very helpful in uncovering miscommunications, as well as expressing anger and frustration about things that might have gone unspoken.

I still struggle sometimes, esp. if he doesn't respond when I need him to, but over time I am learning to temper the anger more and more. I don't get nearly as frustrated as I used to.

 

[Freedomfighter]

Well anyone that understands PTSD understands that anger, whether it is a friend, family member or your T.
It takes a long time to work through that.

 

[mrsmegan]

This literally just happened to me over the past week. It is super hard and I have to lean really hard into what I know versus what I feel. I also have to ask a lot of really "stupid" questions of him until I feel okay - like, are we okay? Are you angry that I was hurt? Do you hate be know?

I eventually do always work through it, but it takes work on my end for sure.

 

[Panda Bear]

I've stormed out of therapy a number of times....T, every time is gracious and understanding. With the exception of one incident, where he did get firm with me about my behavior and that was because I not only stormed out....but treated him beyond poorly with my words. And the reason he chose that time to be firm, was because I had the skills to be reasonable and calm...and I was really just being an ass. And I was, and I had hurt him with malicious intent. The other times, we're very early on in our work and I really wasn't present in my mind.

Each time I've left in a huff, I've come back for a second session that same week. Because I'm so out of it, that I truly didn't remember or now what had caused it and I wanted help to calm down. The dissociation would last for days afterwards.

 

[Panda Bear]

@mrsmegan, I always ask the same things too!!

T always tells me that we're okay and if we aren't, he'll always tell me. But I'm always asking if he's mad, angry, or upset with me. It drives my abandonment issues! Terrified that he'll leave me because I was bad.

 

[erigby]

I don't have the full details as I was disocciated at the time, but I do know I left thera...

Yes...difficulties with a therapist you trust are the worst.
For many, it is the only trusting relationship ever known.
It's part of the deal though, no relationship is perfect.
Learning to disagree and reconcile is part of the healing that has to be done.
Poor examples, of what a healthy relationship looks like, are some of the work that must be undone.
I hope you will talk to your therapist about the anger and disagreement.
If he is worth anything, this will be a great opportunity for growth...for both of you.

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

Thank you all for your responses. It really helps to know that I am not alone in this. I e-mailed some with my therapist, but I won't see her for therapy until next Thursday so I am struggling with that. I want to breakdown what happened so I understand it more and that seems harder to do through e-mail. My therapist has been great about it and assures me that she is still there for me and understands that these things happen sometimes.