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Hello AF girlfiriend, I'm glad he is seeking therapy - this is a good sign that he wants to manage his PTSD. Yay! I have no doubt you are worried about him, it's hard not to worry about the ones we love. As women, we want to "fix" that pain they are feeling and when we are shut out we feel...

What is he doing that makes you question whether it is his PTSD or he is a jerk? More information would help answer this question, however there is probably nothing definitive and concrete to say either way. You just have to follow your gut. But no one needs to be abused in any relationship.

Welcome lighthouse! Love the name and picture ~ a beacon of light so your love can find his way. You are wise to seek out answers to these questions and you have come to the right place. See you over in the supporters section! Sisu

Zipperhead, you are one of my most favorites on here - I love your insight from both the male and the military perspective. The things that you have written on here have taught me so much. Please don't second guess yourself - your insight is just what I need to read. :tup:

Thank you Eleanor - I hadn't considered that perspective. I do try to be careful how I word things when he opens up about the guilt he feels. Because I love him, I want to make it all go away. But as you stated, I may be somehow minimilizing his feelings. I love learning new things every day...

My guy is military too. He and I have talked about the guilt he feels many times. Instead of lashing out at me, he tends to turn his anger inward and punishes himself from time to time. If something bad happens to him, his mind tells him that he deserves it because of the things he saw and...

I am both sad and glad that I have found people like you, ProudWife99 and others on this site. It really is a comfort ~ there are so many smart and amazing people and I truly do get a lot out of the stories I read and love to help others by telling my story. AND I must be dating your...

Lillady, I wrote about this a bit on another thread....it's not that he doesn't care, he just "can't" right now. Most of these military guys are VERY caring - who else would risk their life for their country? I would for my children, but I have a hard time wrapping my head around that.....I've...

Hi Lillady, As everyone has said upthread, no one can tell you what to do. My best advice is to follow your gut. Your heart loves him and will do anything to make it work. Your mind will bargain and think - if I do this, he may think that, etc. But your gut doesn't lie. :) Take care! Sisu

Great advice Jen93 and Welcome Stuart!! You have a kind heart and your friend is lucky to have you. :)

(((((Aly_wife))))) I am so sorry you are going through this and feeling so lost and in pain. PTSD just sucks!! He is able to hang with his friends to drink and play video games because it is an escape. No thinking involved - just an auto-piloted escape. Sort of a "brain vacation" if you...

Your guy has unmanaged PTSD - no meds, no counseling and some denial. Because he is unmanaged, all of the "crazy" is whirling around in his mind. He may be experiencing flashbacks, see things that aren't there (IED's, people following him, etc.), nightmares, panic attacks~ he is probably...

I do not believe that love can be turned on and off like a faucet. However, these are military guys who are trained to do just that. I think they can turn off "feeling" those feelings for a period of time, but the love doesn't really go away. He is protecting you from his "evil mind"....these...

((((celia)))) I have been dating a wonderful man with combat PTSD from his military service. We met 5 years ago this May and dated happily for 9 months. I knew he had PTSD from the start, but I never saw any signs or symptoms during those first 9 months. Then everything hit - I didn't even...

First off ~ what?!? He is being sued by a UK NHS Psych ward for a causing bruises to somone while he was in a state of flashbacks.... It's a risk you take by working at a Psych ward....hello, these people aren't here on vacation. (okay sorry - ranted a bit) Anyway, that is awful about the...

Welcome and Thank You for doing what you do! You are smart to recognize this is different than the other fatal accidents you have been to and smart in seeking guidance and help. I do understand wanting to keep it out of the department for now - but is there a way you can talk to a therapist...

Wow, that is a tough one. I try to be encouraging without being enabling ~ but at times it can feel like a balancing act. I, by nature, want to help everyone always....but over the years I have learned that this wasn't beneficial to anyone because in time I would feel depleted and angry. I...

Hello Jen93, I can give you a perspective of a parent, however my kids don't have PTSD but my boyfriend does so I do understand being a carer too. :) As a parent you want only the best for your children....better than you had yourself. You hate to see them struggle with school or friends -...

Hello Sephira, Sorry you are struggling with all of this...it does suck. And honestly, if my guy was ever nasty or constantly angry with me I don't know if I would stay. Little by little that would break me apart in a million little pieces that I may never get back in the right place again...

((((Nicolette)))) My daughters are still young teens - my oldest goes from the junior high to the high school next year and I keep crying about that. You want your child to be successful and live a happy life, but selfishly you still want them with you too. Oh....this parenting job is the...

I too am lucky in my relationship with my guy. In the 5 years we have known each other we have made great strides both together and as individuals. He is my love and my best friend ~ everytime we are together we have a great time no matter what we are doing. And there is always lots of...

Welcome! You have come to the right place to learn and get advice. My boyfriend has combat PTSD too and even though each person in the military got their combat PTSD a different way - they all feel the same things. Your boyfriend being an Army Ranger does not have a different type of PTSD -...

Is he open to reading and learning more about PTSD and how it effects you? If so, there is "The Post Tramatic Stress Relationship" book....its a great resource. It sounds like you have done an amazing job at managing your life with PTSD, so its important for him to understand and be on board...

you learn to appreciate road rage as a comedy routine...all that yelling in the car I now find entertaining. your sense of humor becomes a bit more twisted (see above ref to road rage) :roflmao:

you become an expert at body language and facial expressions - and know exactly what kind of day you are going to have you know what times of day places will be less crowded and where the best place to park the car is to be able to get in/out of that place quickly. you are able to point out all...