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I don't know how to deal with this any longer. I am weak. I can't do this any longer. Its all becoming too much to handle. I feel like I am going to physically and mentally explode.

I have to start accepting that I will never get the closure I need from him. He will never apologize for or acknowledge the abuse he put me through. I want to isolate myself more and more. I am embarrassed with myself. I hate myself.

5 AM thoughts: FFFFF YOUUUUUU FOR WHAT YOU DID TO ME. I HATE THIS BODY I AM TRAPPED IN. YOU MADE ME FEEL GROSS AND USED LIKE A TOY. YOU CONSTANTLY CRITICIZED ME AND TOLD ME I WASN'T ENOUGH. I HAVE TO LIVE WITH THE BURDEN OF KNOWING WHAT YOU DID TO ME AND KNOWING THAT YOU WILL GO WITHOUT...

Wow that really put a lot into perspective for me. I am too trusting of people. I trust them like I trusted my dad when I was a kid haha. Thank you so much for everything you had to say. I need to stop giving people my trust when they have not earned it. I think I am going to cancel again...

Well we have been talking for a while and he has been really patient with me. We were supposed to have 2 different dates already but I cancelled both and he was very understanding and he actually stuck around. I also told him that I do not want to hook up and he said that it didnt matter and...

Okay excuse my french but im flipping the f*ck out. I have a date scheduled for tomorrow. Its currently 3 am and I cant sleep because of the anxiety and anticipation. This is my first time talking to someone or going on a date with someone since my ex boyfriend. Im so scared. My heart and my gut...

Hi a little update for you I finally decided to contact my therapist today. Thank you so much for your advice, it gave me the motivation to contact her. :))

Yet I still find myself reminiscing on the good times. The times when we would laugh together and pick music for each other. I still remember when you got me those concert tickets and when you ordered me my favorite foods. You were so nice at times. You made me believe that you loved me. I was...

How am I supposed to stay in this room when I am surrounded by all the trauma? The bed where I sleep is also the same bed where you choked me till the point of passing out. My pillows are the same ones you used to shove my head into when you raped me. My dresser is the same dresser you pinned me...

You were mad at me because I went out dancing with my girls the night before and we ended up dancing together with a gay couple. You yelled at me over the phone, banged your hands on your desk, and threw your tv remote across the room. I was terrified of your rage. After fighting for some...

I think I need to go back to therapy but its hard finding a new one because of the state of things right now and my mom has not been any help she has ignored my pleas to go back to therapy. I had a really good one who I loved and she was a big help with my PTSD but my ex forced me to stop...

I know exactly what you mean and Im so glad you could put it into words. I thought I was the only one. I do the same thing with looking up articles. Its like I can't process that this happened to me without having a concrete answer as to why. I wasn't expecting so many people to have the...

I was in therapy when I met my ex but I never had the guts to tell her what was going on. She asked me if he was ever physically abusive and I said lied. He eventually forced me to stop meeting with her because he didn't like her. I really liked her as a therapist but I have be scared to reach...

Sometimes I find myself purposely watching or listening to things that trigger me. I was physically abused by my ex boyfriend but I never realized it or acknowledged that it actually happened until after we broke up. I remember that he would hit me but tell me I was crazy or didn't know what I...

Thank you for the encouragement, I hope this site can provide the guidance and help it did for you to me as well. It makes me hopeful that you say that because, as you know, being in an abusive relationship tears you down and makes you feel like nothing. I hope joining here could be a step in a...

Thank you for kind words, I really appreciate it! I can already tell that talking on here will be good for me. Thank you so much!! I'm glad I am here too, I think it could be really helpful!

Hello everyone! I was diagnosed just last year when memories of my father sexually abusing me resurfaced. I'm still navigating how to cope with the flashbacks and aftermath of my family finding out. It has been really difficult for me. I also just recently got out of a very abusive relationship...